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[Pinstar]

Dear Urist McMiner

Thank you for alerting me to the presence of damp stone.

I have taken the effort to drain out that murkey pool that was causing said dampness.

Would you kindly continue mining out the area I mapped for you without constantly badgering me about it? That 1/7 water puddle and muddy stone left in the pool is not going to flood the fortress.

[aiseant]

But ... but ... my socks ! They're gonna be wet ! I need you to stop making me digging stuffs that cause this ! Pleeeeaaaaaase !


Dear Urist McMinerLazy

You have pick.
You had food and booze recently. You slept very well. You are one of the lucky dwarves with no hauling job.
The tiles right in front of you is marked to be mined.
Please proceed.

I have no idea why you insist on doing nothing for no reason, but it cannot be tolerated for long...

Regards
Overseer, and the whole fort waiting for bedrooms

[PetWolverine]

Dear Friends of Urist McSwimmer,

It is my sincere hope that we may learn something from Urist's fate. While his decision to walk out on the river just before the spring thaw was perhaps foolhardy, his adaptability in learning to swim fast enough to keep from drowning was commendable. We should all also remember with admiration his persistence as he trained his swimming skill up to Adept - one might have thought he would stop to take a break at some point, but who are we to judge Urist's sudden fondness for the water?

It is true, we may wish to question the self-assessment of Adept Swimmer from one who chooses to simply tread in place as the water level slowly drops around him, downstream of the large dam we built this past winter. But it's undeniable that he had the practice, and managed not to drown.

Also undeniable was his love of the river, so much so that, apparently, he foreswore drinking of its waters, preferring only to swim. We have to wonder why, when presented with the options of either swimming to shore and climbing out of the river along the nice sloping ramps carved by Armok and our miners for this purpose, or simply drinking the fresh water with which he was surrounded, he chose instead to make his blissful enjoyment of the refreshing water the last thing he felt as he wasted away due to dehydration even as some of you were wading into the more fully drained areas to retrieve socks.

Yes, I dearly hope that we might learn a lesson from Urist's unfortunate end, but I have no idea what that lesson would be, as I'm sure any of you would have done exactly the same thing in his place. May you all die in magma.

[BlackFlyme]

Dear Goden McNecromancer, mayor of Murkyroads,

I understand that you enjoy the company of the dead, but others do not. This disagreement is not reasonable grounds for turning others into a part of your unholy legion of the damned. I respectfully ask that you stop, as this behavior is a danger to the others that live within our fine city.

Oh, wait. You are the only resident. I wonder why...

At least get the troll corpses reigned in, as their rampant destruction of public property will not be tolerated.

Sincerely, the voice in your head.

[Eric Blank]

Dear Goden McNecromancer, mayor of Murkyroads,

I understand that you enjoy the company of the dead, but others do not. This disagreement is not reasonable grounds for turning others into a part of your unholy legion of the damned. I respectfully ask that you stop, as this behavior is a danger to the others that live within our fine city.

Oh, wait. You are the only resident. I wonder why...

At least get the troll corpses reigned in, as their rampant destruction of public property will not be tolerated.

Sincerely, the voice in your head.

You may just have to have him lock himself in an area to construct a trap to lure the trolls in and then trap them/smash them under drawbridges.

[BlackFlyme]

You may just have to have him lock himself in an area to construct a trap to lure the trolls in and then trap them/smash them under drawbridges.

It's a little late to save this fort, when he migrated in it was right next to a dead ambush, so there wasn't a chance from the beginning. There were over 500 corpses walking around last I checked, and that's not counting the ones that could still be resurrected. The death toll is far too high for any more migrants to even think about coming. That and a ghost just murderized him, so the city is done.

[Shoruke]

Dear Urist, I no longer give a damn if there's somebody standing in the place I told you to put the wall, BECAUSE IT'S YOU. Hurry the hell up and do it! We have killsats to build here!

Also, we have more than enough friggin' wheelbarrows, you should empower yourself to just find one and use it if it's going to help you get the schist done faster.

-Overseer Shoruke

P.S. You're a Dumbass.

[Grey Goo]

It's a little late to save this fort, when he migrated in it was right next to a dead ambush, so there wasn't a chance from the beginning. There were over 500 corpses walking around last I checked, and that's not counting the ones that could still be resurrected. The death toll is far too high for any more migrants to even think about coming. That and a ghost just murderized him, so the city is done.

Sounds like great place for little adventuring mode!...

