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[dresdor]

Dear Urist McLonelyDorf

I understand that being the only one of the seven hammerdwarves to survive the assault to retake the fortress is stressful.  I know having your lover going mad running through the fortress babbling is probably a lot to handle....but you were doing good.  The ghosts had even stopped for a little bit, after the twelfth memorial was placed.  You had plenty of food and drink, and the undead hordes were safely sealed outside the fort.

So why did you randomly die?  You were HAPPY even, had a legendary bedroom and dining room all to yourself.  Sure, it was hard having constant reminders that everyone you knew and loved were dead.  Especially with your psychic knowledge that they were rotting away on the surface world, but hey....remember that necormancer siege that came and killed all the migrants that came in the fall?  No corporeal undead came near you.

Oh well, guess you're one of the hundreds of undead now infesting that fortress.  Shame the sealed off cavern bugged out on my next reclaim, I really liked the way that fort was laid out. 

-The Cruel Overseer who wanted to see you go all Urist.

[Akura]

Dear Urist McSuspicious,

You just made an artifact robe.  With images of two Necromancer books on it.  Are you trying to tell us something?  Either way, we're watching you...scum.

The Overseer of Sackrooter

Lock in room, dump corpses from above. If zombies, flood with magma.

[masterdiscord]

dear kea's

stay away from my bags! i need those for seeds!

oh and drop my wheel burrows! you don't even NEED wheel burrows!

This is why I "slayrace kea" whenever I have that problem. Seriously. It's a parrot. How the hell is it going to fly off with a WHEELBARROW? A gem, a trinket, a piece of clothing I could understand. But a WHEELBARROW? Marble blocks are irritating as well. Why isn't there a weight restriction?

[WillowLuman]

Not to mention artifact statues...

[wierd]

Never underestimate the tenacity of a bird that *really* wants the shiny.

I usualy have problems getting 5 fingered by rhesus macaques though. Come in troupes, and raid the trade depot.

Little kleptos.

[WillowLuman]

I always post marksdwarves for the following little buggers:

buzzards
monkeys (they all do it)
keas

[dresdor]

Dead Urists Mcdeadsquad

So....you thought it was a good idea to bum rush a group of undead without your weapons or armor...

Enjoy doing the thriller dance.

Sincerely, your overseer, who just doesn't care anymore.

[flame99]

Dead Urists Mcdeadsquad

So....you thought it was a good idea to bum rush a group of undead without your weapons or armor...

Enjoy doing the thriller dance.

Sincerely, your overseer, who just doesn't care anymore.

I think that "Doesn't really care about anything anymore" is the standard mode for a DF player. After all, pretty much no one cares one a dwarf dies.

[mate888]

Dear Urtist Mc Badmarksdorf:
Why did you think that smashing a Werelemur with a crossbow, when you had your quiver perfectly full of bolts? And at least you could smash him in the sipne, the face or something, but, in the foot? IN THE F*KING FOOT?!

Also, Dear Elves Mc Hippies:
If there are THREE Werelemur killing all of the dwarfs on the fortress you came to trade with, you shouldn't just stay watching him killing them and charging to you, you doomed the fortress and yourself... And why? Because of the wooden walls?

Angry, Armok.

PS: Why are you black but redheaded? You dye your hair or you just fucked with an autmun tree?

[dresdor]

Dead Urists Mcdeadsquad

So....you thought it was a good idea to bum rush a group of undead without your weapons or armor...

Enjoy doing the thriller dance.

Sincerely, your overseer, who just doesn't care anymore.

I think that "Doesn't really care about anything anymore" is the standard mode for a DF player. After all, pretty much no one cares one a dwarf dies.

I care....a little at least....okay, you're right I gladly send them to their dwarfy doom when I get bored.

[wierd]

PS: Why are you black but redheaded? You dye your hair or you just fucked with an autmun tree?

To Armok,
God of profane and relentless bloodshed

We, the elves of (unintelligable swirly gibberish), take GREAT offence at your rather LEWD accusation of sexual inpropriety on our part!

We will have you know, in the most stern words we feel proper to use (being opposed to violence in any form!), that any such profane rumors about how we go about naming our favored trees in our sacred groves in no way, shape, or form involves any of the lurid and blasphemous acts that and your diminutive, tree murdering savages so relentlessly accuse us of!

If you MUST know why some of us have rust colored hair, despite being darkened by the gentle caress of the brilliant sun, it is because our sacred pact with nature forbids us to harm our animal brothers and sisters, and as a consequence, many of us have developed kwashiorkor, and make use of clever, tight fitting bodices to conceal the bloated deformities it causes in our midrifts. Try as we might, but we just can't get enough protien from muckroots, prickle berries, and ropereeds.

Now that we have sated your PURILE curiosity on this matter, we expect that you will cease spreading such slanderous drivel about our peace loving people!

-- the Elven nation of (incomprehensible swirlies)

[WillowLuman]

I thought they got all the protein they needed from dead sapients...

[wierd]

There's only so much cannibal corpse meat to go around.

[WillowLuman]

Well, time to start another war then! It increases supply and reduces demand. Less elves needing to be fed, and more corpses to eat. Overall, a win-win for elves!

[flame99]

All I can imagine is a much more tragic version of Monty Python's "Bring out your dead" scene from the Holy Grail.

"Mommy, where's grandpa now?"
"In your digestive track, honey."