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[oldark]

Dear Urist the Hunter,

The vermin that your starving compatriots are hunting for are NOT that tasty.. or easy to find. There is no need to "cancels return kill: hunting vermin".  That tuskox could have fed everyone

[Urist McKiwi]

Dear Urist McCarpenter & the other 4 guys helping you.

Please stop screaming that you can't build the wall because you're standing on top of the worksite. You lot have held up construction by three months and if this doesn't get finished soon the farms won't go up this year and you'll all starve once winter sets in.



(This is, quite easily, my absolute least favourite bug in DF. Building anything aboveground is an endless stream of "Urist McStupid cancels Build Wall; standing on the bloody thing" messages.)

[Erils]

Dear Farmers,

We need food. The hunters aren't going to be able to supply enough food for everyone and they can't make booze either. Only one of you is working on the farms. I made more farms for you and there are more than enough seeds, but you still aren't working. I have been forced to selling all our gems, weapons and armor to buy food and booze from the trade caravans. You better thank the elves because without their food we would all be dead by now. If you don't start working soon, I will...well I don't know what I'll do. I can't kill you as that would likely cause tantrums. Maybe you'll just go missing in the underground caves.

Yours angrily,
Your angry Overseer

Dear that one farmer who works,

Thank you. Your efforts to keep this fortress alive have been noted and you will be rewarded with your own room and memorial once they are ready. You are the only farmer that is working and are keeping us just from the brink of starvation. I'm sorry that I only let you grow plump helmets but, as we have a river, food is more important than drink right now. You shall be rewarded for your persistence and work.

Sincerely yours,
Your thankful Overseer

[WoobMonkey]

Dear Urist McMigrant:

     I don't know what they told you back at the mountainhomes, but this area is half-haunted/half joyous wilds.  It would be in your, and our, best interests if you'd take the extra day to loop around, and come from the west or south.  Instead of through the swarm of Giant Sparrow Woman corpses.

     Instead of helping us to gather what little wood we can, you've instead forced us to waste logs on caskets.

     Also, this is no place for children.  Stop bringing them.  Seriously, almost half of our population is under the age of ten, and the overseer is starting to talk about 'creative' ways to deal with our current food shortage.  Something to do with 'fishing brats outta the aquifer,' if I heard him correctly.

     Sincerely,
       
       A concerned resident of Edangzak Utharsanad Gedor.

[krg]

not really frustrated but kinda puzzled.

Dear Bomrek Oslanmesir,
Please explain this statue to me. How do you settle a dingo? Much less a giant one?



head-scratchingly-puzzled, your lord and master,
krg

unless it is a city type name maybe?




note: i am running the lfr mod if that makes a difference

[the1337doofus]

not really frustrated but kinda puzzled.

Dear Bomrek Oslanmesir,
Please explain this statue to me. How do you settle a dingo? Much less a giant one?



head-scratchingly-puzzled, your lord and master,
krg

unless it is a city type name maybe?




note: i am running the lfr mod if that makes a difference

I believe it refers to the giant dingo settling in an area, not being settled upon. Although it would be kinda cool if you could play "micro-dwarf fortress" and settle a colony on the back of a giant dingo......

[KingBacon]

Dear Expendable Slags,

So we lost a great potter (though he was 160 yrs old) to trogs, and then we lost all but one of the archers cause YOU spearmen were busy twaddling their thumbs. I know who's being pitted with ogres next siege. Seriously, do I have to draft all you slags and press you into military service? Because I will. Hell, I might start impaling your pets in the dining room.

We don't have any weapons grade metal other than galena. I'll give you guys a choice? You slags want to fight with silver swords or hammers? Cause all of you are in for a braining when the next monstrosity comes bellowing up from the depths.

-You're Malevolent Overseer

[WanderingKid]

Dear Migrants to FurnaceClans...

My apologies.  I know that the big scary undead on the surface are intensely scary, and ANYWHERE would be better then right there.

Run home, though.  Right back the way you came, you sober beards.  Do not run... oh gods... right into... the HORROR.... the... oh, the children too? ... Overfiend Magma Grinder...

... wow.  That's a mess.