[Jarnis]

But ... but ... my socks ! They're gonna be wet ! I need you to stop making me digging stuffs that cause this ! Pleeeeaaaaaase !


Dear Urist McMinerLazy

You have pick.
You had food and booze recently. You slept very well. You are one of the lucky dwarves with no hauling job.
The tiles right in front of you is marked to be mined.
Please proceed.

I have no idea why you insist on doing nothing for no reason, but it cannot be tolerated for long...

Regards
Overseer, and the whole fort waiting for bedrooms

But Sir, the burrows you have allocated for us ends at this wall. I cannot dig through here or the Hammerer will come and spank my ass for venturing outside the designated areas.

I mean, the invasion ended six months ago but there must still be something lurking outside since we are still under invasion alert. Get the Urist McSwordman to mine it, he's qualified to step outside the burrows.

[Lielac]

Dear Urist McDeadBerserkClothier:

Why, why, why did you have to go insane four days before the dwarven caravan arrived? I know I didn't have any silk cloth for you, but if you had just waited a few more days then you would have been able to filch plenty off the fucking wagons!

But noooo, you're dead and your daughter is miserable and going to starve to death because she's six months old and thus still dependent on her mother for support and feeding and crap, oh and you broke her shoulder nice going crazy.

And just to top it off you were my best fucking clothier. Thanks, asshole.

Fuck you,
Overseer of Beardbasement

[aiseant]

But ... but ... my socks ! They're gonna be wet ! I need you to stop making me digging stuffs that cause this ! Pleeeeaaaaaase !


Dear Urist McMinerLazy

You have pick.
You had food and booze recently. You slept very well. You are one of the lucky dwarves with no hauling job.
The tiles right in front of you is marked to be mined.
Please proceed.

I have no idea why you insist on doing nothing for no reason, but it cannot be tolerated for long...

Regards
Overseer, and the whole fort waiting for bedrooms

But Sir, the burrows you have allocated for us ends at this wall. I cannot dig through here or the Hammerer will come and spank my ass for venturing outside the designated areas.

I mean, the invasion ended six months ago but there must still be something lurking outside since we are still under invasion alert. Get the Urist McSwordman to mine it, he's qualified to step outside the burrows.

There was no burrow at this time in the fort. It took me reload and manually changinf all their picks for them to work again. No idea why.



Dear Urist McMigrants

I never asked you to come here. Really. I can only assume you're doing so because my fort is attractve, right ? So why the bloody hell are you so unhappy ? Why did you come if it was only to throw tantrum two months after your arrival ?

Because of you, next waves will find the fortress door closed. Indefinitively. Outside in the rain and the snow, with their children and stupid pets. And you.
And yes, we have wolfs outside.

See ya,

Overseer

[smjjames]

Dear Urist McEverybody,

*sigh* Stop standing on each others remove construction designations and causing one or more to fall to their deaths while removing the scaffolding, two dwarves died already and one got badly injured but will live.

I am forced to stagger the designations each tile to prevent your watered down sewer brew asses from killing each other or otherwise badly injuring.

Signed, your glorious overseer.

[IronTomato]

Dear Mason:

JUST REMOVE THE DAMN WALL. IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS!

~IronTomato

[Snaake]

Dear Mason:

JUST REMOVE THE DAMN WALL. IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS!

~IronTomato

Bah, that's kiddie stuff, I'm too buzy making masterwork furniture, churning out blocks and partying.

[Baffler]

Mining Team 1,

     Your task was very simple. A 1x4 strip of rock hanging 1 z-level above the Trade Depot. The farthest from the ledge was channeled just fine, but the next one... I have no idea how you caused the collapse, but at first glance I was quite pleased. The offending tiles had been removed perfectly with no damage done to the surrounding area. Then I saw the two of you. you were covered all over with cuts, bruises, and broken bones. You had been thrown almost 20 tiles, only stopping when you hit the far wall. This isn't even the most baffling part of the accident though. According to the reports you filed, you were repeatedly, somehow, BURNED WITH MAGMA!

     The wounds you have suffered are consistent with your report, I am not questioning that. I am just curious as to just how the actual fuck you managed to be burned by magma on the surface, far from the only magma we are currently aware of, which is currently resting securely 150 z-levels below the excavation. If you've figured out how to spontaneously generate magma, you owe it to dwarvenkind to recover and share this secret. Unfortunately, we don't have the facilities to treat you. Being the only miners in the fortress though, I think I can scrape something together for you.

Wishing you a swift recovery,
The Administration