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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1500708 times)

SRD

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3390 on: April 20, 2012, 11:37:33 pm »
It's obviously under one of the tablelegs to keep it balanced..
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Quote from: LoneTophat
EDIT: HOW DO I STOP THE BLEEDING!
SUPEREDIT: Nevermind. Bled to death ._.

Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3391 on: April 20, 2012, 11:41:05 pm »
Dear food industry workers,

Y U no work?!  >:(

- Your Annoyed Overseer & A Lot Of Tantruming Dorfs
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Quote from: Moogie on February 08, 2012, 06:23:42 am
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
Quote from: SuicideJunkie on May 02, 2012, 11:47:40 pm
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3392 on: April 20, 2012, 11:49:14 pm »
Quote from: Sus on April 20, 2012, 11:41:05 pm
Dear food industry workers,

Y U no work?!  >:(

- Your Annoyed Overseer & A Lot Of Tantruming Dorfs
Big red lever time?
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3393 on: April 20, 2012, 11:51:53 pm »
Dear miners,


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Love, your overseer who HATES seeing miners sleeping.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

krg

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3394 on: April 21, 2012, 10:32:16 am »
Quote from: Garath on April 19, 2012, 05:04:22 pm
Strange name for a dwarf, linksys, has a nice sound to it though.

Jake, there is a general discussion and lotsa other forums and subforums to vent your frustration about your software, hardware and whatever. This is "your frustration about stupid dwarf AI" thread. Unless you can prove that the company is run by dwarves, or that the technology is dwarf made, take it elsewhere.

what if the company is run by elves? given some issues I have had with linksys products, I wouldn't be surprised.
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Why else would they come and 'kidnap' them?
Quote from: Shurhaian on August 09, 2010, 02:48:21 am
Child Protection Services would go into apoplexy get murdered with MAGMA if they found themselves inside DF.
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Andux

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3395 on: April 21, 2012, 01:14:11 pm »
Dear Urists McUnfriendlyGhosts,

Y U HATE MY MEDICS? >:(

Sincerely,
Your Exasperated Overlord

P.S. What are you using to batter these guys, anyway? A chainsaw?

Seriously, my last chief medical dwarf bled to death after being disemboweled by a ghost ~5 minutes after I appointed him; the one before that was left with just one arm and one leg after two separate attacks.

If only I could draft ghosts into my military....
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Garath

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3396 on: April 21, 2012, 02:24:15 pm »
Quote from: Andux on April 21, 2012, 01:14:11 pm
Dear Urists McUnfriendlyGhosts,

Y U HATE MY MEDICS? >:(

Sincerely,
Your Exasperated Overlord

P.S. What are you using to batter these guys, anyway? A chainsaw?

Seriously, my last chief medical dwarf bled to death after being disemboweled by a ghost ~5 minutes after I appointed him; the one before that was left with just one arm and one leg after two separate attacks.

If only I could draft ghosts into my military....

Unfriendly ghost ponders... Y... hm, a letter, but no meaning. U... human? nah. Hate my medics? Well, alright, because you ask so nicely. "Is there a docter here? Yes? Prepare for mutilation, as requested by your boss!"
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Lielac

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3397 on: April 22, 2012, 01:15:46 am »
TO: potential crafter-mooders of Relicdreams
FROM: Overseer Lielac
RE: Craftdwarf moods

There is a perfectly good craftdorf's workshop on the main workshop level. Please do not use the workshop by the trade depot, as that is exclusively for the creation of mugs to be foisted off on the caravans. I know the last two mooders (and only two) used that workshop, but I wish they hadn't. Your mood interrupts any jobs being done in that workshop, and I like having craft mugs on repeat.

Thank you.

TO: Creator of Wealthrampages, a rubber wood earring
FROM: Overseer Lielac
RE: F**king useless artifacts worth only 7200 dorfbucks

Be glad I don't feel like throwing you in the magma, you useless waste of booze. I need every dwarf I can get to finish my pyramid in a decent amount of time.
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Lielac likes adamantine, magnetite, marble, the color olive green, battle axes, cats for their aloofness, dragons for their terrible majesty, women for their beauty, and the Oxford comma for its disambiguating properties. When possible, she prefers to consume pear cider and nectarines. She absolutely detests kobolds.

ObeseHelmet

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3398 on: April 22, 2012, 11:58:07 am »
Dear Goat:

Get the heck off the square of ground where I am trying to construct a wall. I know you don't understand English, but the ten drunken dwarves yelling obscenities at you until their beards fall off haven't influenced you yet, so I thought I might try a letter.

--Overseer
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Greiger

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3399 on: April 22, 2012, 01:32:05 pm »
Dear Overseer,

Your letter was tasty.  Please send more.

- Goat
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Meta The Golem

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3400 on: April 22, 2012, 04:16:08 pm »
dear uritsts and mcpersons of where ever, we are going to be enabling pay soon, please keep building the wall and ceiling to the fortress while the copper is mined out

sinclerly the overseer
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Urist_McUristson

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3401 on: April 22, 2012, 07:06:22 pm »
Dear Miners,

Yes, I am aware that you found damp stone. Just like the other 20 tiles of damp stone you found. This is most likely because you are under a pond. So do me a favor, and STOP PAUSING TO TELL ME EVERY OTHER SECOND.

Sincerly, your Overseer.
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Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3402 on: April 22, 2012, 07:07:02 pm »
Dear elves,

Stop bringing unicorns to your sieges.

Love, overseer
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3403 on: April 22, 2012, 07:59:43 pm »
Dear Supernatural Force currently possessing our mayor/broker,

Did you really have to make him go apeshit during a meeting with the liaison? I'm afraid having a meeting end with the Mayor's eyes rolling back and him starting to speak in tongues and demand cloth and gems from everybody within earshot is going to look bad in the reports.

Not to mention that the caravan just left, and we have no cloth (plant) nor the means to produce any.

Seriously, why do you hate us so?  :(

- the nonplussed dwarves of Metalbrains

P.S. I guess his claiming a metalsmith's forge would be kind of cool, had we the means to fulfill his mood...
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Quote from: Moogie on February 08, 2012, 06:23:42 am
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
Quote from: SuicideJunkie on May 02, 2012, 11:47:40 pm
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Garath

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3404 on: April 22, 2012, 08:01:22 pm »
you don't start pig tail growing asap to keep the moody midgets clothed?
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.
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