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[billybobfred]

To: Urist McPossessed
CC: Unknown forces from beyond space and time
Re: That artifact

Is there a reason you built a statue of our manager and a book titled "The Truth about Doom"? Is there, perhaps, something you're trying to tell me?

[krenshala]

Dear Sus,

Please excuse the rush ... I'm in the middle of attemping to find the gneissest bolder over here, but ... did you happen to see any cat bone laying around?  Oh, and some silk ... yes, giant cave spider silk I think it was called.  Oh, and I'll need some llama wool yarn I think.  And some ... wait, is that a - a - a goblin?  Why did you lock him in here?!  HEY! Let me *OUCH*! HALP! HALP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!!

[empfan]

Dear Elves,

Thank you for being cooperative, as usual.  The mountainhomes still refuse to talk to me, so you and the drows are basically my only way to know about the outside world.  The mountainhomes can all die for all I care at this point, I got my golems and some weapons that you gave me...

From,
The Omnipresent Overseer

[Zio]

Dear Mason Guild

I know some of the jobs I have assigned to you seemed redundant or not so urgent, like the 60+ chair order when we were a fort of 20 dwarfs or the time I had you re-do that bridge four times, or just plain overkill like walling the inaccessible pit; but if there is a f***ing siege walking towards my dining hall and the only thing between them and us is a door I think you should hurry the hell up building the fortification I ordered there.

To the mason who actually tried getting the wall done

Great job, it would have been nicer if your damn dog hadn't been suspending my walls though, lesson learned thought no dogs for masons from the next fort on.

To the one who was above ground on the siege

It was your own damn fault that you died. You didn't had any reason to be above ground, you disobeyed the alert and ran to the wrong side.
I just wanted to let you know I laughed when you died.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mourning your loss,
Your Overlord AKA "the bastard who made a tunnel from the outside to the meeting area."

[Hanslanda]

Dear Urist McMoody,
Great job on the yak bone hammer, really beautiful. Now that you have legendary, maybe you should... You know... Make me some useful items?  Like a REAL weapon? Or possibly just jump off a cliff and die?  Either way, that'd be terrific.

Signed,
The Boss.

[ydaraishy]

Dear former migrants to Ambersalves:

Why, just why did you lot have to blithely walk through the cloud of zombifying vile vapour to get to our fort?  Now I'll probably lose at least five soldiers trying to put you out of your misery. Thanks for that. Bastards.

Good thing there's only three of you left now that you've killed all your friends.

Yours in hatred,
The Overseer

[Splint]

Dear work crews of Bronzeclapped

Get to fucking work, we need that damn built! I need to see if this means of fishing will work if carp or something show up!

Signed, your overseer.

[Corai]

Dear kobolds,


WHY. WHY IS IT EVERYTIME I TRY TO NOT KILL YOU, YOU COME AND AMBUSH ME?


Love, the person that just killed your faces.

[WillowLuman]

Dear all dwarves,

Y U No work on Mac?

[Jeoshua]

Mac isn't Dorfy enough.

Linux... now that's Dwarfy.

[WillowLuman]

Mac isn't Dorfy enough.

Linux... now that's Dwarfy.

Linux is for necromancers that can make a FATAL ERROR screen revert by gesturing.

[Jeoshua]

Damn skippy

[Reudh]

The nerd gestures!

Linux OS distro Debian shudders and begins to work!

[Garath]

Dear all dwarves,

Y U No work on Mac?

Y.. yak
U... humans

No work on Mac?
Yay, vacation

I don't really get the message though

yak human don't work on mac? got some problem with werebeasts?, or Y U don't work on mac? in that case it'se your keyboard, either the key for making capital letters or the keys itself, maybe you need to clean it a bit.

[Greiger]

To the undertakers.

Please put the body in the coffin before the teeth.  Somehow 6 of the masons teeth is enough to fill the thing up and now there is no room to fit the body.

To the carpenters,

Make bigger coffins.

"love",
The administration.