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[Peewee]

Dear Benev'lent Overseer

Aye, we marksdwarves know ye want us ta ...*snip for space*

Ummm... You do know that you don't need to transcribe your accent?

[Bdthemag]

Dear Benev'lent Overseer

Aye, we marksdwarves know ye want us ta ...*snip for space*

Ummm... You do know that you don't need to transcribe your accent?

Real dwarves have accents even when they don't have to.

[Hammerstar]

Dear Urist McJenkins,

I know how it is, being nervous before your first real taste of combat. However, I do not think I should have to explain the stupidity of leaving your squad, who had been ordered to wait by the bridge, FYI, to charge headlong into the goblins, in the narrow hallways designed specifically to funnel invaders into the Hell Blender of saw blades waiting for them. And if they somehow made it through, you would have dropped the bridge from underneath them, sending them to their deaths in the menacing spikes below. I don't care about your explanation of a "battle trance," it doesn't change the fact you got your arse kicked.

In this narrow hallway, you're damn lucky Lutas Worldcleave and his squad were able to save you, considering fighting in such cramped conditions is difficult for a group, and you're even luckier that you didn't get caught in one of the traps yourself when you passed out after the goblins broke your leg. Meanwhile, you were barely able to injure even one of them, giving him a small cut on the toe. Great job, soldier.

Consider yourself extremely fortunate that your injuries are limited to one broken leg and one broken arm, and you will recover. Understand that you're being shifted to a new squad, that won't be going anywhere near the frontlines in such an operation again, nor given such an important role as the one you bungled. Your task will be to guard the demon pit, where our Succubi swarm and Incubi bulls live, and you will be taking your orders from the Incubi, since they've already proven to be better fighters than you.

Your extremely disappointed Militia Commander

[Hakar]

Dear Urist McGrumpybaroness,

It would appear that you have fallen several levels into the river next to our fortress, after a routine removal of a single tile of stone proved too much for your legendary mining skill. Although you seem to have survived this fall, rest assured that none of the other inhabitants of Equalbronze feel inclined to rescue you, on account of you being a whiny, tantrum-throwing bitch.
To be honest, even I found that your constant foul mood after being promoted to baroness was getting on my nerves, despite the huge rooms with golden furniture you have been given. You should feel lucky that your tomb has just been finished, and the engravers even have a little room left on the walls to immortalize this situation.

Hoping to see carp eat the flesh from your broken bones soon,
The Overseer.

[Indricotherium]

Dear Benev'lent Overseer

Aye, we marksdwarves know ye want us ta ...*snip for space*

Ummm... You do know that you don't need to transcribe your accent?

Transcribin' accents be what sets dwarfs apart from th' gobbo's me laddy! Har har! Thet an' th' beards o'course.

[TolyK]

Dear Urist McIdiot Mr. Outpost Liason,
It has come to my attention that you swam across our goblin running-water trap.
I remember I had locked the gate, but somehow you decided to jump off the platform into the river.

Sincerely,
Overseer.

P.S. Thanks for testing that trap, now the 2 camels that were chasing you fell down the waterfall. Thank you very much for reminding us to remove those grates that were designed for scenery and waterfall-watching

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

Dear Benev'lent Overseer

Aye, we marksdwarves know ye want us ta ...*snip for space*

Ummm... You do know that you don't need to transcribe your accent?

But accent 're t' be r'spected and liked!

[Urist Imiknorris]

And they generally come with humorous euphemisms and curses.

[Funburns]

Dear philosopher nobles,

While I'm intrigued by the recent discussion of eye dialects being used to convey the thoughts of our comrades, I have recently been troubled by some implications of this practice entering the lore-books of our community. In order to properly address this issue, I've decided to pull out some artifact pamphlets written by other members of our esteemed circle, who were writing in a somewhat different context at the time (I believe they were analyzing the ethics of transcribing human works).

