Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[GreatWyrmGold]

(Translated from Draconic)

Dear Dagger McSpearmen,
Thank you for choosing to accompany me on my journeys through the wild. I could understand you deciding not to follow a little dragonman who named himself after a dwarf that died after attacking a hydra. (Although he DID get a few good licks in). Two of you have helped me kill a named leopard, and all three of you helped me with that jaguar. However, said jaguar brings up a point.

Please do not steal my "kills". I am always the first down there, and have started every battle with a well-thrown cougar lung that I had prepared for me before I started adventuring. Therefore I believe I should be allowed to have the killing blow on all major enemies. Thank you.

[Urist Imiknorris]

If I wanted to slay demons most foul with a pool noodle made of nerf, I'd be playing Hippy Elf Commune instead of Dwarf Fortress. You're lucky you're still marginally useful, or else you'd be in the troll pit, armed only with your mockery of Armok's blessings.

Why is it that all the stories of adamantine artifacts are like this? Is it because adamantine blades that kill everything are rare, or is it just because said deathblades the best-case scenario?

Then again, I have never had an adamantine war hammer. For me, that's grounds for savescumming.

[billybobfred]

I'd love to have an adamantine warhammer. Give it to my justice-dealer.

... Just one, though.

[Lex Talionias]

totally what this guy said. if you want your hammer dwarf to do no harm give the bastard the bright blue pillow hammer!

[Urist Imiknorris]

A physical version of the Hammercratic oath?

[Gokajern]

I had a legendary adamantine war hammer on the captain of the guard, and blue candy or not they still kill y'know.

[Qinetix]

Dear trapper , I understand that you hate the sun , but please stop catching vermin , even if they make good pets , I need pigeons for food pets and geting rid of some lag , please try to do your job correctly.

From the Guy lurking into his room near the computer with his eyes right on the screen hoping for you to do so.

[TolyK]

I had a legendary adamantine war hammer on the captain of the guard, and blue candy or not they still kill y'know.

this is not true. they kill with adamantine hammers because they can swing the weapon REALLY fast and attack many times. however, they only hit your dwarves thrice.

[Gokajern]

I had a legendary adamantine war hammer on the captain of the guard, and blue candy or not they still kill y'know.

this is not true. they kill with adamantine hammers because they can swing the weapon REALLY fast and attack many times. however, they only hit your dwarves thrice.

Well one of my dwarves died in the hands of Urist McPsychoticCaptainoftheGuard who had an adamantine legendary war hammer. Whether they attack real quickly or not legendary adamantine war hammers kill other dwarves, even in the hands of a dabbling hammerdwarf. Maybe it's unlikely but the possibility remains and it happened to me.

[Zrk2]

Reply 1000!

Dear Dwarves,

Grow a freaking brain!

The Management

[Iados]

Dear Urist McMiner

next time i order you to dig a channel, try to not cause cave ins. you broke both arms of Urist McUnluckyMiner and turned our only tamed animal in a +engraving of a Stray One-Humped Camel+! Now, go to dig that wall for the magma forges.

Your overlord




after 5 minutes...

Dear Urist McMiner

try to don't stand in magma next time. You know, it's quite hot.

RIP,
your overlord

[Hungry Elephant]

Dear Urist McEmo,

I really understand that your friend Urist McJackalIdiotHauler decided to went out to retrieve the shoes of a dead migrant due to a goblin ambush(it doesn't really matter if they were good silk spider shoes, it was stupid anyway) and get impaled by the first goblin spearman. And lost the child in the same stupid way.
But really I do not think that is fair from you to go around trowing tantrum, breaking furnitures and punching people and animals around.
Just act like a real Dorf man!
My past three fort failed because of you and your emo friends, transforming my beautiful and functional fortress in a battleground of anarchy and madness.

Last time I have an idea of letting all you die outside of the fort from famine and thirst and keep inside only my initial sevens.

Cordially your,
Fort Managment

[Samuel]

Dear Urist McCook,
a bowl of beer with raccoon tallow floating in it does not constitute a stew. Save the booze for drinking, will you?

Signed,
A Bemused Overseer.

[TolyK]

(you can turn off cooking booze in [ z ] (stocks)>food menu

[Greiger]

To Crossbowdracon of Ravendangers.

When I designed your patrol route I expected you to go to the EXACT POINT I designated as a waypoint.  And even then, it's a wall patrol.  Fortifications one one side, long drop on the other, not hard to mess it up.

But fine, you wanna get a little creative and choose a slightly different location as the waypoint?  Fine, whatever, as long as you stay on the wall and do the route.

What is NOT fine is getting to one point, turning around, coming off the wall, leaving through the front gate, climbing up the mountain, and then walking to a ledge before turning around and doing it all in reverse.  I don't care that it's "within 3 urists" of your waypoint, stay inside the damn walls before you waste some perfectly good masterwork leather.  As punishment you get to watch as the miners deconstruct your favorite ledge before your eyes.

The Administration.