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[smjjames]

How did your recruit get killed by a vermin fish?

Thrown item?

[Eric Blank]

A kea man wielding it?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

And now for something completly different...
*salmon slap!*

[IronTomato]

It may have been a different fish. It was something that shouldn't have been able to kill him.

[the1337doofus]

It may have been a different fish. It was something that shouldn't have been able to kill him.

MILKFISH!

[smjjames]

Did the fisherdwarf die via drowning or as a result of wounds? Though I suppose a fish could always get a lucky shot to the skull, what with the paper thin skulls right now.

[IronTomato]

It may have been a different fish. It was something that shouldn't have been able to kill him.

MILKFISH!

That was it.

Did the fisherdwarf die via drowning or as a result of wounds? Though I suppose a fish could always get a lucky shot to the skull, what with the paper thin skulls right now.

The fish did some good damage to the dwarf, but he eventually died from drowning.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Dear Urist McJeweler,
Stop being such a whining tantrumthrower. If you hate the cavern floor so much, use the bed in the nice, relatively large room I assigned you. Seriously, do so or I'll create a kill command and then proceed to designate your room.
Your maniacal Overseer

[the1337doofus]

A FUCKING LARGE ASS NOTE TO URIST MCFISHERDWARF:

 NEXT TIME I TURN ON FASTDWARF, REMIND ME TO TELL YOU NO FISHING. SERIOUSLY, THAT'S A FUCKTON OF FISH.

On the bright side, you are now an unofficial noble. I crown you Crayfish King of FishFort, Fishy Fort of Fish. Seriously. That is a lot of fish.

-Your slightly irritated, but also extremely happy overseer.

[CitationXIV]

ATTN: Urist McDiagnostician, UristMcSurgeon, Urist McNurse and UristMcChiefMedicalDwarf,

Your complete failure to attend to the two severely injured dwarves waiting in the hospital has been noted in your files. That the first dwarf succumbed to her wounds and the second died of thirst has also been noted. I know you can perform your tasks. I know the hospital is functional. I will take this moment to commend you on patching up the other two wounded dwarves. But that did not give you permission to then loiter in the dining hall with "no job" for three full seasons.

Do it again and you will all be reassigned to the Goblin Hygiene Chamber to open the cages by hand prior to their next inundation. As it is, you are all back on hauling duty for now, and the hematite isn't going to move down 100 z-levels to the magma smelters by itself.


ATTN: Urist McBroker

No, by all means, have a nap. For the whole season. It's not like the human caravan is going anywhere while we're under siege.

[PDF urist master]

Dear dwarves.

please clean the dwarven bathtub. there is some frozen extract in there that's rotting all of out free range animals. Even though you are unaffected by it, rotting has caused a lot of miasma in the meeting halls, lowering dwarven morale. I know how much you love your cats. so please clean the bathtub or their skin rots off.

[Nidilap]

Dear, Urist mcCheesemaker,

Get out.

Signed, Urist McOverseer

[the1337doofus]

Dear, Urist mcCheesemaker,

Get out.

Signed, Urist McOverseer

From Urist McCheeseMaker, to my beloved overseer:
B't ae' dinnae' have anywhere else tae' go! An' if I gae' bach' tae' th' mountaenhome', ae'll bae' executed faer' naet' dooin' me' job! An' if ye' dinnae' like me, put me tae' work dae'n somethin' mae're useful! Laek' haulin', er' stone smoothin'!

-Urist McCheeseMaker

[Axe27]

Dear Dwarven Child #18

Listen, when I say get in the fortress, I mean, get in the goddamn fortress. That 165 ton bronze man chasing you wants to kill the living crap out of you. And he did. Because you're an idiot.

Thankfully, despite being a full 50 feet high and weighing 165 tons, he's stuck in a wooden cage, saving the rest of the fortress from his wrath.

[Nidilap]

Dear, Urist mcCheesemaker,

Get out.

Signed, Urist McOverseer

From Urist McCheeseMaker, to my beloved overseer:
B't ae' dinnae' have anywhere else tae' go! An' if I gae' bach' tae' th' mountaenhome', ae'll bae' executed faer' naet' dooin' me' job! An' if ye' dinnae' like me, put me tae' work dae'n somethin' mae're useful! Laek' haulin', er' stone smoothin'!

-Urist McCheeseMaker

OFFICIAL DOCUMENT FROM OVERSEER URIST MCOVERSEER

DWARF URIST MCCHEESEMAKER, YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER A CHEESMAKER WITHIN THIS FORT. IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE TO LIVE WITHIN THESE WALLS, PLEASE GO TALK WITH THE DWARVEN THERAPIST FOR RE-EVALUATION. YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT SCHEDULED AS SOON AS I TAB OUT TO USE DWARF THERAPIST(tm).

SIGNED,

Urist Mcoverseer, overseer of DwarfBurned, Barony of the West