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[Sus]

It has been brought to my attention that I was mistaken concerning your gender. Your files clearly show you as being a male dwarf. Please explain why you are wearing a flaming dress, which is flaming because it is actually on fire, and not a more gender appropriate tunic. We can't afford having dwarves practice alternative lifestyles while the race teeters on the brink of extinction. Put the hot dress down, and find a girlfriend ASAP.

*insert horrible pun about flaming gay here* 

[ThatAussieGuy]

To the Dwarves of Stafffilled;

You can call off the Siege alert.  All the zombies are either in cages or in pieces.  The only roaming undead are the ghosts.

Sincerely; The Overlordseer

[Kumis]

Dear Urist McSiegeOperator

You're my only siege operator; I know it was you who killed that child.
I know the ballista was set to 'fire at will', that was a mistake, but it doesn't give you the right to go shooting children.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

Yours,
Astonished.

[Garath]

I'm sure he thought it was a goblin.

____

Dear Urist,

I said do not pull the lever. Which part did you not understand. The wounds were only light and a good practice for the docters, but it was not truly apreciated.

Sincerely,

[Tolisk]

Dear Urist McBoxingChamp

What part of stop hitting McAnnoying do you not understand?

  Sincerely,
    The guy upstairs.

[Meta The Golem]

dear clear oils (aka my small military)

i saw that goddamned were-goat here before the human caravan came, were the fuck is it? i want its god dammed SKULL on my desk before next year or i swear i will lock you in a new room made just for you


sincerely your very scared and pissed off overlord

PS masons, i hope you plan on making that water pit a non water pit or else the military will see you in hell

[malroth]

Dear Astonished

The child had a nametag labeled "Will" so I fired On him.

Signed
Ursit Mc only following orders. Siege Operator

[Greiger]

To Executioner

I'm sure those two vampires will be able to serve their 201 day prison sentence AFTER you apply those 50 "hammer" strikes.  Get to chopping limbs,  I have the artifact greatsword Severmastered in it's own mini stockpile in the jail and you are set to use sword skill for executions.  Chop chop.

The Administration

P.S. I wanna see chunks dammit, that was our best mason.

[Corai]

Dear nobles,


No, go away.

[Jake]

Dear Urist McSiegeOperator

You're my only siege operator; I know it was you who killed that child.
I know the ballista was set to 'fire at will', that was a mistake, but it doesn't give you the right to go shooting children.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

Yours,
Astonished.

You entrusted a crew-served siege weapon to an absent-minded bipolar alcoholic and shouted "Fire at Will!". What did you think was going to happen?

[mikelon]

Dear Military

When the bronze collosus showed up I ordered you to amass outside the gates
That you did, for about 10 seconds before 10 of you ran inside to get a bite to eat, and another 6 went to go get a drink.
I understand that we havent issued you backpacks or waterskins yet, however, i think you could have waited till after the bronze collosus fight to get some chow.

Needless to say, were all dead, except the vampire.

Your ghostly Overseer

[Eric Blank]

Dear Urist McSiegeOperator

You're my only siege operator; I know it was you who killed that child.
I know the ballista was set to 'fire at will', that was a mistake, but it doesn't give you the right to go shooting children.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

Yours,
Astonished.

You entrusted a crew-served siege weapon to an absent-minded bipolar alcoholic and shouted "Fire at Will!". What did you think was going to happen?

One of my dwarves shot her own daughter once while the kid was standing in front of the ballista. Needless to say, the kid didn't last very long with most of her lower body missing...

[Kumis]

Dear Urist McSiegeOperator

You're my only siege operator; I know it was you who killed that child.
I know the ballista was set to 'fire at will', that was a mistake, but it doesn't give you the right to go shooting children.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

Yours,
Astonished.

You entrusted a crew-served siege weapon to an absent-minded bipolar alcoholic and shouted "Fire at Will!". What did you think was going to happen?

One of my dwarves shot her own daughter once while the kid was standing in front of the ballista. Needless to say, the kid didn't last very long with most of her lower body missing...

Although fire at will usually implies in the general direction of a viable enemy I really hope Toady never changes this.

[Sus]

I know the ballista was set to 'fire at will', that was a mistake, but it doesn't give you the right to go shooting children.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

Not sure if child
☺
or Fire Snake in disguise

[Lagslayer]

Considering fire snakes are vermin, no dwarf would take aim at it. Apparently, the siege operator wanted to give babysplosion a new meaning.