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[crazysheep]

Dear Masterwork Dwarfs
IF THE SKULL IS ON FIRE, RUN AWAY. Don't go pet it and watch as it sets the whole map, and you, on fire.

Seriously going to edit those buggers out pretty soon.

obligatory link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMMV_RoEMxE

Dear Urist McVampireMiner,
Stop slacking off and go finish digging out that ore tunnel. I know you don't need food or booze, but I want more steel to train up furnace operators. NOW.

Yours,
I know that you know that I know that you're a vampire.

[Meta The Golem]

dear uristmcblingbling

i know that these gems are worth alot being star rubies and all, but come on DO YOU really need to attach them adamantine clothing? i mean its worth more than your arm or leg, do you really want it worth more than YOUR SOUL?!?!

dear miners, keep digging your not done yet

[Mrhappyface]

Dear Cart Pushers,
Please stop kicking the cart over the bleeding, crippled dwarf lying on the tracks. It doesn't obey OSHA regulations.

[GoldenShadow]

Note to self. Make sure the recruits are wearing helmets before letting them wrestle. He left a bloody brain skidmark on the floor when another recruit tossed him.

Dear military recruit,
 I do appreciate your enthusiasm, but please limit yourself. Its still the first spring and you now have no one to train with.

[Splint]

So training wrestling is deadly without protection now? Sweet.

[lazygun]

Listen up, Dorfs! Stop sleeping in the hospital! I keep deconstructing an empty bed in the dormitory and building it in the hospital, and another one of you immediately comes and sleeps on it! All the while Urist McInjuredMiner (who somehow channeled a tile occupied by a wheelbarrow which fell on him) lies on the ground outside with two broken legs, and with no empty beds in the hospital, he's going to stay out there with no medical care.

And don't fill up the hospital storage with every single bucket in the entire fortress, even though I asked for only one to be stored there! Leaving none for bringing him water to drink! For Armok's sake, guys! Do you *all* have a grudge against him?

[empfan]

Dear Dwarves who somehow survived the Fall:
Why...the hell...WERE YOU SLEEPING ON THE BRIDGE, ALL 40 OF YOU?!

From,
the mountain homes who exiled you in shame

P.S. Please go die, that fort had more than 70% of our population, you doomed the last of your race.

[Bartinyou]

Dear Urist Mcmedicaldwarf,

I know you are having quite a chuckle at the soldier who got a compound fracture from training with his buddy, but you are the medical dwarf for a reason.  He has now gone a full year with out as much as a wound cleaning.  I know it might be quite frightening to see bones jutting out of a dwarf's arm, but judging by the skills you migrated with, it shouldn't be your first time.  Hopefully dwarven regeneration will make his bones go back inside of his arm, or else if he dies, you're going to find yourself demoted promoted to pushing carts.  We both know that 3 dwarfs have already been injured in that department.

[Meta The Golem]

dear urist mc bling for all

you SOMEHOW manage to put gems on shirts how you ever did that i don't want to know, just remember that those cloths are now worth more than all the souls combined in this god forsaken place, thanks to you for making me remember how worthless you all are

your overseer

[WillowLuman]

dear urist mc bling for all

you SOMEHOW manage to put gems on shirts how you ever did that i don't want to know, just remember that those cloths are now worth more than all the souls combined in this god forsaken place, thanks to you for making me remember how worthless you all are

your overseer

He probably used this

[Meta The Golem]

dear immigrants, please keep your dirty mud covered shoes off the adamantine and use the alt entrance, thank you for your consideration of not screwing with the equivalent of streets paved with gold

[Splint]

Dear migrants

Welcome to.... Urist what's this place called? Caveville? No? oh.... Axestirred? Should be more like gorlak infested hell pit.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy your stay while me prepare to delve deeper. We apologize for our poor accomodations, but we've been suffering a number of mishaps...

Sazir! Stop throwing dogs and barrels around!
Damn it! Now the mechanic's melancholic....

Anyway, welcome to you tomb.
Overseer.

[Karakzon]

Dear Urist

You know the waterfall peters off near the edge yes? Yes? good. This does not, and let me make this abundantly clear, NOT, mean you can walk through this area safely. As the 20 or so corpses at the bottom of the fall and the last 3 years caravans debris will attest to.

Please DO NOT cross the river.

Karakon, your benevolent overseer.
Remember, happiness is eternal, those unhappy will be purged.

[MechaGodzilla]

Dear Goblins,

Your business is very important to us, and we thank you for your continued support to our economy. We apologize for the inconvenience but Gravesabres is closed for renovations.

Please find enclosed coupons for free magma baths.

Thank you and come again.
-The Overseer

P.S. If you would be so kind, please stop torturing that poor human trader that you found. The screams are very distracting.

[Flying Fortress]

Dear Uristmcnap

Though the rails look like a nice place to curl up and fall asleep, both you and me don't like when the minecart gets pushed into your skull 10+ times.  So please avoid the rails, and the metal carts that fly down them at break neck speeds (literally) so I stop having to clean up Uristmcidiot smears.

Your humble overseer