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[Stargazer]

Dear Urist McSoldier,

Look, which would you rather prefer? To be occasionally stationed out in the rain-swept roofstops, enduring a cold shower now and again while your fellow soldiers train in the nice warm barracks, or to vomit up everything you've eaten for the past week during a goblin siege when I order you out into sunlight that you're unaccustomed to? I've given you cloaks. I've given you hoods. Suck it up already and be a man dwarf.

Dear Urist McMarksdwarf,

There is a reason why I've stationed you on the ramparts. If you haven't noticed, which is likely, there's a rather large number of goblins sitting on the other side of our moat making some fairly obscene gestures in your general direction. Now, I know you have a quiver and an ample supply of arrows. The crossbow you're wielding is of the finest quality. You have some of the best iron armor, forged in the depths of a magma kiln by our legendary armorer. Since you are so well-equipped, I would be ever so appreciative if you'd actually SHOOT AT THE ENEMY like I ordered! I don't CARE if there's two tiles behind the fortification instead of just one.

Dear Urist McPeasant,

There is a screaming mass of greenskin pillagers heading toward our fortress. I've designated all civilians to hide inside the fortress burrow where they'll be safe. You, however, seem to be intent on picking up that little bit of magnetite that was left over from excavating our moat and appear to be ignoring my orders to the contrary. This is commendable, but not necessarily wise given the current situation. The drawbridges need to be raised. If I decide that the fortress is in danger, I will have no choice but to do so. If you're caught outside when this happens, I will not be entirely sorry to watch the giant toads tear you limb from limb.

[Eктωρ]

Dear Urist McCarpenters
I appreciate all the work you are putting into building the houses.

[MadocComadrin]

Dear Urist McWoodcutter,

I have set up a redundant tight door/hatch cover system complete with traps and guard dogs at the entrance to the caverns. While I usually appreciate common courtesy, holding each and every door and hatch for a troglodyte is just plain retarded.

Sincerely,

The Overseer.

[Reudh]

Dear Urist McHuntard,

Please stop screaming at me when you hunt a Unicorn with three bolts left in your quiver. It's your choice. Hopefully our team of surgeons can patch you up. If not, there's plenty more hunters...

Sincerely, Reudh, Deity of Zalisiden and Common Sense.

[Silent_Thunder]

Dear Angry McBadgerman;
     WHY DO YOU EXIST OH GOD BLOOD EVERYWHERE!
Love,
    The Overseer

[Specter513]

Dear Urist McYourOnlyJobIsToCloseTheGate,
Your only job is to close the gate. Do not run from the gate. You will be safe if you close the gate. If you have the misfortune of being found by me, I'll show you what a closed gate looks like from the outside.
Have fun with the gobbos,
Overseer

[Teronsuke]

Dear UristMcSmith:
When I gave the order for you to begin production from the several HUNDRED iron bars that are currently stockpiled, I wanted you to begin NOW. Not haul a log across a frozen pond, and drown within 3 seconds when the damned thing unfroze.
-Teron
P.S. I will leave your corpse in that lake until your ghost starts getting violent, I now have to pick someone who DIDN'T migrate in halfway to legendary in all metalworking skills.

[Table Turning]

Dear Urist McMomOfTheYear,

When I ordered everyone to evacuate inside because of an attack, don't you think you could have taken your baby with you?  It's your fucking fault if you go insane because the poor thing was mutilated by goblins.

P.S. Don't take your baby in the danger room, either.  I'm not cleaning that mess up.

[Greiger]

To Paramedics.

Yes, you worked very quickly and got the wounded members of the crossbow squad to the hospital almost the moment the all clear was called.  I am happy to see that it looks like they will all live, even the really stupid one that ignored the station order to stay the hell away from the fortifications until the elite crossbowgob passed, and caused the others to get injured trying to save his ass.

Very good job.

However was it really necessary to put them all in one bed?  There's 19 others in the hospital, and I can't help but think it makes the doctors' jobs a little difficult.

From,
The Administration

[Cheveux]

However was it really necessary to put them all in one bed?  There's 19 others in the hospital, and I can't help but think it makes the doctors' jobs a little difficult.

That must have be confusing :

Urist McDiagnoser : No McBoneSetter! It's the wrong leg! I already told you it was the third left one from the top.
Lekost McBoneSetter : Arggh! Screw this I'm going to set everyone's legs in gypsum. There problem solved.
Cog McSurgeon : Anyone knows if I already operated on this patient?
Litast McSuturer : I hope so because I already sewed thread in his head.

EDIT : Typo!

[Ross Vernal]

Dear corpse of Urist McLegendaryMason:

If you're thirsty, try pausing your work and going for a drink. We have a room with hundreds of barrels of booze, located less than 50 steps from your workshop and your bedroom.  Unfortunately, you decided to keep working through your thirsty and dropped dead of thirst right as soon as you walked into the booze room.

Which now smells like your rotting, idiotic corpse.

Thank you.

[Coolnesstod]

Dear Urist McRAGE,

You killed an entire army of Goblins and your angry because your pet kitten died, You have 50 other kittens that love you, so shut up and get out of bed and work, you fucking panzy.

[Loli]

Dear Urist McOverzealousCaptainoftheGuard,

As much as I understand the importance of beating misbehaving dorfs, did you really have to kill the Legendary Axelord, Legendary Hammerdwarf, and the Legendary Miner because they destroyed a bed or two?

[Tiruin]

Dear Competant Swordsdwarf,
You are one of the starting seven, bound by your rule that you live or die to the fort you make. You are our Militia Commander and armed in full steel. You are currently in charge of training up 3 more dabbling recruits.

And when the scouts raised the alarm, you told everyone to stay inside. The doors blocking the invaders were jammed by a leftover piece of dolomite and everyone else was too busy panicking to remove them.

You were the only one who stood against a 12 goblin squad, led by a Jabberer. I was watching you raise your axe and shield as you taunted them by our door. I never knew you had such colorful language.

No one else was brave enough to stand at your side but your pet war dog. When they came, you charged in unison. I thought you would die to the Jabberer but your dog saved you, allowing you to chop it up, the goblins fled in terror as you cut them by the heel.

But alas, your dog has fallen and now you are unhappy although we are partying because of your brave success. Not even a scratch! I applaud your self-less act, but we sadly cannot replace your dog. Just made a statue of you and it though.

Our hero is you.

-Overseer _________
Fortress Saramnir

[Brackev]

Dear squad,
Thank you for chasing those camels to our gate instead of killing them while they passed you.  We have a key to the city for you after you get inside.  After getting the key, please unlock the door and let yourselves back in. 
-The Management