Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 303 304 [305] 306 307 ... 504

Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1508195 times)

Cassandra

  • Bay Watcher
  • Serpent Lady, Slayer of Ancients
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4560 on: November 04, 2012, 08:20:50 pm »

Dear Dwarven Elementalist of Serpentshrine

I can understand going after the kobold thief. I can even understand chasing it out of the fortress and then killing it. What I don't understand was WHAT was going through your mind to throw FIREBALLS at the kobold in a DENSE FOREST. The budding fortress has crashed to it's end, you incinerated all the pastured animals, four children, three dwarves, one kobold, a human diplomat, the wagon, the fields... And then went berserk INSIDE the fortress after realizing you burned your own children alive. And then you lit the Brewer, the only priest in the fortress able to soothe your mind, on fire, IN the booze stockpile. So lets recap, shall we? You pissed off the elves, by destroying a forest. You pissed off the humans, by melting a diplomat. You pissed off the kobolds, by melting a thief. You doomed the fortress to a slow death by destroying it's food, and more importantly, it's BOOZE. And most importantly, you pissed off ME. Thats right. I'm coming personally from the mountainhome to cut you apart. Congratulations. You have become the most destructive dwarf in the history of Serpentshrine.

Your Serpentine Overseer,
Cassandra 'Ke' Icefang, the Slayer of Ancients.
Logged
Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

Porcelain

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4561 on: November 04, 2012, 09:29:43 pm »

dear urist mcfisherdwarf

please stop thinking the rapids above the waterfall are shallow enough to walk slowly across with an armful of fish DESPITE the no-traffic forbidden zone and wall designed to shelter your puny mind from having to understand the basics of gravity.

-Porcelain, overseer of the ancientmists dwarven citadel of the twin towers
Logged

ElfLove

  • Bay Watcher
  • What about their legs they dont need those?
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4562 on: November 05, 2012, 12:00:29 am »

Dearest, McUristbrokerdwarf,

How do you have so many a break?
... So many a drink?
... So many a sleep?
... So many a party?
When you are needed?
And how do you feel with the peasent getting your job becuase he is the first to the TP because you took so long with your revelries?
Logged
You have my sword, and my bow.. UristMcGimli strikes down the elf, and my axe.

Eric Blank

  • Bay Watcher
  • *Remain calm*
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4563 on: November 05, 2012, 02:04:37 am »

Dear Dwarven Elementalist of Serpentshrine

I can understand going after the kobold thief. I can even understand chasing it out of the fortress and then killing it. What I don't understand was WHAT was going through your mind to throw FIREBALLS at the kobold in a DENSE FOREST. The budding fortress has crashed to it's end, you incinerated all the pastured animals, four children, three dwarves, one kobold, a human diplomat, the wagon, the fields... And then went berserk INSIDE the fortress after realizing you burned your own children alive. And then you lit the Brewer, the only priest in the fortress able to soothe your mind, on fire, IN the booze stockpile. So lets recap, shall we? You pissed off the elves, by destroying a forest. You pissed off the humans, by melting a diplomat. You pissed off the kobolds, by melting a thief. You doomed the fortress to a slow death by destroying it's food, and more importantly, it's BOOZE. And most importantly, you pissed off ME. Thats right. I'm coming personally from the mountainhome to cut you apart. Congratulations. You have become the most destructive dwarf in the history of Serpentshrine.

Your Serpentine Overseer,
Cassandra 'Ke' Icefang, the Slayer of Ancients.

Oh gods, you're using a mod like that too? Battlemages are some wreckless mofos. I've been lucky in that none of mine have managed to murder everyone indoors.
Logged
I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Cassandra

  • Bay Watcher
  • Serpent Lady, Slayer of Ancients
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4564 on: November 05, 2012, 02:54:07 am »

The Spell-Castes mod, and Chocolate, yes.

The horrible part was that the brewer was a 'special' migrant. A priest brewer prophet, I believe. She was able to actually keep most of my dwarves from tantruming, among other things, and could help cure insanity. At least, I think thats what she was doing. How am I going to replace that in a reclaim?
Logged
Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

Eric Blank

  • Bay Watcher
  • *Remain calm*
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4565 on: November 05, 2012, 11:47:06 am »

Pray to the random number gods, probably. And I didn't know there was a way for a caste to affect other dwarves' moods intentionally through modding. Interesting.
Logged
I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Cassandra

  • Bay Watcher
  • Serpent Lady, Slayer of Ancients
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4566 on: November 05, 2012, 01:22:53 pm »

