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[GreatWyrmGold]

Not as interesting as weapons-grade potash.

...

I'm modding in potash ammo.

[Garath]

napalm

[FlickerFly]

Dear Mayor,
Thank you for ending your ban on the export of amulets.
Please don't do that again.
-Me.

*five seconds later*

I hate you.

Also,

Dear Merchants,
There are goblins outside.
DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR.
-Me.

And finally,

Dear Dwarves,
So you just had a baby.
I don't care.
-Me.

[Corai]

Dear mayor,



This is the first few years of the fort, we have no adamantite. Shut up.

Love, your Overlord.

[WillowLuman]

Dear mayor,



This is the first few years of the fort, we have no adamantite. Shut up.

Love, your Overlord.

Suggest you relax him in a !!hot tub!!

*wink*

[GoldenShadow]

Dear moody peasant,

You claimed a Magma forge and are a dabbling weaponsmith. I was excited.
Then you grabbed an adamantine wafer. I was thrilled.
Then you made it into a war hammer. I was enraged.

So now you will make bolts /R

[Corai]

Dear moody peasant,

You claimed a Magma forge and are a dabbling weaponsmith. I was excited.
Then you grabbed an adamantine wafer. I was thrilled.
Then you made it into a war hammer. I was enraged.

So now you will make bolts /R

Owned.




Dear Overseer,

Its for my girlfriend, the hammerer. Dont make me your bolt-slave!


Love, no longer moody peasant.

[CandyOreVein]

Dear dorfs,

PLEASE FUCKING DIE OH MY GOD I HATE YOU ALL.AAAAAAAAAAAGH I WILL KILL YOU ALL IN MAGMA!!!!! YOUR FUCKING TELLING ME YOU CAN'T TRANSFER A BEAST IN-BETWEEN CAGES WITHOUT RELEASEING IT.!!!!!!! I WANT YOU ALL DEAD!

With hate, your pissed off overseer.

[WillowLuman]

Don't worry, the beast will take care of that.

[CandyOreVein]

Yeah. A captured dragon will DEFINATELY kill them all. It was a bitch to bait it into a webbed trap.

I am constantly amazed. Not by the stupidity, but the creativeness of the dumbness of my dwarfs.

[Sus]

Dear Marksdwarves,

You will notice that the battlement you're stationed on is surrounded by fortifications. They are there for a reason:
You're supposed to stand next to them, shooting bolts at the goblins outside, not hang out in the middle of the damn room!
I even instructed each one of you, individually, to stand on a particular tile next to the fortification, but apparently you're too daft to understand big words like "stand", "here", "and", or "shoot".

Well, this is a moot point anyway, since I redesigned the battlement so there's just a 1-wide circular corridor with fortifications on either side...
Now get in there and do your damn job! 


- Your Very Annoyed Overseer

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The battlement before:

Code: [Select]

FFFFFFF
F+++++F
F+++++F
F+++++F
F+++++F
etc.
and after:

Code: [Select]

FFFFFFF
F+++++F
F+FFF+F
F+F F+F
F+F F+F

where
F = fortification
+ = floor
   = empty space

The empty space in the center is above my main entrance, so now they can fire down there as well. A major improvement over the previous design, even without having to design for dwarven stupidity.
The down side is that the new design doesn't have room for an ammo stockpile in the middle, but then again, the morons probably couldn't use it properly anyway...

[Morpha]

Dear mayor of Granitepulls.

You have always been my favourite since you and your friend survived the deaths of the other 68 dwarves in the Great Tantrum Spiral of 07 caused by a clumsy miner falling through the ceiling (hence your name "the survivor"). This does not mean you can demand a ZINC BED in the dining room. I don't know who told you about the masterwork mod, but I assure you we do not have it installed. Enjoy demanding impossible crap, I shall continue ignoring it. When you feel like being sensible then we can continue our friendship.

Yours sincerely,

That voice slowly losing it's patience.

[Lielac]

Dear dwarves of Wordshame,

Which of you is a friendless, skillless orphan?

Question totally unrelated to the checkerboard I'm creating in the deeps,
Overseer Lielac

P.S.: Hurry up with hooking the hatches to the magma lever!

[ThatAussieGuy]

Dear dwarves of Wordshame,

Which of you is a friendless, skillless orphan?

Question totally unrelated to the checkerboard I'm creating in the deeps,
Overseer Lielac

P.S.: Hurry up with hooking the hatches to the magma lever!

Dear Overseer;

Don't forget to make sure there's an empty layer between the z-level with the top of the board (the one with all the floor grates) and the level the liquids are poured from.  It's a common mistake with the blueprints

Sincerely;

Engineering Consultant TAG.

[Fenrisson]

Dear moody peasant,

You claimed a Magma forge and are a dabbling weaponsmith. I was excited.
Then you grabbed an adamantine wafer. I was thrilled.
Then you made it into a war hammer. I was enraged.

So now you will make bolts /R

Owned.




Dear Overseer,

Its for my girlfriend, the hammerer. Dont make me your bolt-slave!


Love, no longer moody peasant.

Perfect for your hammerer - see the positive side you now have a legendary weaponsmith he can repay his insulence by making masterful Candy-Axes - to be chopped into pieces by them !!!