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[Corai]

Dear Kobolds,



STOP BEING SO CUTE! FIRST I GAVE YOUR CHOIRS ALL THE FOOD THEY NEED, NOW YOU ATTACK ME,


WHYYYYY.


Love, Kobold Overseer

[Lielac]

Dear Tholtig, Head Mechanic of Luremachines:

I apologize for my last letter. I overcomplicated the blueprints. It works beautifully now. please don't use it on me ma'am

Dear Luremachines in General:

Great work on the surrounding wall! Now get rid of that kobold.

[Splint]

Dear Hiver McMiner, I do not care that there is a large rat in the mines.I say Screw That. Really, screw  it. You are holding a drill. It has nothing. Screw it.

Dear overseer,

BUT DID YOU SEE THOSE FANGS?
It'll chop me in half with just ONE bite!
I wont fight that huge monster!

Sinercely, HIVER McMiner

In response to Hiver McMiner's plea, I say you are filthy coward, as other miners and hivers are happy fight dire wolf-sized spiders with thier bare hands and win. GET TO BORING A HOLE IN THAT DAMN RAT'S FACE.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Kobolds,



STOP BEING SO CUTE! FIRST I GAVE YOUR CHOIRS ALL THE FOOD THEY NEED, NOW YOU ATTACK ME,


WHYYYYY.


Love, Kobold Overseer

Dear Boss,

We have choirs?  Yay!

Signed,

Fleergreebis the Massively Cute

[mikelon]

Dear Captain of the guard, aka saviour of Bronzebirdge

When that one animal dissector died and triggered a tantrum spiral amongst the useless members of our society you jumped into action, with your masterwork silver warhammer you split the skulls of 62 dwarves. Many a scream was heard on that triumphant day.

You saved our textile, brewery, and food industry alot of tension that was building up feeding and clothing all those legendary fish dissectors and what not.

You are hereby assigned a room in the emptied gold mine vein that has been smoothed and engraved (with some of your kills i might add). Since you like gold so much

Wish i could make you some gold armor as well

Your truly

The overseer

[Pare]

Dear Guard McDog and Urist McWrestler,

I know that your "training" for unconscious opponents included the portion of hitting them in the head. However, if you try to hit the goblin invader lying in front of our gates in the head for a couple of weeks with no effect, it just might be that the iron helm the goblin is wearing is preventing your teeth or fists from doing any damage.

I'm glad that your efforts woke up the goblin eventually and made him dodge (again) into the serrated glass disk trap, which killed him, but you could just try for example strangling him when he's lying on the ground instead of just pummeling his well-made helmet.

Thank you.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Pare McOverseer,
Would YOU want to wear a helm that wasn't thoughroughly tested?
Sincerely,
Urist McQualityTester.
P.S. Remind me, next time, to make sure the goblin's dead before testing his helm. I didn't realise he hadn't gone to wherever goblins go when they die until he started attacking my dog.

[Splint]

Dear vent lurkers around Inficocastellum, please be a female that gets caught in the traps. I want to breed you for booze and all I'm getting is males. and to the giant wolf spiders, leave my well alone. Getting wrestlers and dabbling axe users from everyone needing to bludgeon you into submission with wooden axes and thier hands is getting old.

Thank you
Outpost Overlord Protector.

[bukitodinos]

dear uristmcfisher,

I gave you a new fishing lake for a reson:  YOUR OTHER LAKE IS A GIANT SPONGE BREEDING GROUND!!You do not go to the safe lake with all the happy turtles, you go to the one WITH THE THINGS THAT BREAK YOUR SKULL BY PUSHING YOU! Uristmcdocter is not happy with your negligence... you are the most important dwarf because you are the onley one who can fish. therefor making you one of our only sources of food.

hugs and stabs

your insane overseer.

[Garath]

dear uristmcfisher,

I gave you a new fishing lake for a reson:  YOUR OTHER LAKE IS A GIANT SPONGE BREEDING GROUND!!You do not go to the safe lake with all the happy turtles, you go to the one WITH THE THINGS THAT BREAK YOUR SKULL BY PUSHING YOU! Uristmcdocter is not happy with your negligence... you are the most important dwarf because you are the onley one who can fish. therefor making you one of our only sources of food.

hugs and stabs

your insane overseer.

Y'only told me that I sjould prefer fishing there, not to go to the other water, but you know, the scenery down there is much better. Too bad about the spongy thing, but I like that place.

- Urist Mcfisherghost

((o)rders (z)ones, (f) to change to zone only.)

[Vgray]

Dear Mountainhome.

How could you idiots not make axes? I don't care if your small! Use the spare metal to make axes. You clearly have enough to make picks.

-Overseer of the Fortress Umidsodel

[bukitodinos]

dear uristmcfisher,

I gave you a new fishing lake for a reson:  YOUR OTHER LAKE IS A GIANT SPONGE BREEDING GROUND!!You do not go to the safe lake with all the happy turtles, you go to the one WITH THE THINGS THAT BREAK YOUR SKULL BY PUSHING YOU! Uristmcdocter is not happy with your negligence... you are the most important dwarf because you are the onley one who can fish. therefor making you one of our only sources of food.

hugs and stabs

your insane overseer.

Y'only told me that I sjould prefer fishing there, not to go to the other water, but you know, the scenery down there is much better. Too bad about the spongy thing, but I like that place.

- Urist Mcfisherghost

((o)rders (z)ones, (f) to change to zone only.)

your not dead you baby its just a broken nail.

[bukitodinos]

dear urists

Please put that door right there that designation has been there since we embarked so can one of you hariy migets please make that door


hugs and stabs

Bukit

[Garath]

check if it's suspended? Furniture hauling is pretty high priority.

[WillowLuman]

Dear Urist McCyberdwarf

I appreciate you remaining loyal to the fortress after your conversion, at least in attacking the other cybermen, but I must confess that enough loyalty to also not attack your former compatriots would also be nice

Dear Blind Cave Ogre

You just made my day. I knew that if I took a vast reservoir of magma, restrained only by a single locked door, and a vast tank of water, held back by a humble doorway, and put them right next to each other, one of you would be stupid enough to walk right up and smash both doors.

Dear Goblins

Over 15 of your seiges have come to our fort, only to be finely minced without any of my citizens having to lift a finger. Why do you keep coming? What do you hope to achieve? I've checked in legends; your nation has only 518 members. Don't you realize that this senseless waste of life is driving your people into extinction? And yet month after month, year after year, you keep on sending waves of goblins after this single fort which thus far has proved untakeable by goblinkind. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.