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[Niccolo]

Dear Urist McInvincible;

What the hell? Seriously, what the hell?

Firstly; when I told you to deconstruct the sole plank of wood that held up the dirt plug for aquifer breaching, why did you decide to cut through it while standing on the plug?

Secondly, how on God's green earth did you survive the colony drop without a single goddamn scratch? I figured you were dead and done for after that little stunt of yours!

Sincerely,
a bewildered overseer.

[ThatAussieGuy]

Dear Urist McInvincible;

What the hell? Seriously, what the hell?

Firstly; when I told you to deconstruct the sole plank of wood that held up the dirt plug for aquifer breaching, why did you decide to cut through it while standing on the plug?

Secondly, how on God's green earth did you survive the colony drop without a single goddamn scratch? I figured you were dead and done for after that little stunt of yours!

Sincerely,
a bewildered overseer.

To my bewildered overseer, re: my survival.

A good stiff drink before digging.

Sincerely;
Urist McAwesome.

[moki]

Dear Urist McDoctor,
I very much appreciate you doing some other work while there are no medical emergencies, but would you please get out of the moat now? I know it thawed when you were just hauling something through it (though there was a perfectly good bridge nearby), but since you aren't drowning in 3/7 water, could you just move your lazy behind up those ramps before the water freezes again?

Sincerely
Your slightly annoyed overseer

PS: Oh well, never mind... I knew you weren't the sharpest knife in the drawer, even for dwarven standards, but dying of thirst while standing knee-deep in water? Seriously?! I guess, Urist McButchersApprentice has to do your job now...

[malimbar04]

Dear Mr and Mrs Urist,

I know you like kids... but come on, do you really need 11? Your family alone is causing our food shortages, and if we all die I blame it on you.

- Overseer.

[Elisebambi]

I suppose we should appoint a commitee to hand out prizes to the most heroic medical dwarves.

An HMd?  :O

PS: Oh well, never mind... I knew you weren't the sharpest knife in the drawer, even for dwarven standards, but dying of thirst while standing knee-deep in water? Seriously?! I guess, Urist McButchersApprentice has to do your job now...

My doctor was also a butcher.

[Kay12]

Dear Urist McBrewer

I know our Fortress is still in its early phase of development and unable to provide the comforts of the Mountainhomes. But we can never prosper without hard work. And your hard work is what yields us alcohol, and our imported supplies are running out fast, so I'd really appreciate it if you, instead of taking breaks, would actually make some booze. We wouldn't want your comrades to have to drink from the extremely poorly planned water reservoir.

Yours
Kʌy the Overseer

Ps. And this time, don't resume slacking off after brewing and consuming your own portion. You don't want to seem like a selfish git, do you?

[Tiruin]

Dear Urist McBrewer

I know our Fortress is still in its early phase of development and unable to provide the comforts of the Mountainhomes. But we can never prosper without hard work. And your hard work is what yields us alcohol, and our imported supplies are running out fast, so I'd really appreciate it if you, instead of taking breaks, would actually make some booze. We wouldn't want your comrades to have to drink from the extremely poorly planned water reservoir.

Yours
Kʌy the Overseer

Ps. And this time, don't resume slacking off after brewing and consuming your own portion. You don't want to seem like a selfish git, do you?

Dear Overseer,

You do know that brewing something with only adequate equipment takes a long time even though it may seem like an easy job to others.

Breaks keep us up and running, you do not want to taste a hastily brewed batch of drinks, trust me on that.

Yours truly,
Mc Brewer.


(P.S. To all those who are suffering from brewing problems, try giving other dwarves that labor, under farming. The brewing skill only affects the speed in which its brewed, not how many drinks. That is up to the Grower (if you brew home-grown plants) since 1 brew-able plant = 5 drink.)

[Baron Baconeer]

(P.S. To all those who are suffering from brewing problems, try giving other dwarves that labor, under farming. The brewing skill only affects the speed in which its brewed, not how many drinks. That is up to the Grower (if you brew home-grown plants) since 1 brew-able plant = 5 drink.)

But doesn't it affect the 'secret' quality of the drink?

[UristMcHuman]

Dear Urist McStonedigger,

Just because that damn troglodyte gets in your way doesn't mean that you should cancel your job and run away. You have a pick in your hand, if you use it to hack at the stone in the caverns, why don't you use it to hack at that troglodyte?

Your camp leader,
Urist McHuman.

[Johuotar]

Dear Urist McArchitect.

You do not, I repeat YOU DO NOT waste the only bar of iron in the whole fortress, probably in the entire world cause that stuff is so rare these days, to make artifact animal trap. We are being sieged by our enemies and our soldiers are armed with copper and bronze weapons and you dare to steal from our most important military assets.

In these troubled times I cannot afford to have a single dwarf be prisoned or otherwise waste dwarfpower, instead I'm having you drafted to the militia where you can hopefully contribute more than that bar of iron you wasted. Report to militia captain Edzul Zuntikrakul of Volcanos of principles before 10th of Timber in his office near the dining hall and my office.

Mayor Bim Sibrekvunom-.

[Tiruin]

(P.S. To all those who are suffering from brewing problems, try giving other dwarves that labor, under farming. The brewing skill only affects the speed in which its brewed, not how many drinks. That is up to the Grower (if you brew home-grown plants) since 1 brew-able plant = 5 drink.)

But doesn't it affect the 'secret' quality of the drink?

I think it does but its better than having no drinks at all. The best drink I saw one of my dwarves have gave him "had a truly decadent drink lately."

And don't drinks have a fixed value in addition to the secret quality?

~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Urist McMelancholy

You are sad, I did nothing to help you get your materials for your unique artifact.

That I apologize for, you have my deepest apologies. I know that I cannot make up for it in any way but to make a statue out of you.

My only problem is that I think you need more drink, by that I mean some nice Cave Rum. You love those right?

I stated that because you also need to think about other dwarves in the fort, you were too thirsty and decided to drink water from the well. Not only that but you decided you wanted more and rode the bucket into the well.

Now our only water supply is full of your remembrance.

I guess karma is happening all over again.

Sincerely yours,
The Mourning Overseer

[Theifofdreams]

Dear Urist Mchungrydwarf
I understand that you just can't get enough of those tasty plump helmets, but there's a reason that they're not to be cooked. We have plenty of cooked meals in the stockpiles, but if you feel the need for booze (Arnok help you if you don't) then do -not- consume the item needed to brew said booze.
 Sincerely, the guy one step away from blowing the still and booze stockpiles up to see how well you like it.

[Ultimuh]

Dear Worldgen.

While I do like multiple ages, I tend to get much bored of several races becoming extinct.
Especially if I depend on one of those races to actually be able to embark with.
Also.. Why can you not start gen a world on medium or larger, without it taking at least 30 minutes generating it?

-A Frustrated Fortress Builder.

[UristMcHuman]

Dear world generator,

Why am I not able to controll kobolds? I wish to controll kobolds and place them in the caverns. Are there no kobold civs that you bother to create? Or do you always like to kill off the kobolds during world generation just for the hell of it?

Sincerely,
A guy who wishes to controll kobolds.

[RAKninja]

Dear Urist Mchungrydwarf
I understand that you just can't get enough of those tasty plump helmets, but there's a reason that they're not to be cooked. We have plenty of cooked meals in the stockpiles, but if you feel the need for booze (Arnok help you if you don't) then do -not- consume the item needed to brew said booze.
 Sincerely, the guy one step away from blowing the still and booze stockpiles up to see how well you like it.

amen bruthah.  testify.