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[GoldenShadow]

The Elfs don't like when we chop down soap now?

[WillowLuman]

Dear Haulers Union

Remember when I said to move that dead body 2 YEARS AGO!? Well, it's still blocking the door, right as the vile force of darkness has arrived. In fact, for a week after it has arrived. They are in our dining hall. There is no way out. The door is NOT shut. I'm gonna pull my private lever now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sincerely, your former Mayor.

[Ant]

Dear Lorbam,

Despite the fact that you were an ELITE crossbowdwarf and all that, there are three things that you should had taken into consideration;

1. You had station orders 3z-levels above the main drawbridge, where your squadmates were waiting. Sure, you had spent your bolts already, but the tower stores had plenty.
2. You were a mother with infant. Sadly, she didn't make it either, mainly because you dropped her smack middle the drawbridge's lowering point (aka "atomsmashing spot"). Maybe your next incarnation has the sense of not running at the bridge WHEN IT IS BEING RAISED.
3. The shield is not the optimal weapon against even goblins. Really. Your squad was armed with STEEL short swords and even copper crossbows, for Armok's sake! Did you really need your baby so much you didn't bother to carry either with her?

Inarguably, you did do quite good with your shield... But still, this sort of "gung-ho" attitude usually only causes extra work for the mason's guild and - hey, actually, they have been slacking lately!

Yrs,
Overseer

[ThatAussieGuy]

To the children of Stafffilled;

Stop tantrumming and going beserk.  The militia's getting bored with killing you and it's upsetting the productive members of the fortress


Sincerely;  The Overlordseer

[Eric Blank]

Dear Lorbam,

~~~

Yrs,
Overseer

Dear Overseer Ant.

Legendary misc. object users with copper shields are actually extremely effective in melee combat, as they use their rather heavy copper shields to bash goblin skulls in. You should try it sometime.

Sincerely, the ghost of Lorbam the Elite Crossbowdwarf.

P.S; In all seriousness it is. You just need to properly train them first.

[Cobaldunderpants]

Dear Urist Axelord

While we don't imagine that those =adamantine greaves= are the most comfortable choice in clothing we did make them for you so the Titans and Forgotten Beasts of our magical world would not cut your lower appendages in twain. Please, pick them up from your room and put them on. Its only for your own good.

-Management

[JackOSpades]

Dear Urist McNecromancerdwarf While we here at the fortress of Rusted Harmony Applaud your Interest in Migrating to our fortress after only two years of construction we would rather you had left your 100+ Life challenged friends at home.

[jaxy15]

Dear law enforcers of talkedgravel,

The potter attacked the mayor and a few other dwarves and broke a child's leg. Why does she get off scott free?!

Sincerely, a curious overseer.

[SRD]

Dear Haulers Union

Remember when I said to move that dead body 2 YEARS AGO!? Well, it's still blocking the door, right as the vile force of darkness has arrived. In fact, for a week after it has arrived. They are in our dining hall. There is no way out. The door is NOT shut. I'm gonna pull my private lever now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sincerely, your former Mayor.

Btw when things are jammed in your door you have to deconstruct the door to move those items.. Imagine the guys arm being caught under the door.

[KodKod]

Dear Urist McMilitiaCommander,

How long does it take you to kill a horse? It’s a horse; it’s only one bloody horse! You and the entire military which consists of a good chunk of the population have been out chasing that horse  for three seasons now, and you know full well that the ‘siege’ won’t end til it’s dead, that means no supply caravans, no migrants. Need I remind you that we’re running low on booze?

Would it kill you to try and corner it rather than chase after it eternally one by one in some sort of twisted parade? Even the marksdwarves have had no effect on this devil-beast. Start throwing rocks at it or something, anything, I don’t care. Just end its life before we all die of thirst.

[Oliolli]

Dear Urist McMilitiaCommander,

How long does it take you to kill a horse? It’s a horse; it’s only one bloody horse! You and the entire military which consists of a good chunk of the population have been out chasing that horse  for three seasons now, and you know full well that the ‘siege’ won’t end til it’s dead, that means no supply caravans, no migrants. Need I remind you that we’re running low on booze?

Would it kill you to try and corner it rather than chase after it eternally one by one in some sort of twisted parade? Even the marksdwarves have had no effect on this devil-beast. Start throwing rocks at it or something, anything, I don’t care. Just end its life before we all die of thirst.

"Urist McThirsty cancels drink: out of booze"
"The horse has been struck down!"
"Some migrants have arrived"

[KodKod]

"The horse has been struck down!"

Impossible. Horse cannot die. Horse watched over this world whilst the dwarven race was still young. Horse will be present when the last dwarf draws their final breath. Horse more abstract concept than flesh and blood.

Horse is eternal.

[SRD]

"The horse has been struck down!"

Impossible. Horse cannot die. Horse watched over this world whilst the dwarven race was still young. Horse will be present when the last dwarf draws their final breath. Horse more abstract concept than flesh and blood.

Horse is eternal.

My elves come with horses and I just send my chief hammerdwarf to kill them.. he's fast enough to chase down and kill them within 10 seconds.

[Morpha]

Dear Chief Medical Dwarf, please go tend to my last legendary miner, we need to continue digging out our fortress and the poor dwarf lost her leg fighting off a were lizard which killed the other legendary miner. You have a whole team who can deal with the wound, JUST GO DIAGNO- *Urist McDoctor has withdrawn from society*

Dear Urist Mclegendary Miner. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the one dwarf with diagnostic ability out of a fortress of 92 has decided now is the best time to ignore all current duties and work on a pet project of his. All the best in the next world, it can hardly be worse than leaking blood through the entire fortress while everyone watches.

*Urist Mclegendary Miner has died from loss of blood*

[SRD]

Dear Chief Medical Dwarf, please go tend to my last legendary miner, we need to continue digging out our fortress and the poor dwarf lost her leg fighting off a were lizard which killed the other legendary miner. You have a whole team who can deal with the wound, JUST GO DIAGNO- *Urist McDoctor has withdrawn from society*

Dear Urist Mclegendary Miner. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the one dwarf with diagnostic ability out of a fortress of 92 has decided now is the best time to ignore all current duties and work on a pet project of his. All the best in the next world, it can hardly be worse than leaking blood through the entire fortress while everyone watches.

*Urist Mclegendary Miner has died from loss of blood*

Any dwarf can diagnose, and even if the diagnosis is wrong they will usually still stop the blood loss.