Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Callista]

Dear Urists McMarksdwarves,

Congratulations on handily destroying the recent goblin siege.

However, for future reference, remember that it is not generally advisable to take three weeks to pick up your crossbows and carefully select only the prettiest bolts before ambling slowly into battle.

That squishy, bloody mess you all meandered past on your way to the fight? That was our legendary bowyer. You know, the one who made your crossbows? Yeah, that guy. He's dead  now, thanks to your oh-so-fast response.

Guess who's not getting any more masterwork crossbows for a good long while? Report to rock-hauling duty, pronto.
--Overseer

Dear Urist McLegendaryBowyer,

Walking into that ambush was pure bad luck. Killing two of the goblins while unarmed and half-dead was pure badassery. Surviving long enough for me to hope that you might be rescued was pure stubbornness. We apologize for your death, and acknowledge that the following couple dozen dead goblins are, by rights, yours to claim as well, since the masterwork crossbows you made were what we used to killed them. That they were being held by a bunch of lazy militia dwarves at the time is probably just coincidence. Rest assured that the militia is not getting any credit for those kills.

Way to claim posthumous revenge. And, by the way, if the new haulers don't get your corpse to your tomb ASAP, I'm using them as trap testers.
--Overseer

[Maxmurder]

*Posted outside Rough Dolomite Bridge*

All incoming Migrants,

Please report to the chamber down the stairs on your left for "processing."

Management

[Lagslayer]

*Posted outside Rough Dolomite Bridge*

All incoming Migrants,

Please report to the chamber down the stairs on your left for "processing."

Management

Did you just sig yourself?

[Maxmurder]

*Posted outside Rough Dolomite Bridge*

All incoming Migrants,

Please report to the chamber down the stairs on your left for "processing."

Management

Did you just sig yourself?

Yes. yes i did...

[Zaphod728]

Dear Urist McSucker McTrader

I do appreciate your taste in gold goblets, but really, it took my metalcrafter only 1 bar of gold to make the items i traded to you. I feel kinda bad taking most of your stuff. Could you possibly refrain from coming when we are under attack. I guess if you all die i can just take all your stuff.

P.S. I just half to ask, whats with the firefly brains? How many did you kill to make 5 meals worth? And the prepared bumblebee, It it just 1 or a whole plate full?

Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood overload

[Keldor]

You know those fancy restraunts where they serve really tiny portions...?

[Niccolo]

You know those fancy restraunts where they serve really tiny portions...?

Remind me to never go for Dwarven dégustation.

[Zaphod728]

You know those fancy restraunts where they serve really tiny portions...?

No kidding, it would be hard to even see a firefly brain.

Dear Urist McMoodyFace

I dont normally mind my dwarves making extravagant items, especially when I have all the items you need, but i did really expect more. You grabbed 3 stacks of cloth, enough wood to make 3 beds, gold bars, stone, and some leather. I was thinking "what sort of crazy item will this be," and what do you make? A pig tail fiber shirt . . . . I do appreciate that it is worth over 60K, but lets try to be more creative next time.

Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood overload

[viila]

Dear Snodub Creaturedemons, Goblin bat rider

Please stop sulking in the corner of the map and order your squad to attack already. Look, we even lowered our drawbridge. You yourself could just fly over the walls! Do something, anything! You're making everyone paranoid.

With silver arrows,
Overlord Viila

[Garath]

Dear Snodub Creaturedemons, Goblin bat rider

Please stop sulking in the corner of the map and order your squad to attack already. Look, we even lowered our drawbridge. You yourself could just fly over the walls! Do something, anything! You're making everyone paranoid.

With silver arrows,
Overlord Viila

known bug with flying mounts and pathing. Note that they do fine if you kill the rider

[viila]

Dear Militia Commander (deceased),

I appreciate the fervor with which you chased down the goblin hordes, but really, couldn't you have taken a few more steps around the frozen pool that had been designated as restricted traffic zone? In Spring? When you knew that it was going to thaw out at any moment?


Your facepalming Overlord,
Viila

PS. Don't think I don't know it was you who possessed Urist McGemCutter to build a gemstone coffin decorated with images of the coffin itself in more gemstone, not even 1 minute after your death... No. You will not be buried in it. You. were. not. that. important. 

[Spirit of Power]

Dear dwarves;

I have made bins. Many bins. More bins than I care to count. I have set the stockpiles to allow you to fit as many bins as possible in them. There is no other work to do. So why, WHY, do you not continue storing things in the stockpiles? There's bins. There's stuff. There's no room left in the stockpile for more stuff. There is, however, room for more bins. So why do you do nothing? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY???

Sincerely,

your rather vexed leader.

[Angel Of Death]

Dear UristMcMiner.

You useless bastard. You were assigned with killing the crystal FB who just came in, and you ran the moment you saw it. Nevermind, a useless wax worker just punched it in half.

[Fishybang]

Dear UristMcStoneworker I dont care that my miner's destroyed one of your engraving's thats no reason to topple over your workshop then beat you son to death with a goblit.



Sincerely,

Your very amused leader.

[Mr Frog]

Dear Urist McSoldier,
We would like to clarify that your cabinet is not intended for long-term food storage, that the disquieting aroma currently wafting through the dormitory is the typical result of attempting to use a cabinet for long-term food storage, and that your continued resistance to having the festering plump helmet roast removed from your cabinet may or may not result in your being immediately removed from military service and assigned a new job as a ballista target.

Hugs and Kisses,
Your Benevolent God-Emperor