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[Draignean]

Urist Mcdeadslacker

Yes you can take breaks, no I don't mind, But as my legendary weaponsmith I would appreciate if you didn't do it on a frozen river a half second before it thaws. Not only this but that river lead down into a twenty Z-level drop of the edge of a cliff face, and into a grate that I made to harness the power of the waterfall for your friends. Now five children got to watch your body break into a dozen pieces and spray through the mist generators. You Fail.

-Your frustratated and slightly bloody overseer.

Dear Overseer Draignean,
You obviously have not used enough magma. Your legendary weaponsmith probably killed himself because you don't have a large enough beard.

With magma,
Overseer Necro

Dear Overseer Necro

You kidding? If he hadn't been stopped by the grates he would have hit the obsidian generator resevoir, if he wanted magma he could been ass deep in it with a word. It was his choice to be an elf and take a surface walk.

-Overseer

Dear Overseer Draignean,
He was on the surface, and the river unfroze. Magma does not freeze. Dwarves will not path through magma. Do you understand the lack of magma? The obvious solution is to flood the world with magma. The weaponsmith was making a political statement.

-Overseer Necro

Overseer Necro,

How will I make obsidian then If I activate the doomsday device? Though I suppose I could create a magma based heating system for the entire river... Hmm ...

Draignean cancels sign letter: Taken by mood.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Urist McLegendaryMiner,
Here is what you should do if you have to "cancel dig: Interrupted by Giant Badger": Stick your pick in its brain.
Here is what you did: Took a nap in the grass.
At least come inside.

[MythagoWoods]

Dear Urist McHouse,

I know it isn't lupus but I didn't make you my chief medical dwarf so you could ignore all my dwarves who happen to have a bruise or a case of the sniffles.  My hospital is fill to the brim with dwarves who don't even have any wounds because they got wind of an ambush I had a few SEASONS AGO waiting diagnosis.  I highly recommend you diagnose them so they go back to being useful.  Preferably before I repalce you with Urist McCox or have you catapaulted off the tower.

Sincerly,
Your quite annoyed overseer

[xeivous]

Dear Urist McLegendaryMiner,
Here is what you should do if you have to "cancel dig: Interrupted by Giant Badger": Stick your pick in its brain.
Here is what you did: Took a nap in the grass.
At least come inside.

Dear Urist McManager

I'm taking a nap, go away. Besides, have you SEEN the teeth on those things?

[DrKillPatient]

Dear Fire McFire,

Please get off Urist McEveryone. It's quite sad that you're taking advantage of dwarven ignorance to danger to further your own propagation.

- Sky Guy

[Ahrimahn]

Dear Urist McEveryone

There is more than one path to the dorms so why do you insist on walking through the one filled with forgotten beast extract that causes paralysis and later necrosis of the spine?

Dear Urist McChiefMedDorf

I am quite impressed with the way you have been dealing with this situation and your general skill somehow all of your patients both live and are able to walk despite their recent despining.

-sincerely Barkeep

[urick]

Dear Overseer Cuddy;
You know how I feel about clinic duty.
Yours,
Urist McHouse

[Eric Blank]

Dear everyone;
      Please continue being perfect little workers and stay alive for another year. Please DO NOT get slaughtered by the goblins the very first time they ambush us.
 -Sincerely, your thus far pleased overseer.
P.S. congratulations on your new child, Ducim. Please don't get eaten while carrying her around.

[schussel]

Dear everyone;
      Please continue being perfect little workers and stay alive for another year. Please DO NOT get slaughtered by the goblins the very first time they ambush us.
 -Sincerely, your thus far pleased overseer.
P.S. congratulations on your new child, Ducim. Please don't get eaten while carrying her around.

you remind me of any overprotective mother i witnessed so far ... be aware those stances usually backfire in a cruel and unusual way

[Deus Machina]

Dear Urist McMason,

Thanks for ignoring the single, easily accessible 'build wall' designation for two seasons so three squads of goblins and an entire group of trolls could bumrush the empty hole into the fortress. I blame you and you alone for the death of 73 dwarves and the fall of  the otherwise amazingly successful Shotunion.

Welcome to the new outpost. You're on vacation until I call for you, on the condition you spend it skating on the river until spring.

[zephyr_hound]

To all dwarves of Bellrings:

CLAIMING OF GOBLIN JUNK IS NOT PERMITTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. NO. STOP CLAIMING IT. Especially you Atis Kengcatten, Weaponsmith, I have finally located the xxalpaca wool cloakxx you're spamming "cancels store owned item; item inaccessible" about, and it's on fire. You don't want it. No, seriously. Trust me. You don't want it.

Those of you complaining about nakedness, which is most of you, will be allocated uniforms AS AND WHEN WE GET ROUND TO IT. And I don't want to hear ANY more complaints about leather armor and chafing. You're dwarves. Get used to it.

[lanceleoghauni]

Dear Urist McHunter's  STOP AVENGING BOATMURDERED SO DILIGENTLY. Armok's Armpit! I had to make half the fort Bonecrafters and Cooks for crying out loud! STOP BRINGING IN HUGE HERDS OF ELEPHANTS.

[Necro910]

Dear Urist McHunter's  STOP AVENGING BOATMURDERED SO DILIGENTLY. Armok's Armpit! I had to make half the fort Bonecrafters and Cooks for crying out loud! STOP BRINGING IN HUGE HERDS OF ELEPHANTS.

Dear Overseer,
At least I'm actually doing my job! Human...

With booze,
Urist McHunter

[Horizonblue]

Dear Urist McStarving,
I know you're hungry.  We have plenty of food, but you keep throwing a tantrum halfway there.
Running there, then dropping to your knees to cry and bite about it is not helping.
That by punching half the still living residents has caused others to mimic you makes it worse.
Have your pile of tears in the hallway if you will, I'll sample the rest of the food to make sure its up to your standards.
Sincerely,
The Management

[Mister Always]

Dear Overseer McHorizonblue,

How about telling him to go have his hissy fit in the magma incinerator instead?

With love,

Urist McMiner.