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[the1337doofus]

Dear idiotic colorful ponies;

 That green, roiling cloud of dust coming towards you? It's irradiated. Stay OUT of it.

-Overseer of Applebuck

[Pinstar]

Dear idiotic colorful ponies;

 That green, roiling cloud of dust coming towards you? It's irradiated. Stay OUT of it.

-Overseer of Applebuck

"What? I thought its the first sign that the zap apples were gonna bloom. I wanted to run around in it to celebrate!"



Dear Urist McBoneCarver

My hunters just took down and butchered FIVE unicorns. I set aside a special stockpile and workshop just for them so you can make them into valueble crafts while using all the yak, cheetah and honey badger bones you have laying around for the bolts. Why did you interpret this setup to mean "Immediately use all the unicorn bones for bolt making" We could have bought a lot more crap from the first caravan if we had those crafts!

[aiseant]

Dear Urist McBoneCarver

My hunters just took down and butchered FIVE unicorns. I set aside a special stockpile and workshop just for them so you can make them into valueble crafts while using all the yak, cheetah and honey badger bones you have laying around for the bolts. Why did you interpret this setup to mean "Immediately use all the unicorn bones for bolt making" We could have bought a lot more crap from the first caravan if we had those crafts!

Dear Overseer,

I don't get it. Obvious use of unicorn bones is to make bolt. And with those unicorn bone bolts, we can kill more unicorns. And with those newly dead unicorns, we could make more bolts, and kill more unicorns and and ... *head explosion*

[smjjames]

Dear overseer,

Well hey, we still have the horns and hooves, right?

[WanderingKid]

I swear, Urist, you're going to drive me to drink the stockpile dry.

Look.  It's a wall spot.  I've deconstructed ALL the walls around it. I've cancelled and reactivated the job. About 8 times.  I've dug you other places to stand (that we'll wall later).

Why, in Armok's name, do you constantly INSIST on standing RIGHT ON the job site?  None of the other tricks to get you to NOT stand there are working.  You insist.  It's empty for all four cardinal directions.  WHYYYYYYyyyyy?!!!!

EDIT:

No, seriously:



There is flat sand to the south and west of you.  There is flat stone to the north and east of you.  I have used EVERY trick I can think of to get you to NOT stand there.

What the hell is your malfunction?

... Seriously, I had to traffic restrict the square so you... ARGH.  Well, you built it... finally.

[Imp]

There is flat sand to the south and west of you.  There is flat stone to the north and east of you.  I have used EVERY trick I can think of to get you to NOT stand there.

What the hell is your malfunction?

... Seriously, I had to traffic restrict the square so you... ARGH.  Well, you built it... finally.

Thanks Boss!

That was what I wanted, yep.  Got dared to accept two bets.  One was that I couldn't find a way to get you to traffic restrict was what about to be the middle of a wall, the second was that you were smart enough to figure out what I wanted right away.

I won the first, but I have to tell you I lost the second, Boss.

No way was I going to bet against you.

Remember that, if you don't like our fun.  I was dared, it wasn't me.  And I refused to bet against you.  Punish them, not me!

Thanks,
Urist.

[WanderingKid]

Urist, you all must be making a ton of bets, cause I'm torn.  You've just managed to stack up two wounded patients into the same bed in an 8 bed hospital.

I'm impressed.  You quickly and efficiently got our wounded to the hospital.  Then packed them in like sardines into a corner of the equivalent of a wide open warehouse.

I hope you're winning a lot of these bets...

[lazygun]

Dear dwarves

While we haven't got round to digging out and furnishing individual rooms for you, there is a clearly marked dormitory room, filled with plenty of beds, so would you please STOP SLEEPING IN THE HOSPITAL and blocking all the beds in the ward.

Or, I might make sure you *need* to sleep in the hospital, know what I mean?

Your cranky overseer.

[Kiloku]

Dear Goron McCook

It's cool that you want to cook some rocks for today's meal. But did you HAVE to choose to cook the few chunks of lignite we JUST mined?

Your beloved overseer.

(Legend of Zelda mod, you play as Gorons)

[wierd]

Bigbrother,

A growing goron needs the carbon in that lignite to be healthy and strong! You dont want brittle, glassy skinned gorons do you? Besides, how else am I supposed to get that satisfying crackle and crunch?

Goron McCook

[Pinstar]

Dear Migrants

You guys are prepared. Five you and you have two copper crossbows with copper bolts and quivers and a STEEL pickaxe. Color me impressed!

Now WHY DIDN"T YOU USE THEM when I sent you against that were-panda attacking our sheep? I even told you that you could use your own weapons!

[the1337doofus]

Dear Moral Daggertrees;

 I know I told you to stabinate that pony who was intent on beating up the rest of the migrants he came along with. I did not, however, ever say "poke holes in everypony else that you see afterwards". Now you've killed a fisherpony, my best engraver, and my best miner. Please go have a chat with that Mr. Macintosh over there.

- OverColt Doof

[wierd]

Dear overcolt doof,

Everypony knows that sending a pony to kill another pony from the herd without that pony being labeled a threat to the herd first, causes the pony that did the killing to be ostracised and labeled a threat to the herd! Ordered murder is still murder! Further, any pony that kills that ostracised pony will themselves be likewise ostracised and branded!

This means that by ordering me to kill that pony, you have made me an enemy of the herd! I am just defending myself from every other pony!

[Note, look up "loyalty cascade" for more.]

--Moral Daggertrees

[the1337doofus]

Dear overcolt doof,

Everypony knows that sending a pony to kill another pony from the herd without that pony being labeled a threat to the herd first, causes the pony that did the killing to be ostracised and labeled a threat to the herd! Ordered murder is still murder! Further, any pony that kills that ostracised pony will themselves be likewise ostracised and branded!

This means that by ordering me to kill that pony, you have made me an enemy of the herd! I am just defending myself from every other pony!

[Note, look up "loyalty cascade" for more.]

--Moral Daggertrees

I thought it wouldn't cause a loyalty cascade, the pony I had killed had showed up as "opposed to life". Guess I was wrong.

[jcochran]

Dear Urist McMayor,

Just because the baron demanded a lay pewter sarcophagus to be installed in his dining room did not mean that you in turn could demand an aluminum weapon rack to be installed in your dining room? Why did you demand aluminum? They is none in this fort. None of the caravans that have arrives in the past few years have had any, and after you made your demand, when I encountered the outpost liaison and he asked what we need, the list of available metals and stones had aluminum conspicuously absent.  I won't bother manually appointing a replacement mayor since you darn well know that I'd have to repeat that circus each year. So I prefer a more permanent solution to an unreasonable mayor. The unhappy thoughts you had about your demand not being met were quite short lived. I trust you enjoyed your rather warm bath in magma. Don't worry, you'll have no more unhappy thoughts and the engraver made a very nice slab for you. Your disappearance was quite a mystery. Perhaps your replacement will not have any silly demands that can't be met. But if he does, a date with a special lever awaits him or her as well.