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[jcnorris00]

Dear Overseer McHatefuljerk,

But these mushrooms and berries are just sooooo delicious, we just can't help ourselves.  Maybe if we also grew something brewable but inedible, like sweet pods, or pig tails, or dwarven wheat, or longland grass, or rope reed, or whip vine, or.... Excuse me, I hear a plump helmet calling out to me.  Mmmm, plump helmet....

Sincerely, Urist McSubsistencefarmer.

[PCpaste]

Urist McBrewer,

I finally thought I had our thirst problem fixed when the grass was harvested, and victory seemed so close... When you decided to fall face first into the snow on your way to the still for who knows how long.

While you were resting, everyone else either died of thirst or went insane. You are the only (Sane and uninjured) survivor.

...

I hope you enjoyed your nap.

If there were any other dwarves, i'd have them kill you.

~Overseer McHatefulljerk.

[roughedge]

Dear Urist McBadKid

I know your sad because there as been constant civil war since a few years, that your parents are dead and that goblins are ripping your uncle outside for sustencance but.... I mean you dont need to start being berserk at age 4. Any way, if you survive and get to adult age, be sure to be put in the sacrificial berserk squad I routinely send out on the surface with all the dirty elves. Btw your mother was a stupid dwarven gunt, we didnt even knew she was pregnant until you were birthed!

[ledgekindred]

Dear Urist McNewmom

You were hauling that War Cave Crocodile to his new pasture outside where he could sniff out thieves and snatchers when you dropped a new baby out of your uterus.  Why didn't you immediately release the croc and grab your kid.  Or not release it and grab your new kid.  I wanted to see what would happen when a giant, underground reptile full of sharp, pointy teeth met your new baby.  Granted he was trained, but an Overseer can dream, can't he?

Dear Urist McNewbabby
Ok you're kind of cute crawling around the place, getting in the way.  Still, I wish you had crawled closer to the caverns.  I wanted to see if you could punch out one of the blind cave ogres that have been creeping into the lower entrances.

Sincerely,
Your Perversely Amoral and Extremely Cruel But That's Par For The Course With Fortress Overlords, Fortress Overlord

[Loud Whispers]

Dear Urist McNewmom

You were hauling that War Cave Crocodile to his new pasture outside where he could sniff out thieves and snatchers when you dropped a new baby out of your uterus.  Why didn't you immediately release the croc and grab your kid.  Or not release it and grab your new kid.  I wanted to see what would happen when a giant, underground reptile full of sharp, pointy teeth met your new baby.  Granted he was trained, but an Overseer can dream, can't he?

Dear Urist McNewbabby
Ok you're kind of cute crawling around the place, getting in the way.  Still, I wish you had crawled closer to the caverns.  I wanted to see if you could punch out one of the blind cave ogres that have been creeping into the lower entrances.

Sincerely,
Your Perversely Amoral and Extremely Cruel But That's Par For The Course With Fortress Overlords, Fortress Overlord

Dear overseer,

Drop your babies on large serrated discs,

Job done.

[Ledo]

Dear Urist McMiner and his Mcwife

You a Legendaryminer +5 why did you charge at the first sight of an ambush?
Now you and 5 ambushers are dead. But i do like how you managed to take out all of the ambushers with your copper pick.
To bad you coudent of used your badassness on the FB that came troling about not 1 min after.
But not to worrie your wife felt like trying to defeat the FB in your hounor, too bad she was a pesant.....
Hopfully your child can become a great worrier and avenge your deaths.

Your truly
Very pissed off Overseer

[Reudh]

worrier

Worrier? Someone who worries? or someone who bites and shakes things around? Ooh, i should make a legendary worrier.

[Loud Whispers]

worrier

Worrier? Someone who worries? or someone who bites and shakes things around? Ooh, i should make a legendary worrier.

Perhaps he means warrior... Or wurrior. Or wariorz.

[Hitty40]

Dear Loud Whispers,

WE STILL HAVE YOUR DOOR, BITCH. WE WANT 20,000,000 DORFBUCKS OR WE BURN IT.


- Urist McDoorTerrorists

[Loud Whispers]

Dear Loud Whispers,

WE STILL HAVE YOUR DOOR, BITCH. WE WANT 20,000,000 DORFBUCKS OR WE BURN IT.


- Urist McDoorTerrorists

It's made of Jade. It's the scary door. Burn it, you release the HFS. Bluff called

[Doughnut189]

Dear Loud Whispers,

WE STILL HAVE YOUR DOOR, BITCH. WE WANT 20,000,000 DORFBUCKS OR WE BURN IT.


- Urist McDoorTerrorists

It's made of Jade. It's the scary door. Burn it, you release the HFS. Bluff called

You, sir, just accused dwarves of having problems with either
A: Burning inflammable materials, and
B: Releasing hell upon the world

[Theifofdreams]

You, sir, just accused dwarves of having problems with either
A: Burning inflammable materials, and
B: Releasing hell upon the world

Why did you bring up tuesdays? It's not even tuesday yet.

[Keldor]

Urist McBrewer,

I finally thought I had our thirst problem fixed when the grass was harvested, and victory

seemed so close... When you decided to fall face first into the snow on your way to the

still for who knows how long.

While you were resting, everyone else either died of thirst or went insane. You are the only

(Sane and uninjured) survivor.

...

I hope you enjoyed your nap.

If there were any other dwarves, i'd have them kill you.

~Overseer McHatefulljerk.

Dear Overseer McHatefuljerk,

Ye're talkin' like I'm the only dwarf who knows how to brew an ale.  And here after I went

to all the trouble of settin' up a distillery for ye!  Do I have to write a list of

instructions fer operatin' the durned thing an' tack it to yer forehead?!  All dwarves know

how to brew stuff.  Get someone else to do it.  I'm takin' a nap!

~Urist McBrewer

[Loud Whispers]

Dear Loud Whispers,

WE STILL HAVE YOUR DOOR, BITCH. WE WANT 20,000,000 DORFBUCKS OR WE BURN IT.


- Urist McDoorTerrorists

It's made of Jade. It's the scary door. Burn it, you release the HFS. Bluff called

You, sir, just accused dwarves of having problems with either
A: Burning inflammable materials, and
B: Releasing hell upon the world

No, it was my way of saying BRING IT

[Doughnut189]

You, sir, just accused dwarves of having problems with either
A: Burning inflammable materials, and
B: Releasing hell upon the world

Why did you bring up tuesdays? It's not even tuesday yet.

and it's only Thursday