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[narhiril]

Dear Mountainhomes,

Please stop sending migrant waves during six concurrent ambushes.


Sincerely,

Urist McLazy, mason, who does not get paid by the slab.

[AWdeV]

Dear Aquifers. Quit hoggin' the rubies, the lignite, the bituminous coal, the sardonyxes and the kaolinite. Kindly bugger off.

[Deus Machina]

Dear Tree Mc... Tree.
  I've hit veins of hematite that span entire layers. I have not, however, struck bituminous coal or lignite.
  Grow faster.

Eagerly waiting to burn you and your children,
the overseer of Lightcities.

[Hitty40]

Dear Urist McMayor,

Yes, please go attempt to kill yourself again while there is a goblin siege going on. Militia won't save you next time.

                                                                                                                                                   -G

[alesia]

Dear human garbagemen caravaneers,

Please bring more bodyguards.  Your last set died in the moat fighting the panda men.  There are still two living panda men down there and I want new critters on my map, dammit.

PS. If you could please outfit your bodyguards in full bronze armor, that would be great.  A pump-assisted corpse reclamation program has been added to the agenda for a few years down the road once the panda men are all dead, and we can always use more bronze.

PPS.  No we're not giving you their stuff back.  That equipment has been claimed as part of the Stupidity Tax which is levied on people stupid enough to go into the moat.

PPPS.  You can keep your shitty llama wool clothes.  We wear steel or nothing.

Sincerely,
The Administrator of Hammerwork

---

Dear six loving but unmarried couples,

We are the last dwarves on the planet.  Get married and make babies already.

Sincerely,
The Management

[Cthulhu Inc]

Dear Markdwarves:

Learn to lead the target.

Farm animals:

Eat the grass in the rest of your pasture before fighting.

--The Corporation

[nightwhips]

Dear Urist McMigrant-

Yes, I know you're excited about military duty. That does not mean take off all your clothes out in the middle of the woods in preparation for your new uniform. You'll just have to go pick them up again when you go off duty, and that will probably lead to badger women. Not good, Urist McMigrant.

Sincerely,

Your Fortress

[Hungry Elephant]

Dear Urist McSpearmaster

I really liked you.
I mean, you handle a entire goblin siege with only threee other chaps.
You smashed your way tough ordes of goblins, trolls and the like.
You had a fair amount of kills.

Then can you explain to me how you managed to drow on the bottom of a lake with no access? Did you jump trough the well? Or did you fall from the single empty space title?

And you lost a bunch of well crafted steel armor that I cannot even retrieve because in the first place I got no bloody idea how did you get down there.

Good news is that I put a grate on that empty space tile. Just in case.

And for Armork sake, what the hell were you doing near the well while we got tons of booze?

Sincerely,
Your Overseer

[wypie]

Dear Urist McJerky

Why must you run out during a seige and get turned into beef jerky...

Sincerely,
Urist McMilitiaCommander

[Hungry Elephant]

Dear Urist McJerky

Why must you run out during a seige and get turned into beef jerky...

Sincerely,
Urist McMilitiaCommander

Dear UristMilitiaCommander,

This usually do not happen if you make a proper use of burrows and alarms settings.
If the dwarf is already outside... well bad for him, but he will try to get inside ASAP.

Sincerely,
A fellow Overseer.

[YetAnotherStupidDorf]

he will try to get inside ASAP.

Except when he sees enemy. Civilian will run around like headless chicken, and military will suicidally attack. Great choices!

[Niccolo]

he will try to get inside ASAP.

Except when he sees enemy. Civilian will run around like headless chicken, and military will suicidally attack. Great choices!

Or if he's on break. I had a gang of dwarves that would immediately go on break as soon as I hit military alert... and they'd all run outside - closely followed by the outer gate shutting. Like hell I was letting them back in.

[betasoldier]

Dear Urist McHammerdwarf,

While I genuinely admire your spirit, could you please tell me why you chose to attack the goblin by biting him in the head instead of beating him with the iron war hammer that I checked to ensure that you had? It was very dwarfy but..... yeah...... Oddly effective.


Your Confused Overseer

[Hitty40]

Dear dwarves of Abbeykiller(and to the Mountainhomes):

Please stop having just about everyone liking some kind of wood. It's not Dwarfy. Failure to comply may lead to an unfortunate accident until this is resolved.

[jaxy15]

Dear dwarves of Abbeykiller(and to the Mountainhomes):

Please stop having just about everyone liking some kind of wood. It's not Dwarfy. Failure to comply may lead to an unfortunate accident until this is resolved.

Dear Overseer G,

but it's like colorful hehehehe

Sincerely,
Dwarves of Abbeykiller