She was a caste that the RNG blessed with a magic slab during world gen. Sadly, she is a dwarf, so the slab is now hidden in a place that doesn't really exist.
Logged
Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

enizer

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4567 on: November 07, 2012, 05:30:50 am »

dear Urist McEngraver

Re: prisoner execution pit

when i ordered the room around the 20z drop pit we dump goblins and kobold prisoners into, i was hoping for engravings of gruesome goblin death, and you did deliver there

however, one example engraving "an engraving of en elf and a goblin, the goblin is dead, the elf is laughing, this relates to...*wall of text*"
you made seven similar to this one, no two of the same elf and goblin, most not from the same year battle, and i note, not one engraving of anyone else killing goblins

i get the point, the local elves prefer to water their trees with fresh goblin blood, but look around for a bit
this is a DWARF fortress
surely history has some epic DWARF battles?


will be planting a tree for hugging purposes in your bedroom
Enizer
« Last Edit: November 07, 2012, 05:41:38 am by enizer »
Logged

slay_mithos

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4568 on: November 07, 2012, 03:37:55 pm »

Dear Urist McMiner,

Please, if you want to have a fey mood, either do it before you reach legendary +5, or choose an other skill (even if it is not possible...)

Well, at least we will use the Millstone, as I have not yet ordered you guys to build one, but it feels like a loss of a fey nonetheless.

Your overseer.
Logged
For the 55 people who did download V1.5 till now:  You human race is not working.
It is ok, I'm used to that in RL so why should my game be different :p
DFHack tips and tricks for your everyday tasks

Babylon

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4569 on: November 14, 2012, 03:01:49 am »

Dear Urist McHaulers

When I confine you to a burrow on an alert that means stop taking jobs outside that burrow, not stand at the very edge of the burrow where the drawbridge is and run over the draw bridge, out of the burrow, before futiley returning when you realize the job is out of bounds.  The bridge closing in a way that trapped half of you outside with the goblins is entirely your own fault.  I hope you enjoyed your dismembering.
Logged

hops

  • Bay Watcher
  • Secretary of Antifa
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4570 on: November 14, 2012, 03:06:03 am »

Dear Urist McDehydratedtodeath

...Why are you dead in front of the still...?

Your very confused overseer.
Logged
she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

Avatar by makowka

kuki

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4571 on: November 14, 2012, 04:40:14 am »

Urist
Get back inside
Get back inside right now
Why won't you get back inside
The river is not important
The fish are not important
Those bolts are not important
Those socks are not important
The dead guy's toe is not important
You do not need to go hunting right now
The goblins are coming
GET THE FUCK-
Nevermind, Urist, I'm shutting the gates, you're going to die a violent death, and it's your own fault. Just know, as your upper spine is mauled by goblin lashers, that I'm very frustrated with you.
Logged

MythagoWoods

  • Bay Watcher
  • Beware it's deadly sway!
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4572 on: November 14, 2012, 05:01:36 am »

Dear Urist McMilitary,

I started you in full bronze armor after losing several forts to the errant wild life.  I started you with combat experience.  I even have a butcher and cook on standby waiting for you to massacre anything soft, fleshy, and edible that gets to close.  Care to explain to me how you managed to get killed by a lone badger?  You had 5 pages of combat log with you beating the badger in the tail with the flat of your sword until he bit your throat and killed you.

Sincerely,

The Overseer who keeps restarting due to badgers
Logged
My cows are war trainable. BEWARE THE BATTLE CATTLE!

wer6

  • Bay Watcher
  • SCOUT DOESNT WANNA GIVE A KISS
    • View Profile
    • Pirate baaaayyyy!~
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4573 on: November 14, 2012, 07:36:26 am »

Dear Urist McMilitary,

I started you in full bronze armor after losing several forts to the errant wild life.  I started you with combat experience.  I even have a butcher and cook on standby waiting for you to massacre anything soft, fleshy, and edible that gets to close.  Care to explain to me how you managed to get killed by a lone badger?  You had 5 pages of combat log with you beating the badger in the tail with the flat of your sword until he bit your throat and killed you.

Sincerely,

The Overseer who keeps restarting due to badgers


dear overseer:he was so cute!
Logged
Just before leaving, Psysquid quickly summons a Burrito in his mouth.

pisskop

  • Bay Watcher
  • Too old and stubborn to get a new avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4574 on: November 14, 2012, 08:07:44 am »

Dear combat team Delta:
  My bad, I did it.  I taught Rat (my cat) that toes were playthings.  I would slam into it and pounce on it with my foot.  So when I was lounging and playing the first serious attempt at a fort in a while, Rat of course thought it was the perfect time for her to pounce and bite.  I alas could not move you to a more defensible position closer to the fort.

I drew blood, just as you.  You will be buried with honor.  I have no clue how you died, as I was busy fighting off a fierce monster myself, but it was surely not like little nancys.  The combat log be damned, you as heros in my eyes.

Your comicly upset overseer
JD
Logged
Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!
Pages: 1 ... 303 304 [305] 306 307 ... 504