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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1500782 times)

itg

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5145 on: August 12, 2013, 12:21:13 am »

(*) a highly-skilled miner cannot directly kill an unconscious ogre - a pick doesn't have enough penetration to reach the brain on unhindered headshots.

No, picks are actually really good for headshots. I've never actually seen a pick hit the head and not tear the brain.

Greiger

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5146 on: August 12, 2013, 09:09:53 am »

I may need to do science but that's what I thought too.  Even if a weapon can't reach a vital organ it can still smash up bones good enough to have those smash up the internals for you.

A mace can't stab through a skull either.  But a mace is still pretty capable of hitting the skull's puree button.
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Larix

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5147 on: August 12, 2013, 02:03:01 pm »

(*) a highly-skilled miner cannot directly kill an unconscious ogre - a pick doesn't have enough penetration to reach the brain on unhindered headshots.

No, picks are actually really good for headshots. I've never actually seen a pick hit the head and not tear the brain.

For foes up to ~horses and cows, yes, but for ogres? Didn't work like that for my miners - all master+ and they got 20+ headshots on an unconscious ogre, not one of which was fatal. Well over a dozen 'shattering the skull' hits, no brain damage. It bled to death from severed arteries.

Might be the ugly 'bone fully absorbs force when breaking, fully transmits force when not' bug that makes punches so deadly.

And for a marksdwarf trying to _shoot_ an ogre, that's still not very relevant, because even if a headshot _can_ instakill an ogre (which i'm not sold on), hit locations in ranged combat are always random.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2013, 02:06:16 pm by Larix »
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WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5148 on: August 12, 2013, 02:17:36 pm »

Headshots aren't very likely in fort mode anyway. However, most giant monsters are quickly felled by arrows, as they chip bones, tear organs, and induce pain comas, leading to quick death by bleeding or, if not quick, a coup de grace by melee combatants.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5149 on: August 13, 2013, 04:47:27 am »

dear urist mcking

please stop sending migrants our way

sincerly someone who wants to have beer


(ps mcking might seem like a sort of bleep but it is in mc king)
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itg

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5150 on: August 13, 2013, 04:57:56 am »

(*) a highly-skilled miner cannot directly kill an unconscious ogre - a pick doesn't have enough penetration to reach the brain on unhindered headshots.

No, picks are actually really good for headshots. I've never actually seen a pick hit the head and not tear the brain.

For foes up to ~horses and cows, yes, but for ogres? Didn't work like that for my miners - all master+ and they got 20+ headshots on an unconscious ogre, not one of which was fatal. Well over a dozen 'shattering the skull' hits, no brain damage. It bled to death from severed arteries.

Might be the ugly 'bone fully absorbs force when breaking, fully transmits force when not' bug that makes punches so deadly.

Huh. Maybe it's a question of materials? I think my miners have killed ogres with headshots before. They've definitely brained a couple dozen forgotten beasts, at any rate. Edit: They're using steel or adamantine picks, by the way.

dear urist mcking

please stop sending migrants our way

sincerly someone who wants to have beer


(ps mcking might seem like a sort of bleep but it is in mc king)

Capitalization, my friend. "McKing" is unambiguous and would have saved you a full sentence of clarification.

Larix

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5151 on: August 13, 2013, 05:22:12 am »

dear urist mcking

please stop sending migrants our way

sincerly someone who wants to have beer


(ps mcking might seem like a sort of bleep but it is in mc king)

You can send this message to the game and it will be acknowledged and respected:
Dwarf Fortress - subdirectory "data" - subdirectory "init" - edit file "dinit" (*.txt under windows), set "population_cap" to whatever you find acceptable. Ta-da! no migrants once you're past the threshold.

I think it's even easier with DFHack or LNP.

The game effectively assumes that as long as you haven't reached the cap yet, you're sending every liaison home with a Note to Urist:

Dear Urist McKing,

Please please please send more migrants! We are in desperate need of extra beards to battle this horribly tasty beer flood.

<3, Urist McFortressoverseer
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PDF urist master

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5152 on: August 13, 2013, 01:36:42 pm »

i was trying to execute some prisoners when i realized i forgot to close off their escape route.

one of them ran into my dragon chamber and got instantly obliterated, along with the chain holding the dragon.

the war dragon then proceeded to help by blowing dragonfire onto the prisoners... in my main hallway
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hiroshi42

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5153 on: August 13, 2013, 02:40:50 pm »

Dear Liaisons, Wood Cartel and Guild Representatives
You have diplomatic immunity (in theory) with the members of this fortress, not the titans, megafauna, undead, goblins, and undead goblins.  It has always been a minor annoyance but recently your suicidal tendencies have become worrying.  In the past 10 years in two forts no less than five of you have met an untimely death not caused or desired by me.