-Overfiend

[Cattani]

Dear Urist McDoctor,

The administration commitee would like to thank you in your efforts to heal the 6 injuried dwarves from the last goblin siege. Your competence has been noted many times in the last years on helping miners with broken bones and hunters in profuse bleeding.
What we would like to know if why you insist in leaving the bolts stuck in your comrade's bodies. We have now 5 dwarves walking around with silver and copper crossbow bolts sticking out of their limbs. We understand Christmas is near, but making a christmas tree out of living dwarves is unacceptable unless you're the Overseer. Its important to overstate the gravity of this situation.

The administration commitee of Bellstrusted.

[Niccolo]

Dear Urist McDoctor,

The administration commitee would like to thank you in your efforts to heal the 6 injuried dwarves from the last goblin siege. Your competence has been noted many times in the last years on helping miners with broken bones and hunters in profuse bleeding.
What we would like to know if why you insist in leaving the bolts stuck in your comrade's bodies. We have now 5 dwarves walking around with silver and copper crossbow bolts sticking out of their limbs. We understand Christmas is near, but making a christmas tree out of living dwarves is unacceptable unless you're the Overseer. Its important to overstate the gravity of this situation.

The administration commitee of Bellstrusted.

The bolts themselves are quite possibly forbidden.

Or maybe the dwarves just think it's more badass. Like war trophies.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Mothers Urist McDuggars,

I do realize that I had babies turned way, way low for about 5 years.  turning them back up a bit does not mean it is time to start dropping them out over and over.  some of you have had kids 2-3 times.  Seriously, did you just have them all stored up inside there until I said MOAR BABBIES!?  Your uteri are NOT clown cars.  I'm turning it back down and leaving it there.

the Overseer

Dear Mayor,

Knock it off with the traction benches. I am running out of room for them, haven't found magma yet, and the hospital has more than it needs.  I keep replacing you for a reason, but they keep voting you back in.  One more bench request, and you're going into the "Goblin Welcoming Squad" right outside the fort.  I mean it.

No love,

The Overseer

[jcochran]

Dear Mothers Urist McDuggars,

I do realize that I had babies turned way, way low for about 5 years.  turning them back up a bit does not mean it is time to start dropping them out over and over.  some of you have had kids 2-3 times.  Seriously, did you just have them all stored up inside there until I said MOAR BABBIES!?  Your uteri are NOT clown cars.  I'm turning it back down and leaving it there.

Try

[BABY_CHILD_CAP:100:50]

inside d_init.txt
The above parameters mean that the number of children is capped at 100 absolute, or 50% of the total population whichever is smaller.

And of course, adjust POPULATION_CAP however you want.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Mothers Urist McDuggars,

I do realize that I had babies turned way, way low for about 5 years.  turning them back up a bit does not mean it is time to start dropping them out over and over.  some of you have had kids 2-3 times.  Seriously, did you just have them all stored up inside there until I said MOAR BABBIES!?  Your uteri are NOT clown cars.  I'm turning it back down and leaving it there.

Try

[BABY_CHILD_CAP:100:50]

inside d_init.txt
The above parameters mean that the number of children is capped at 100 absolute, or 50% of the total population whichever is smaller.

And of course, adjust POPULATION_CAP however you want.

Cool, thanks!

[Ravendarksky]

Dear dwarfs,

Why won't you procreate? I've had you locked up underground for 15 years now. Those filthy surface dwellings dwarfs who keep migrating to our sanctuary are up there popping children and moods out like rats cats.

Don't you want to make use of your masterwork candy encrusted beds?

Are we cursed to remain 7 in number until someone dies of old age?

[Hengikjoptr]

Dear Obok Charmedpaddles of Lanternballs,
our very first Hunter and the only source of food for two seasons,

I overseer'd generations of dwarwenkind silently, facepalming from time to time. Even when one of our best craftsdwarves created barn owl leather dildo (true story!) I kept my silence (while purging whole settlement with water). But you... you forced me to break eons of my silence.

You.
Headshotted self.
With a Barn Owl.

Your well-placed shot mutilated that poor bird. Bird corpse fell right on you, knocking you out of consciousness. I have no gol-dern idea what prevented you from taking sidestep and/or catching it. It is not that heavy nor fast to be unavoidable. Looks like getting hit in a head with an owl corpse is a thing you desired. Why don't you join that barn owl loving craftsdwarf I mentioned earlier? Think about it while having rest in our Hospital.

Sincerely,
frustrated Hengikjoptr of Lanternballs,
the Overseer.

NB: I swear this freaky fortress name was generated by random.