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[WillowLuman]

Dear modoctopus

Stop beating me to death with teacups please. It is very embarrassing.

Sincerely, poor elven adventurer.

[Gamerboy4life]

Dear my frantically-conscripted worker dorfs...

Please grab a weapon. That goddamn centaur is NOT going to die by beating it to death.

Sincerely, the population who cannot do their jobs due to the brawl taking place in the working district.

[Loud Whispers]

and screw as fast as rabbis

There is something very wrong with that.

...Oops, typo. Very amusing typo, but still.

He's probably paralysed. He can't do much when he's losing the battle to get his lungs to do stuff.

He was not paralyzed, its the fact that the spider gave up every once and a while and spammed webs then made the dwarf focus on deflecting love bites with his head.

Was he ever bitten, successfully? All those attacks, consistantly to the head, only happens when dwarves are incapacitated.

Web spam does that.

[Slayerhero90]

Dear my frantically-conscripted worker dorfs...

Please grab a weapon. That goddamn centaur is NOT going to die by beating it to death.

Sincerely, the population who cannot do their jobs due to the brawl taking place in the working district.

So you modded them to be real? Or are they just scared by a really realistic engraving?

[Splint]

Dear Hanslanda the human soldier

You have a sword for a reason. While I understand Girlinhat made a nice cedar shield, that's no excuse to dawdle beating the thing with it.

Do your damn job right, and for god's sake, spit that damn leg out! Ellzo is a 104 year old woman, who happens to murder things for a living, but even she thinks walking around with a grasshopper man's leg in your mouth is wrong.

Sighned, The overseer.

[Loud Whispers]

Dear my frantically-conscripted worker dorfs...

Please grab a weapon. That goddamn centaur is NOT going to die by beating it to death.

Sincerely, the population who cannot do their jobs due to the brawl taking place in the working district.

So you modded them to be real? Or are they just scared by a really realistic engraving?

From his other thread, masterwork mod I believe, where his centaur friend is deciding not dying is a good thing to do.

[Gamerboy4life]

Dear my frantically-conscripted worker dorfs...

Please grab a weapon. That goddamn centaur is NOT going to die by beating it to death.

Sincerely, the population who cannot do their jobs due to the brawl taking place in the working district.

So you modded them to be real? Or are they just scared by a really realistic engraving?

Masterwork mod. Adds a shitton of stuff to the game, including annoying fucking centaurs.

[Eric Blank]

Dear world,

I know, I'm a pitiful little harpy adventurer with no useful skills and no hope of ever accomplishign anything. But is that really an excuse to make it your life's goal to murder me twenty ways to Tuesday and desecrate my corpse? I don't think so. Stop killing me so i don't have to reverse the flow of time and can actually make it to this fortress. Please?

Sincerely, Vuca Kixiithbi, Harpy adventurer.

[WillowLuman]

Dear Rokor, god of Rocks and occasionally Palindromes.

Thank you for your amazing creations. The infinite bounty of small rocks that you bless this ground with has saved my life three times now. With them I can create sharp projectiles, or throw them as-is, and survive any ambush or enemy who meets me out of doors. Without your supurb craftsmanship of these, the finest ranged-weapons about, many hapless wanderers would surely have met their fates at the hands of vicious beasts. You are truly a helper of the meek and the underdog. It is just a pity that you are prevented from blessing this glacier with your benevolence.

Sincerely, Ilahaoe, the crippled Elven adventurer.

[Eric Blank]

Dear Giant Crows,

WHYYYYYYyyyy!?!?

Sincerely, the now-deceased Vuca kixiithbi, Harpy adventurer.

P.s; I'll be back.

[INSANEcyborg]

Dear Ùshrir Ïlunònul

  For future reference, DO NOT stand where the wall is supposed to be built, and complain that something (you) is in the way.  DO NOT fall asleep on spot, preventing others from completing the wall for you.  And above all, DO NOT do the above while there's an 80 goblin 80 beak dog 8 troll siege.   Thank Armok that I didn't want to deal with your corpse, and that it was easier to expand the wall so that you were inside.  Had you been awake, you would have noticed that your comrades finished the wall right before the first squads arrived.

  P.S.  You may have noticed your new nickname, "Sleepy moron".   That's permanent.

[Flying Fortress]

Dear Mountainhome
Take a look at this wall, it says "Pop Cap: 0" on it.  What part of "0" do you not understand?  We at Fightsack are trying to make an aesthetically pleasing fort for our dwarves to live in, but we can't focus on that when you send us 30+ mouths to feed.  Please take your useless migrants and throw them down the nearest volcano as an offering to Armok.
Signed, Your Humble Expedition leader 

Dear Migrants that managed to sneak in
Report to the magma hall and start melting some of the 30,000+ magnetite the miners are working on digging out.
Signed, Your Overseer

Dear Kobolds
Please, just stay away, we're tired of chasing you off our lawn every day.  Next time we might just make it a !!Lawn!! 

[Syuviel]

Dear Mountainhomes,

It is with consternation that i write this letter. Despite having told you multiple times that we here at Merchantsacks cannot accomodate more than 200 dwarves, you have continued to send us more and more dwarves. Not particularly useful ones either. Our population is now roughly 310, 50 of which have now been sent to the Holey Magma Temple, as a sacrifice to Armok.
If this behavior continues, we may retaliate and cut off your endless supply of stone mugs, and further sacrifice of useless migrants.

[Corai]

Dear Kobolds
Please, just stay away, we're tired of chasing you off our lawn every day.  Next time we might just make it a !!Lawn!! 

Never.

Love, your favorite thief.

[Loud Whispers]

Dear Snugbo,

Where are your goblin friends? After the sudden death retirement of your ambush parties you seem reluctant to donate metal to Silentthunders. What's the wait?

Yours faithfully,
~Overseer.