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[rainpeltstar]

Dear Urist McMason:

I understand that sleeping, eating, and drinking are top priority, but could you please build those walls I ordered you to do? Those serpent-people are slowly advancing towards our main settlement.

The Overseer

[Loud Whispers]

Dear Overseer,

No.

-sincerely, Urist.

Dear Urist,

Yes.

-sincerely, Overseer.

[Slash Harkiri]

Dear captain of Archer squad one.

next time you decide to brutally murder one of your squadmates in front of five dwarves, do not pin the death on the zombie raven a kilometer across the river,not only will noone beleive you, but the tantrums of a result of a bird getting convicted was just retarded.

sincerely: The mountainhalls.

[Silverlock]

Dear captain of Archer squad one.

next time you decide to brutally murder one of your squadmates in front of five dwarves, do not pin the death on the zombie raven a kilometer across the river,not only will noone beleive you, but the tantrums of a result of a bird getting convicted was just retarded.

sincerely: The mountainhalls.

I find this one ridiculously hilarious.

[Gentlefish]

It's funny. You can pin it on any creature on your map - even dead ones. I convicted a dead (scape)goat when my captain of the militia beat down a hunter, killing him in one punch for a punishment of some sort.

[rainpeltstar]

Dear dwarves:

"Urist McMason cancels Construct Building: Creature occupying site."
You're standing in the way, dumbass.

Overseer

[tahujdt]

Dear dwarves:

"Urist McMason cancels Construct Building: Creature occupying site."
You're standing in the way, dumbass.

Overseer

Dear Overseer,
You don't know that! Maybe it's you in the way, didja ever think o' that?

[TigerHunter]

Dear Urist, Urist & Urist, AKA: The Pirate Mason Junta

As you well know, construction on the Mk.1 "Kill the World" device has been held up while you construct floodgates. What you *should* know is that your continued insistence on traveling across the entire fort to get to our non-magma-safe stone is resulting in my seriously considering building the Mk.1 in such a way that it cannot be turned off. Unless you would like this to eventuate, please look to the small mountain of basalt and granite next to your workshops. It's been there for half a year now, you must have noticed it.

[q], move cursor over stockpile, [g], move cursor to workshop, [Enter]. The workshop will now only use stones from that stockpile.

[WillowLuman]

Dear retired werebeast adventurers

For the love of all that is earthy, please stop migrating to my fortress!

[Fishybang]

Dear Uristmcfellandterrible, I  under stand that you are angry, i would to if my baby was slaughtered. However you really did not need to kill my Legendary Armor smith, he was kind of usefull, I even gave him a dagger to protect him self! Please expect to be thrown to the above ground world as soon as you are done,

Your rather angry Overseer, Fishybang.

[Valikdu]

Dear dwarves:

"Urist McMason cancels Construct Building: Creature occupying site."
You're standing in the way, dumbass.

Overseer

Dear Overseer,

You're in my way, sir.
Move away from there.
That's my mark you're at.
You're in my spot.

-Dwarves.

[Imp]

Dear player;

     We miss you.  We were the best of pals!  Together we ripped through this world, found treasures and secrets and killed all manner of evils fell and terrible.  Even when you led us to become cursed, we held true to you and trusted in you - and our trust was redeemed, for you played well and delightfully.

     Not one of our eyes were dry when you retired us; not one of us thought it was joy instead of sorrow to be free from your control as we resumed 'normal lives' as best we could where you released us.  But we are no longer normal, and we would prefer to keep our fates entwined with your play.

     We think it's awesome that we're together with you again, was it some sort of mistake that we got that message that you don't want us in your fine fortress?  This is very hard to understand!

Your loyal, absolutely loyal retired werebeast adventurers,
Ready and willing to follow your play to the ends of the world.

[Andux]

Dear Overseer,

You're in my way, sir.
Move away from there.
That's my mark you're at.
You're in my spot.

-Dwarves.

The Spoony One has become enraged!
The Spoony One punches Reynolds in the soul with his right hand, bruising the pathfinding routines.

[Mr Space Cat]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dear Urist, Urist & Urist, AKA: The Pirate Mason Junta

As you well know, construction on the Mk.1 "Kill the World" device has been held up while you construct floodgates. What you *should* know is that your continued insistence on traveling across the entire fort to get to our non-magma-safe stone is resulting in my seriously considering building the Mk.1 in such a way that it cannot be turned off. Unless you would like this to eventuate, please look to the small mountain of basalt and granite next to your workshops. It's been there for half a year now, you must have noticed it.

[q], move cursor over stockpile, [g], move cursor to workshop, [Enter]. The workshop will now only use stones from that stockpile.

Dear Tigerhunter,
Holy shazbot man, you just blew my mind.
-That Cat Guy in Space
------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mountainhomes,
Thanks for sending that first migrant wave! Yeah, I'm sure this military installation can make excellent use of that couple and their five children, especially those children. The parents will be working on forging equipment for their children's upcoming...volunteer service. Yeah, volunteer service.
-Dah Ovuhseeyah

[Remuthra]

Dear Urist.
When you run from enemies, please do not run towards them and away from the nice, safe fortress filled with murder holes to kill them with.
-Remuthra