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[Elisebambi]

WoT snip

That, right there, is one badass doctor. "What? We have no splints? Not a single length of wood in the whole fortress? Then I shall cut down the trees myself!" There's above and beyond your duty and then there's that guy.

Seriously, his compassion attribute must be through the roof.

I no rite?

I mean, he /was/ the herbalist/woodcutter before becoming the doctor, but, yeah.   No, he seriously is the best doctor I've ever had.

Edit:
Related, but, the hospital was soon there-after expanded, stocked liberally, and prettied up.

[lazygun]

Dear Urist McAxedwarf,

When ordered to kill goblins, that does NOT mean to go chasing after a herd of giant capybaras. The fortress is not short of food, and in fact has trouble finding places to store all the meat and cooked meals generated from culling our domesticated animals. Do not ignore orders to station yourself back inside the fort. Do not leave a trail of capybara corpses all over the map. If you persist in doing so, at all cost never let that trail end with a steel gauntlet, steel battle axe and a Urist McAxedwarf's right upper arm. Oh... too late!

Lefty McAxedwarf, you have been relieved from military duty. If you start grumbling, I'll just put my fingers in my ears and go "Lalalala!". See how you like being ignored!

Your frustrated overseer.

[Elisebambi]

Dear Urist McHunterdorf,

I appreciate that it is your job to kill every living thing that isn't a dwarf, or a pet, but---do you really have to show off by killing six lions, with six bone bolts, within a few seconds of eachother, half of them with headshots, the other half with arrows through major organs?

With love,
Overseer.

Dear Urist Nazomcog (((their actual name))), the legendary engraver.

Please, please, don't engrave the same crosses and pictures of wounded dwarves that you did in the hospital in our dwarves rooms.

Thank you,
Overseer.

[RAKninja]

Dear Urist Nazomcog (((their actual name))), the legendary engraver.

Please, please, don't engrave the same crosses and pictures of wounded dwarves that you did in the hospital in our dwarves rooms.

Thank you,
Overseer.

funny story, as i have two dwarves that regularly pass being mayor back and forth.  in the mayoral bedchambers are engravings of both of them being removed as mayor.

[Elisebambi]

Lol---he took to carving pictures of the medical-dwarf being appointed in everyones' bedrooms.

[Ratbert_CP]

Dear Urist Nazomcog (((their actual name))), the legendary engraver.

Please, please, don't engrave the same crosses and pictures of wounded dwarves that you did in the hospital in our dwarves rooms.

Thank you,
Overseer.

They're supposed to be helpful "stitch by number" diagrams to help out future hospital workers...

[Sutremaine]

Dear Urist McLongname,

I appreciate that inspiration can strike at any time, even during a meal. However, I would appreciate it if, upon completing your life's great work, you did not celebrate by returning to the dining hall and dancing on the table before squatting down on said table to finish your meal. Sit down. That is why we have chairs.

Yours,
Your Collective Madness

[zehive]

Dear Urist McDorfy Dwarfs

I know that you knew I was going to savescum, but I was doing !!Science!! to see how well my military would stand against all the demons of hell. Sure, they killed 60 before the last of our militia died and more hellspawn flooded out. But why, oh Armok help me why, did you all decide to run down to the depths to gather the socks of our dead when I explicitly said 'Dont fucking go down there, man.' Instead, you decided to all run down. Rather then hook up the last lever so everyone could cross the bridge and raise it, collapse the fort like an accordion and still live off the farms. But now I'm watching you all either burn to death in the fire breath of demons, get your heads torn off, or splash around the syndrome blood of dead demons. Though amusing, its unbelievably irritating.