PS HFS is not an appropriate exit to the fortress, the fact that you use it as one has some unfortunate implications.
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flame99

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5154 on: August 13, 2013, 07:14:18 pm »

Passed underneath a floodgate:
Dear Urist McThirsty,
I have just started construction of a large basin, complete with drainage pipe. You have entered this basin, walked right past the mechanics hooking up the floodgates you see in front of you now. These lead to the drainage pipe. The truly hilarious part is that fact that you have been "Complaining about the lack of a well." This basin's main purpose is to give us a well, and you're going to get a real good view of its first test. You have no in-fort relatives or friends, and your only skill is novice cheesemaker. Goodbye.
Sincerely,
Your Unseen Ruler
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5155 on: August 13, 2013, 09:34:48 pm »

dear urist mcking

please stop sending migrants our way

sincerly someone who wants to have beer


(ps mcking might seem like a sort of bleep but it is in mc king)

You can send this message to the game and it will be acknowledged and respected:
Dwarf Fortress - subdirectory "data" - subdirectory "init" - edit file "dinit" (*.txt under windows), set "population_cap" to whatever you find acceptable. Ta-da! no migrants once you're past the threshold.

I think it's even easier with DFHack or LNP.

The game effectively assumes that as long as you haven't reached the cap yet, you're sending every liaison home with a Note to Urist:

Dear Urist McKing,

Please please please send more migrants! We are in desperate need of extra beards to battle this horribly tasty beer flood.

<3, Urist McFortressoverseer
i don't really want to change the populace cap i will just try to tough it out (ps there is a seige in progress i think the populace could do with a little trimming)
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the1337doofus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5156 on: August 14, 2013, 04:09:08 pm »

Dear Pony McPegasus;
You, my dear, are a pegasus. Therefore, you should, logically, be able to fly. To the question of why you're simply sitting on top of this newly constructed roof, panicking, escapes me. Please get down from there.

-Your loving Mayor of GlitterWeave, Doof

Dear Swamp, Chief Of Security of Maw;

 Why, exactly, did you decide to fight the mirelurk which was all the way across the map? Now you're immobile and in a coma, and completely useless.

Get well soon, preferably with newfound common sense

-Overcolt Doof
« Last Edit: August 15, 2013, 12:55:26 pm by the1337doofus »
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mate888

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5157 on: August 15, 2013, 02:39:37 pm »

Dear Urtist McLeader:
I don't think that sleeping when the first trade caravan cames, and running away from the liason when you are the only trader in the fort, is a logic behaveiour, now, for your fault, we will not have nothing to make our Dorfs happy for the next year!

Dear Urtista Mc Strangemood:
Please, is not normal having a strange mood at 18 years old, but my complains are that you are needing stuff that we don't have! I slaugther Urtits Mc Zoophiliac's dog for your stupid leather cape!

And also mr.Kobold Koboldson: Please, stop coming to steal our stuff!  There where 2 axedorfs that chased you to your camp, killing a total of 5 Kobolds and being hrrobly raped by your kin. Please, they would trade with you if you asked, but you are draining my military slowly.

Sincerly,
Armok, your lord.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5158 on: August 15, 2013, 09:08:41 pm »

Dear Urist McSuspicious,

You just made an artifact robe.  With images of two Necromancer books on it.  Are you trying to tell us something?  Either way, we're watching you...scum.

The Overseer of Sackrooter
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wierd

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5159 on: August 15, 2013, 09:18:55 pm »

Dear Overseer,

You have my deepest, and heartfelt apologies! Having seen first hand the fashion in which you administrate our humble fortress, I really did think you would appreciate and love this unique piece of dwarven craftsmanship. It was the next best thing I could provide, aside from a robe from an actual necromancer.  I know that such an item would probably have pleased you more, but it is against our code of ethics to take trophies from kills, as I am sure you understand.

Instead, I did my very best to give you a uniquely stylish and artifact quality article of clothing that can be worn over a set of armor, so that you could assign it to the captain of the guard to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, as well as afford him a lovely x3 defensive bonus for the clothing layer.

I really did think you would be elated with this item, that I fully burned out the inner spark of my dwarven soul to create for you.  You have no idea how heartbroken I am that you aren't happy with it. I'd offer to do better next time, but we both know that once the spark is gone, it never comes back.

Please accept my most humble, and sincere apologies.

Urist McClothier
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