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[Eric Blank]

Dear Urists McWomen

Stop making so many babbys. You have formed enough babbys. You do not need more babbys.

Sincerely, Overseer Blank


Dear Marksdwarves

Good job shooting things. Train more. Save some for the melee troops.

Sincerely, Overseer Blank

[WillowLuman]

Dear Urists McWomen

Stop making so many babbys. You have formed enough babbys. You do not need more babbys.

Sincerely, Overseer Blank


Dear Marksdwarves

Good job shooting things. Train more. Save some for the melee troops.

Sincerely, Overseer Blank

Good overseer,
I am sorry, but I do not know how to prevent the babbys from happening. We would if we could. Me and my husband talked concernedly about it while bedding together last night. We hope to find out what keeps causing the pregnancies and put a stop to it.
Sincerely, Bomrek McDwarf

PS: Maybe sleeping with my husband more will cure it!

[Vgray]

Dear Mountainhome.

Where is that bloody caravan? Did her highness decide that we're not worth it?


- Overseer of the Fortress Umidsodel.

[psychologicalshock]

Dear Dang,
You're a Troll and we don't take kindly to your kind around here, good luck in  the cave and tell the fury poisonous hadrosaur FB that  I said hi.
-Overseer

[racnor]

Dear Urist mcwizardghost
            Your frustration is understandable. You arrived at the fortress you thought would be your new beginning to find that the seven founders had walled themselves in for protection against the ravenous dust husk wizards, and that they had recently been cleaned by rain was probably a cold comfort. I truly admired the bravery you displayed in your futile duel with no less than three of those indestructible monstrosities, and had a ordered a truly beautiful slab for you.
          I too would have been enraged to hear that my memorial had been postponed for a wedding reception, even that of the two founding landshapers, but the entire population was absolutely miserable, and we decided that they needed some cheering up. Under these circumstances, it may have been more more reasonable to wait until after the party to manifest upon the table and obliterate the groom, causing the bride to spontaneously test out her excavation wand on the engraver's torso (It worked). We hereby apologize for the further delay on the slab.

Signed,
The four terrified remaining wizards

[ObeseHelmet]

Dear All Dwarves In the Fortress:

Stop having children.



I will not stop the babysnatchers this time. Let 'em come.

--Overseer

[Eric Blank]

Dear Urist McIdiotFarmer.

Stop chasing that ranger around with a bucket of water. He is not thristy; he just chugged a gallon of ale. You have a lower agility score than him and will never catch up. Just put the bucket down and go do some actual work.

Sincerely; the Overseer of Battlestruck



Dear Urist McEveryone.

Stop giving the soldiers water when they're already at the booze stockpiles getting wasted. No alcohol is too strong for your goblin-stabbing comrades, so it does not need watered down. Please go process more plants into fabric. We need more fabric. Plant some rope reed while you're at it. We just got some seeds and the pig tails just aren't enough.

Sincerely, the Overseer of Battlestruck



Dear Stoneworkers

Learn how to swim/climb up ramps whilst underwater or stop falling in the aquifer. How the hell do you even manage to do that?

This Towards Zero Deaths message brought to you by the Overseer of Battlestruck


Dear Militia

Stop being on fire. It's bad for your Health.

Sincerely, the Overseer of Battlestruck

[Casp]

Dear Urist McMerchant,

The next time you start bitching at me because I refuse to give you all my worldy goods in return for the box of plump helmet spawn we need so that our wives and children will not starve in the cole darkness of winter, I will feed you to a badger.

Sincerely,
The overseer of EmeraldTower

[bukitodinos]

Stop being on fire. It's bad for your Health

sigged

[Corai]

Dear Migrants,

No, go away.

Hate, Overseer

Dear Kobolds,

Yes, come in.

Love, Overseer.

[WillowLuman]

Dear Husks

Here is a goat. Yes, follow it like good little zombies. Follow the tasty, delicious goat. That's right keep on coming. Right down that tunnel. Don't mind the pressure plates. Soon you will get your delicious goat. Yes, it's so exciting that you can't see the orange light behind you and hear the water rushing over head! Ignore them, they are just distractions from your tasty prize!

Dear goat

Good job, I suggest you REALLY start running now!

[ThatAussieGuy]

Dear Aditha Anayawara, Forgotten Beast.

How the CIRCUS did you get into my fort when the caverns are sealed off?  I've checked every place the caverns intersect with the fortress tunnels and there's no way in. 

Sincerely;  The Confused Overseer of Stafffiled.

Dear Dwarves of Stafffiled;

Would someone please get rid of the burning Forgotten Beast corpse in the staircase?  It's right below the main habitation area, so it's making everyone unhappy.  And for the love of Armok, clean its blood off the staircase.  Who knows what it'll do to the metalcrafters and haulers that have to walk through it.

[Gamerlord]

Dear Numbskulls

I know the outside waterfall is pretty, but the massive pile animal corpses at the bottom should give you some idea of why you shouldn't stand next to it!

Love, the Overseer

[Olith McHuman]

Dear Militia

Stop being on fire. It's bad for your Health.

Sincerely, the Overseer of Battlestruck

Dear Overseer of Battlestruck

We aren't exactly sure what "being on fire" means, but it sounds soothing and relaxing. We're all going out for drinks, so if you need us, we'll be in the booze stockpile sir.

The Militia

[WillowLuman]

Dear Numbskulls

I know the outside waterfall is pretty, but the massive pile animal corpses at the bottom should give you some idea of why you shouldn't stand next to it!

Love, the Overseer

Dear Waterfalls,

You beguille our people by telling them "earth and water, you'll find plenty of both down there."
You are the bane of our people. You come through our homes, bringing misery and death. You cast the severed heads of incoming migrants down from OUR CITY STEPS. Oh, we've chosen actions carefully, geography. Perhaps you should have done the same.
This is a declaration of war.

We will dam all your sources. We will cover you over with floors. We will pour magma upon you. And if that isn't enough, we will dig away the very precipice you pour down; we will STRIKE. THE. EARTH!