Sincerely,
Your lives are my plaything

[RAKninja]

Dear Urist McDorfy Dwarfs

I know that you knew I was going to savescum, but I was doing !!Science!! to see how well my military would stand against all the demons of hell. Sure, they killed 60 before the last of our militia died and more hellspawn flooded out. But why, oh Armok help me why, did you all decide to run down to the depths to gather the socks of our dead when I explicitly said 'Dont fucking go down there, man.' Instead, you decided to all run down. Rather then hook up the last lever so everyone could cross the bridge and raise it, collapse the fort like an accordion and still live off the farms. But now I'm watching you all either burn to death in the fire breath of demons, get your heads torn off, or splash around the syndrome blood of dead demons. Though amusing, its unbelievably irritating.

Sincerely,
Your lives are my plaything

dear omnipotence,
they were free socks!  urist mcslainby&'s was not going to be needing them where he is!  you would let such fine socks go to waste?  can you not empathise with what effect a well made sock has on the dwarven soul?

sincerely,
urist mcheylookit'sasock!

[Baron Baconeer]

WoT snip

That, right there, is one badass doctor. "What? We have no splints? Not a single length of wood in the whole fortress? Then I shall cut down the trees myself!" There's above and beyond your duty and then there's that guy.

Seriously, his compassion attribute must be through the roof.

I no rite?

I mean, he /was/ the herbalist/woodcutter before becoming the doctor, but, yeah.   No, he seriously is the best doctor I've ever had.

Edit:
Related, but, the hospital was soon there-after expanded, stocked liberally, and prettied up.

I've also had a great chief medical, who at first was a legendary herbalist and kept my fort alive for seven years while I was figuring out farming. He has decapicated a forgotten beast with a single swing of an axe, after which he personally carried dwarf wounded by the beast to the hospital and fixed him. And he is also a legendary cook.


I suppose we should appoint a commitee to hand out prizes to the most heroic medical dwarves.

[RAKninja]

I suppose we should appoint a commitee to hand out prizes to the most heroic medical dwarves.

my first medic for my current fortress gets the razzie equivalent to that award.  he let the best soldier in the fort die of thirst.  while he was less than ten tiles away..... enjoying a drink.

dear urist mcking and urist mcduchess,

please get married and have children.  neither of you are getting any younger.

toodles,

your stallin

[Excedion]

Dear Urist McToddler,

I know youre fascinated by your new found ability to walk, but i would not advise taking strolls outside to gather some socks when there are still many socks with live enemies filling them. It would be best in future if you stay inside and play with the mountains of toys we have in our stockpiles.

Your omnipotent ruler

P.S. I've locked your door in case you have the sudden urge to go exploring for socks again, though i doubt you'll be going anywhere soon with two broken legs and arms.

[imperium3]

Dear Giant Desert Scorpions,

Why aren't you breeding? We've got you nice and tamed, the kittens and puppies are popping out left, right and centre, but you're just sitting there. I need my scorpion swarms dammit!

Sincerely,
Management of Akrulatol

PS I'm told you only live for 25 years or so, so you might want to hurry up a bit...

[ThatAussieGuy]

Dear Urist McToddler,

I know youre fascinated by your new found ability to walk, but i would not advise taking strolls outside to gather some socks when there are still many socks with live enemies filling them. It would be best in future if you stay inside and play with the mountains of toys we have in our stockpiles.

Your omnipotent ruler

P.S. I've locked your door in case you have the sudden urge to go exploring for socks again, though i doubt you'll be going anywhere soon with two broken legs and arms.

Deer Mista Ominpootant Rooler.

A child doz as it pleazes!

Sined:

UriSt McChilD.

(Spelling mistakes are intentional, for anyone that doesn't get the joke)

[Reudh]

Dear Dobar Ducimnebel, Chief Medic and Legendary Engraver-

I know many years ago you were briefly made militia commander despite your friend Iteb being better qualified.
I know I removed you from that position and replaced you with him.
I know I gave you Chief Medic in compensation because you were the only one with higher than Adequate Diagnostician in the fort.

SO STOP ENGRAVING PICTURES OF YOURSELF CRYING BECAUSE OF A POSITION YOU HELD FOR THREE SECONDS. CHEER UP, GUY.

Sincerely, Reudh, overseer of Murakgoden and Minor Avatar of Armok.