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[Reudh]

Dude, mayor, man, I totally know how you like hamsters. So check the interior decoration I did!

[skywerewolf]

dear uirst mcdipshit

STOP DYING FROM JUMPS LESS THAN 5 Z-LEVELS AND USE YOUR BRIAN WHEN CHANNELING!

love, your ruller.

dear urist mcdumbass

the door goes right there, m'kay? make sure it closes as well.

[Reudh]

Someone called? My name's Brian, master miner extraordinare!

[crazysheep]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dear Urist McMayor,
  We all have our peeves and pests, but... hamsters? Really?

Dear Urist McEngraver,
  ...Hamsters? Really?
Seriously, since you became legendary you have engraved things involving hamsters almost exclusively.
McMayor surrounded by hamsters. McMayor pleading before hamsters. Terrified by hamsters. Making a plaintive gesture in front of hamsters. Being attacked by hamsters. Or just hamsters on their own, but this was in his office. His walls are now made of hamster.

Although, when he demanded tables, and you immediately saw fit to go into a mood and created an artifact table featuring--guess what?--a hamster, I applaud your timing. And then immediately running up and engraving the wall of his office with an image of the time he got his arm broke? Classic.

I understand you must have beef, but you've made your point. Let off on that high note.

Hamsters are vermin ingame y'know..

Dear Deus Machina,
But.. but.. think about all the cute and fluffy balls of fur hamsters are! They bring joy and fun to so many people!

Sincerely, Urist McEngraver

[bukitodinos]

Dear idoits

WHY AREN'T YOU STOREING THE FOOD AND STUFF WE RECLAIMED INTO THE BINS A BARRELS THAT WE MADE???

(i reclaimed my fort and they are just putting everything into the stockpile without a barrel.)

Insanely yours

Buckit

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear bearded midgets of Reksasineth (SinCity):

As we near our fourth year in the desert we've made great progress on the soon-to-be gambling and vice capitol of the world. The steel block perimeter wall is done except for the entrance and the grid of dacite block streets is coming along nicely. You're all pretty happy to live in an open air pavilion in a desert eating replicated food while working constant overtime hours laying out the roads. Soon enough we'll have the first permanent buildings up and actually start looking like a city.

However, the levels of unauthorized reproduction are alarming. While we can always use more laborers, we have migrants who work today, not in twelve years for that. Children only eat and drink up our, albeit infinite, food supplies while doing nothing to contribute to the fort. Please stop popping out useless babies until the city is more developed.

Yours,
Vegas Vic, Overseer of Reksasineth

Dear Urist McGamer,
Please respect our personal choices of vice.
Sincerely,
Urists McLoveMakers.

[tahujdt]

dear uirst mcdipshit

USE YOUR BRIAN WHEN CHANNELING!

My dad is named Brian, I would not mind using him for digging...

[Karranir]

Dear Urist McLegendaryGemSetter:

STOP SETTING GEMS INTO THIS LARGE LAVENDER JADE. YOU GUYS JUST MAKE THE SAME IMAGES OF A BEAR AND SPITESELLER THE SASQUATCH GETTING KILLED IN THE 'COOPERATIVE FORESTS'. COOPERATIVE?!

[Hanslanda]

Dear Urist McTrader,
Seriously dude, your guards killed EVERYTHING.  They're badasses, they wiped the goblins out.  Just... Just F***ing TRADE WITH ME YOU DOUCHE.

Sincerely,
Angry Volcano God.

[Monk321654]

Dear Urist McTrader,
Seriously dude, your guards killed EVERYTHING.  They're badasses, they wiped the goblins out.  Just... Just F***ing TRADE WITH ME YOU DOUCHE.

Sincerely,
Angry Volcano God.

Dear Angry Volcano God,
No way, my friend! There could be more of them, MORE! We must stay vigilant! We must protect the useless crafts!

[Karranir]

Dear UristMcGemSetter,

Did you really have to decorate all the crappy crutches with amethysts and rubies and other high end stuff?

I hate you so much.

[WillowLuman]

Dear Urist McSeigeoperator

What are you doing wrong? We're basically shooting entire tree trunks tipped with metal at the bastards, and they're just laughing it off!! These projectiles used to annihilate everything in their path, whats wrong now!?

Sincerely, Your God who is not Just a Human with a Beard Stapled On.

[Eric Blank]

Dear Urist McVampire

Please, eat the infants and younger children, not the woodworkers. Thank you.

Sincerely, the Overseer.

[Reudh]

To Urist McChild:


Ignoring a burrow order and continuing to attempt to pick up a dead goblin's loincloth is not a good idea when we're under siege.

Oh, look... you have an arrow in your eye.

And your father just sealed you out of the fort...
Good Armok, that's harsh.

Your slightly disgusted overseer,

Reudh.

[Tsuchigumo550]

Dear Masterwork Dwarfs
IF THE SKULL IS ON FIRE, RUN AWAY. Don't go pet it and watch as it sets the whole map, and you, on fire.

Seriously going to edit those buggers out pretty soon.