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[Reudh]

To the dwarves of Sabreheals and New Sabreheals:

I'm surprised you're all so happy given we have NO food.

Keep up the morale guys, the farmers will have a great haul soon!

-Reudh

[LoSboccacc]

to:

squaddies and bros all alike

please,

I know there is this nice sword just detached from an enemy goblin by a sword, but it's no reason to leave training and more so is not a reason to go pick it up, specially as it lies out of the currently assigned burrow

[ThatAussieGuy]

To the (remaining) dwarves of Inchcanyon;

Congratulations, you tantrummed and beserked from 230-odd dwarves to an even 40 in the span of a year.  A new personal best.  When the remainder of you are finished clearing the corpses away, please get to work on building coffins and megaproject tasks.

Sincerely;

The Overlordseer

[krg]

Dear Worldgen,

This is in regards to my fine fortress that I am running currently.

Why is cavern layer two located roughly at level 8, cavern layer 3 is at roughly level -10 and I didn't hit SMR until level -23?
I seriously would like to have a good source of magma around here somewhere, hopefully i will find it, but I don't have much hope for that. Anyway, when genning a random world, volcanoes are very welcome.

The one that tells you what to do, (to an extent)
Krg

[Deus Machina]

Dear Urist McBadMarksdwarf,

I told your squad to go attack the wild bunnies as target practice. So you can guess why I'm a little nonplussed when I find that 1) you attempted to beat them instead, 2) you failed to beat them, and 3) you now have a leg bending the wrong direction and your teeth scattered across the countryside.

The reports from your squadmates indicate that you rushed up to the rabbit, took a single clumsy grab at it (probably proclaiming "PET THE BUNNY!"), and got yourself kicked four times in quick succession.

Heal up, then get out there for more 'target' practice. I just hope you don't enjoy the local population of badgers as much.

[Jake]

Dear Urist McBadMarksdwarf,

I told your squad to go attack the wild bunnies as target practice. So you can guess why I'm a little nonplussed when I find that 1) you attempted to beat them instead, 2) you failed to beat them, and 3) you now have a leg bending the wrong direction and your teeth scattered across the countryside.

The reports from your squadmates indicate that you rushed up to the rabbit, took a single clumsy grab at it (probably proclaiming "PET THE BUNNY!"), and got yourself kicked four times in quick succession.

Heal up, then get out there for more 'target' practice. I just hope you don't enjoy the local population of badgers as much.

"Come back here, you cowards! Dorfs aren't dangerous!" (A masterwork adamantine mace to anyone who gets this reference.)

[Callista]

"Come back here, you cowards! Dorfs aren't dangerous!" (A masterwork adamantine mace to anyone who gets this reference.)

Watership Down.

Dear Various dead and/or wounded Urists who fell off the scaffolding when I forgot that causing cave-ins on a higher level causes effects on lower levels:

Oops, my bad.

Sincerely,
Your Overseer.

P.S. No tantrum spiral? Please?

[Manae]

Dear Overseer Callista:

Some masterfully engraved and tastefully arranged slabs with some time off to stare at 'em and we'll see.

Sincerely,
Survivors

[Count Dorku]

Dear stonecrafter:

I realise that, due to the necessity of a solid defensive layout, you were annoyed to spend so long outside before I managed to get far enough inside to begin building bedrooms, chairs or tables. Similarly, I realise that the theft of a masterwork mug must have been frustrating after all the time you spent on it.

But why in the name of all that's holy did you throw a tantrum and kick the chicken over it? You're just lucky you didn't deal any harm to our supply of precious, precious eggs and, in a year or three, butcherable full-grown chickens.

Yours sincerely,
Overseer Dorku

[+!!scientist!!+]

Dear dwarves,

If you're so frustrated about how our meat stockpile disapears in two minutes and about our drink stockpile doing the same thing, don't make a new mouth to feed every 10 seconds!

Scincerly, overseer apperantly in need of a daycare center/execution room.

Edit: A dwarf actually named Urist just gave birth to a girl, that makes 4 in the last month.

[ObeseHelmet]

Dear Potash Maker:

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE THE SECRETIVE DWARF?

Now I'm going to have a LEGENDARY FREAKING POTASH MAKER and a useless artifact to boot?

Go to hell.

~Your Loving Overseer

(edit: At least he appears to be using a cat to complete his construction. That is however only a small redeeming factor.)

[krg]

Dear Urist McLowLevelMiner,

You are digging through an area with SMR surrounding it, you dont need to tell me the stone is warm every few squares. Of course it is warm, IT'S SEMI MOLTEN!!

Now, if you find wet stone, maybe. Cold stone, definitely let me know. Till then, shut up.

Krg

[ObeseHelmet]

Dear Potash Maker:

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE THE SECRETIVE DWARF?

Now I'm going to have a LEGENDARY FREAKING POTASH MAKER and a useless artifact to boot?

Go to hell.

~Your Loving Overseer

(edit: At least he appears to be using a cat to complete his construction. That is however only a small redeeming factor.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And he's now a legendary stone crafter, not potash maker. Whew.

He sure likes quartzite though.

[Garath]

potash making isn't a moodable skill and he'd resort to one of the crafts instead

[Vorthon]

It'd be hilarious if it was, though. Artifact-grade potash would certainly be interesting.