Found in that TVTropes article which I pulled from the shelves at roughly 11:50 pm Pacific time on March 19th, 2011:

Most importantly, though, it assumes that there is single "correct" way to speak English, which is certainly not true.
[...]
Also, since standard English is not spelled phonetically, a Funetik Aksent can be used to give the impression of an uneducated speaker even when the pronunciation is perfectly standard (as with the name of this trope).
[...]
Conversely, some readers will read such implications into texts written in a form of Funetik Aksent regardless of whether the author actually intended them or not.
[...]
The Funetik Aksent  is often used to imply that the accented characters are less educated, less intelligent, or less literate than the reader or the protagonist. A classic example of this is Gone With The Wind, where the black slaves' and poor whites' accents are given phonetically but the white owners' accent (which is every bit as thick) isn't. The implication is that the slaveowners' language is proper English while the slaves and poor whites just aren't smart enough to speak properly.

These points suggest using an eye dialect for any reason separates the writer from not just the character, but whatever social category the characters can be read as intended representations of. The most pertinent tome for this topic, Wikipedia, has some writing directly on this point, and citations for it as well. This separation appears especially likely to create a sense of distance (WikiP: "a sympathetic sense of superiority") above the social category which the writer imagines the subject occupies and the reader doesn't.

While it is true that Dwarf Fortress's dwarves aren't real, do we really want to keep training ourselves to consider accents, and by extension the speakers of those accents, inferior? I would guess this is based on a cultural trend to view eye dialects as funny, perhaps because we imagine the speaker is making a mistake that the reader, with their "correct" accent, would never make. Is it a mistake to having an accent of otherwise correct Dwarven (English) different from one's own?

...

Anyways. I'm also frustrated with my comrades for not telling me they began running low on booze while I was micromanaging some defenses. "Cancels action: Give Water" is not an acceptable way to learn that the brewery has been out of commission for months, especially not when it's the dead of winter. At least it didn't cause any deaths this time. I can forgive them.

[Lielac]

Dear Thikut McCraftdorf,

Yes. I understand you were taken by a few mood. Yes. I appreciate that you found everything you required.

BUT.

You had a perfectly good workshop! Why did you go to the one closest to the entrance?

[Doradan]

Dear Mr. Mayor

It has come to my attention that dispite the fact that the mountainhomes, in there effort to allocate an armory outpost outside the reach of goblins, placed us above abundant iron deposits to produce arms and armor for the war effort, you still mandate the creation of gold items. We do not use (and indeed, have no intention of using) resources to trade for anything but the valuable resources needed for the fort's survival (such as wood). You have an Artifact Milky Quartz Weaponrack in your quarters. Be happy with that.

Former Expedition Leader and Current Manager, 'Megaminer' McUrist

[malroth]

Dear Former Expedition leader "Megaminer" Mc Ursit

I'm the mayor now so what I say goes.  By the way I also demand that 10 Of our steel bars be made into spears of the highest quality in order to be placed into a spike trap in order to decorate my room. A High quality lever connected to said spike trap forbidden to all dwarves except me in an adjacent square is also needed. However under no circumstances are orders to pull said lever to be issued under any circu....  OOOH a shiny lever with a pull order I wonder what it does?

Signed  The mayor

[Lagslayer]

Dear Urist McMayor,

Chipmunk leather is indeed a fantastic material; tough, yet soft and luxurious. However, such a fabulous material is scarce at our fortress. You must understand that it is inappropriate to levy punishments upon your fellow dwarves for not having this material on hand to meet your mandates. If at some point anyone decides to carry through on these punishments, I will be holding you personally responsible. If the punished dwarf is imprisoned for any amount of time, you will spend an equal amount of time in solitary confinement, deprived of food and drink. If the punished dwarf is killed, you will receive 10 days in the magma pool for each level in useful skills he has.

signed, Your Stern But Fair Overseer

[Sutremaine]

I would guess this is based on a cultural trend to view eye dialects as funny, perhaps because we imagine the speaker is making a mistake that the reader, with their "correct" accent, would never make.

I like to use lolspeak, internet slang, and capslock when the situation calls for some verbal slapstick. 'Course, if I did that for more than a couple of sentences, quite a lot of the people here would think of Homestuck instead.

[Sarvesh Mossbeard]

Dear Urist. The reason you were locked in this room with naught but a bed, food, a table, and a barrel of booze was because frankly, we needed you to pull those levers as emergency only. We did everything to kept you happy. But its all for naught if you decide to sleep and/or take a break during a goblin siege.