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[Hitty40]

Dear starting 7 Dwarves of Abbeykiller:

Why do you all like wood?

-Overseer G

[jaxy15]

Dear starting 7 Dwarves of Abbeykiller:

Why do you all like wood?

-Overseer G

Dear Overseer G,

Because, it's, like, colorful and stuff. duuuuuuuuude. hehehe. Want some rope reed fiber cloth?

Sincerely,

7 starting dwarves of Abbeykiller.

[Necro910]

Dear starting 7 Dwarves of Abbeykiller:

Why do you all like wood?

-Overseer G

Dear Overseer G,

Because, it's, like, colorful and stuff. duuuuuuuuude. hehehe. Want some rope reed fiber cloth?

Sincerely,

7 starting dwarves of Abbeykiller.

Dear Overseer G,

THEY'RE ELF SPIES! BURN THEM WITH MAGMA, NOW! MAGMAAAAAAAAAAAA

Who you should be fully aware of by now,
Overseer Necro

[Saeldanya]

Dear Urist,

Why must you run to the river to fill your waterskin THE VERY MOMENT the sieging army is flooding in through the gate and coming your way, and EVERYONE ELSE is staying in the lower levels like I ordered them to?

Grrrr.

[ledgekindred]

Dear starting 7 Dwarves of Abbeykiller:

Why do you all like wood?

-Overseer G

Dear Overseer G,

Because, it's, like, colorful and stuff. duuuuuuuuude. hehehe. Want some rope reed fiber cloth?

Sincerely,

7 starting dwarves of Abbeykiller.

Aaaahhhehehhehe, he said "wood."

Pass me some more of those plump helmets, man.

[KoffeeKup]

  Dear Urist Mcleverpullin'
       When I say lever, you say PULL then go do that because thanks to you all your under-equipped militia friends are now sliced up, stabbed, broken and bleeding all over our front entrance. Now our understaffed hospital is full and your primary care provider, Urist McBeBackIn5minINeedBoozeStitchUpYourOwnChestCavity is currently unavailable. It would have been great if you pulled the lever so that the draw bridge would go up and make 6 spear goblins plummet 70 feet to the solid rock below but instead you decided to move really slow and pull it when the goblins are in the actual fort. We are now experiencing a tantrum spiral and you deserve that punch to the face by Angrydorf McDeadFriends.

         Seriously, Your Powerful and Terrifying Overseer.



    PS: 3 babbies are dead because of you!  WTF is wrong with you? How are you still ecstatic you little baby murderer?

[Necro910]

PS: 3 babbies are dead because of you!  WTF is wrong with you? How are you still ecstatic you little baby murderer?

"Urist has taken joy in slaughter lately"

If you want him to feel guilty, tell him how the berserk brewer is no longer making any booze.

[malimbar04]

Urist McChild

when I ordered a 3rd story bridge to be dismantled, you were not supposed to be standing on it. You're 7 years old for armoks sake. Your leg is broken now, and I feel no pity for you. Now get off to the hospital.

[Hitty40]

Dear Urist McYakButcher,

When I ask you to butcher a specific animal, and you decide go and butcher all the yaks in the fort. There's a reason why I let them live. I don't care if they mauled your entire family and you left arm, you butcher that specific animal and that's final.

[Togre]

Dear Urist Mcbroker,

When I tell you to go to the Trade Depot, what that means is I want you to GO TO THE TRADE DEPOT!  Not the booze pile!!! Not your bedroom!! No, I even relieved you from your other tasks, not so you could tie one on and then go hibernated, but so you could, oh I don't know--TRADE?!?


Just wait til I find the magma <mumble> <snarl> <grumble>

Cordially,
Your Overseer

[Broseph Stalin]

Dear Urist McBroker

I couldn't help but notice that the last three caravans came and went without you ever reaching them because you decided that drinking, sleeping, carrying things, attending parties, and going on break were all more important than procuring the supplies that our fort desperately needs. You may now be noticing that you are no longer our broker and that your room has begun filling with water.

With love and slowly rising water,
The Voice That Tells You To Do Things.

[DrKillPatient]

Dear Zimator (Crestedperfect), Fire Imp & Unnamed Fire Imp,
Unnamed: Get the fuck out of my magma vent. You've already killed one swordsdwarf as he jumped into the volcano to attack you and burned to death hundreds of Urists below.
Zimator: Despite being a nuisance, you have amused me. You briefly broke from the surface of the magma vent to ignite a cheesemaker, who ran screaming through most of the fortress while no one seemed to take notice. Thankfully he set nothing on fire, and hey, he was a cheesemaker. I suppose he deserved that.
Both of you: I respect your perseverance-- you've been here since I uncovered cavern level 3 and haven't left the map since. Oddly, in the fight(s) you instigated, both of you had your left legs severely mutilated. Zimator's hip, ankle, and upper spine are shattered, and Unnamed's got a broken ankle. You appear to be unable to stand up... while floating around in magma. Aren't you made of pure flame? What broke, exactly?
Anyway, stop this harassment of my citizens or I'll go so far as to collapse the entire cavern's roof upon your impudent heads.

- The Invisible Man in the Sky

[Teronsuke]

Dear Unnamed Fire Imp,
 Get the fuck out of my magma vent. You've already killed one swordsdwarf as he jumped into the volcano to attack you and burned to death hundreds of Urists below.
- The Invisible Man in the Sky

Please, for the love of god Armok, let me sig this.

[DrKillPatient]

Certainly, good sir!

[RAKninja]

dear overseers with broker problems,

create a burrow over your trade depot and assign the broker to it when the a caravan is announced.  you'll suffer much less this way.  they'll still eat and drink and sleep, but that usually leaves plenty of time for trading.

sincerely,

RAK