Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Necro910]

And really ... a thong?  I just ... I mean ... I ... I can't ... really???  What in the name of Armok am I suppose to do with an artifact thong?!?

What do you think 

[MasterMorality]

Dear Gamo Kirostuc Ameicesi Risas,

You are one of our best warriors it seems, with twenty four notable kills under your belt. You are also in charge of looking after the funds and stocks.
You just went into a mood and claimed a clothiers shop. You bought with you
Arachna Silk cloth
Rough Smoky Quartzes - two
Moss Agates
Bronze bars
Mudstone blocks

What in the world do you intend to make at a clothiers shop with all of that!? Mud stone blocks!? Bronze bars!?
I can't wait to see what you come up with, but I am somewhat concerned about your apparent lack of knowledge in the Physics department.

Intrigued,
The Overlord.

_________


Dear Gamo,

A SOCK!?  A fucking sock!?

Right:
The arachna silk is great, you've got that down.
Encrusting it with Moss agate and mudstone seems very counter productive. Who is going to feel comfortable wearing this?
The hanging rings of bronze and smoky quartz - IT'S A SOCK. IT DOESN'T NEED HANGING RINGS! IT'S NOT HANGING!
'On the sock is an image of Glumprong' - who, or what, the hell is Glumprong!?
I do however like the fact that you have taken the opportunity to reference one of our earlier artefacts, even if it is that goddamned  iron fishbarrel that all the engravers are so rabidly adoring of, and so engrave one in every ten pictures of the same damned barrel, never mind the fact that there are now four other artefacts in the fortress they can lust after.

I think we need to go back to school on this one. I don't know how you wear socks, but I have the suspicion that you're doing it wrong.

Seriously amused,
Your Overlord.

[ledgekindred]

I think we need to go back to school on this one. I don't know how you wear socks, but I have the suspicion that you're doing it wrong.

Maybe he's wearing it in place of an artifact thong?

[Vorthon]

I think we need to go back to school on this one. I don't know how you wear socks, but I have the suspicion that you're doing it wrong.

Maybe he's wearing it in place of an artifact thong?

Sigged.

[Oliolli]

'On the sock is an image of Glumprong' - who, or what, the hell is Glumprong!?

Dear Overlord.

As far as I know (as I have very little knowledge from the world of trees) it is a tree.

  -Gamo

[MasterMorality]

'On the sock is an image of Glumprong' - who, or what, the hell is Glumprong!?

Dear Overlord.

As far as I know (as I have very little knowledge from the world of trees) it is a tree.

  -Gamo

Gamo,

Ah, alright. Carry on then.

Still amused,
Overlord.

I think we need to go back to school on this one. I don't know how you wear socks, but I have the suspicion that you're doing it wrong.

Maybe he's wearing it in place of an artifact thong?

My mind. It is ruined by the image of a dwarf wearing an extremely expensive condom.
Why have you done this to me!?

[Ascarona]

Dear selfproclaimed Genius Mason,

Why, oh why, can't you build the piece of wall on the right side of said wall? After having to cancel and reïnitiate the construction 10x and failing every time because of your actions the ungodly demons of hell have now run over the entire fortress and are also munching on the remains of your family. I do hope you have an explanation for all of this, or at least a solution to stop them immediately, because this is where I draw the line and (rage)quit.

On behalf of riverstoned, thank you very much.
-A very pissed off overseer.

[Kogut]

Dear selfproclaimed Genius Leader,
b-C-w in forbidden place, then q-s over blocker, then b-C-w for real wall
Intrigued,
voices in your head.

[Tahlin]

Dear Dwarves!
I send you this message in hasty anger, in hope that you will take care of it all without problems. First of all, your doing a good job on the garbage removal, but only in the bedrooms... Could you understand that rat remains are as smelly anywhere in the fortress as the bedrooms? Next, When I order you to make some charcoal, i shouldn't have to tell you that your job is to do that, one of you are meant to do it. No problems. And next, I want this part of the note put outside the fortress. If your a migrant, DO NOT come here with the most useful jobs ever, I DON'T NEED SOAP MAKERS! /Love Tahlin

[Baron Baconeer]

'On the sock is an image of Glumprong' - who, or what, the hell is Glumprong!?

Dear Overlord.

As far as I know (as I have very little knowledge from the world of trees) it is a tree.

  -Gamo

Gamo,

Ah, alright. Carry on then.

Still amused,
Overlord.

Not just any tree, an EVIL tree.

--Urist Mclearned

[MasterMorality]

Attention all,

There are at the moment around three or four of you idling with no reason. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't mind so much.
However, we have just repelled an invasion and several ambushes - yes it's that time of year again. I expect we'll see more.
The only person even interested in recovering the wounded so far is one of the soldier who was in the battle! How many of you went out today and killed three invaders and then attempted to recover the wounded, despite having your right arm cut open?

Those few: You're not idle, you're shifting bodies, move it! If I don't see action, you're joining the cavern guard!
The rest of you: You can stop dumping rocks for a second and help where it matters.

Mildly irritated,
The Overlord.

(I'm playing as my modded race, but I keep calling them 'dwarves' gah!)

[imperium3]

Dear all,

Yes, killing that giant feathery dinosaur was a mighty achievement and one that our military can be proud of. However, could we please stop patting each other on the back and remove its rotting corpse from the dining room?

Regards,
The Management.

[Korva]

"Dear" Urist McEverydwarf

Will someone for the love of all that's holy to you pick up that soldier with the broken spine, hip and leg and get her to hospital already? Stop idling and help that poor sod who risked her life for you all She even tried to keep fighting after getting mauled, that's what I call true dwarven spirit. You're perfectly happy to bring her food and water, so I know you're now total bastards. Get on with it! So help me, I'm going to throw some walls and a roof around her and declare it an emergency hospital. If she gets an infection and dies because it's taking ages to get your arses out of the booze kegs, someone will pay.

Unkind regards,
Your pissed-off overmind.

[ledgekindred]

Dear Filthy Trogs,
One of your kind just got ripped to shreds by one of our war badgers and another had his brain punched out by one of our children. Quit trying to act tough and sneak into the fort.  If you manage to get past the babies and small furry animals, you're only going to wind up in a cage trap and become target practice.  So just cut it out.


Dear Urist McScaredies,
Did you notice that a child just punched to death of one of those filthy trogs?  There is no legitimate reason to run off scared when you see one.  Just punch or bite it a few times and it'll fall to pieces.   Get over it and get back to work, 'k?

Yrs Haughtily,
Fearless and Omnipotent Overseer

[billybobfred]

'On the sock is an image of Glumprong' - who, or what, the hell is Glumprong!?

Dear Overlord.

As far as I know (as I have very little knowledge from the world of trees) it is a tree.

  -Gamo

Gamo,

Ah, alright. Carry on then.

Still amused,
Overlord.

Not just any tree, an EVIL tree.

--Urist Mclearned

"Evil tree"? Talk about redundant.

Urist McDendrophobic