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[ungulateman]

To the queen:

Please please please send me someone I can use. I got enough metalsmiths, but I havent got anyone to make my trading depot!!!

Overlord.

Overlord.

Assign someone to do it under "Architecture", under the "Other" heading of the labours screen, or by using Dwarf Therapist. Skill levels aren't important for this.

Your King (Crossdressing is fun, alright?)

[Vehudur]

To the queen:

Please please please send me someone I can use. I got enough metalsmiths, but I havent got anyone to make my trading depot!!!

Overlord.

Overlord.

Assign someone to do it under "Architecture", under the "Other" heading of the labours screen, or by using Dwarf Therapist. Skill levels aren't important for this.

Your King (Crossdressing is fun, alright?)

(mildly inappropriate)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wait, you were cross dressing?

Also, I've gotten so used to DT that I don't remember how to assign labors without it >.<

As funny as that sounds.

[mr_seeker]

To the queen:

Please please please send me someone I can use. I got enough metalsmiths, but I havent got anyone to make my trading depot!!!

Overlord.

Overlord.

Assign someone to do it under "Architecture", under the "Other" heading of the labours screen, or by using Dwarf Therapist. Skill levels aren't important for this.

Your King (Crossdressing is fun, alright?)

Note to self: If dwarves dont do it themselves, command them to do it...

[schussel]

Sender: Cursor the Allmighty  (aka the Controller)
Recepient: Urist McSuperMarksdwarf

Dear Urist McSuperMarksdwarf ...

i honor your faith in my command and your more than lacking moving skills but following the order to get near that fortification resulting constantly standing about 2 tiles away or running 1 floor below  into the intended killzone does not make my appreciation for your mad combatcries grow. I cheerish your agenda of personal choice and reluctance to follow my (repeated) godly directions just to step ONE tile so you can fulfill your destiny (e.G. raining death to infid-Elves and goblins from above) but to ignore ammo-Stockpiles and trying to bash in the heads of 15 invading orcs on elephants with your crossbow but .. the Bloodgod called and he tells no more dwarf jelly on his incoming box please, thank you.
 I please beg you to consult to this matter appropriatly and maybe forward this message to your  BFF Urist Mcidontneedweaponsiamthehulkhimself aka legendary Axedwarf that just in combat situations (not training understandingly) takes any weapon besides bare fists as not honorable.
May the blood wash away all your sins and the water of our dining room well wash this blood as well.

greetings the Controller

Message 2:

Sender: Cursor the Allmighty  (aka the Controller aka the Master Planner)
Recepient: Urist McMasterbuilder

Dear Urist McMasterbuilder(v .16),

we got a serious issue here my friend. If one last time you manage to stand on the forbidden spot (you know .. that with the suspended wall designated) just to wall yourself in(/or out) or channel yourself onto the cavein trap plattform or demonstrating that magma is indeed hot) i will gather that clouder of kittens on the next swingbridge and bridgepult it onto your miserable being until your face comes off from tousand little claws clinging to your facemeat. The Bloodgod approves, thank you.

Furiously steaming ..
the Controller


PS to the board: since .16 dwarfes ignore suspended walls and build from those places again .. how to circumvent .. its annoying to play that lottery till one dwarf gets that correct
 

[WrathNail]

Dear Immigrants,

Gates are closed until you learn skills that are actually useful. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
Not your Mayor

P.S: Loitering near the outer walls will be punished by bolt through the head.

[Chandrak]

Dear Residents of The Beguiler of Souls,

I realize that dwarves are inquisitive by nature. I realize that any unclaimed article of clothing in the fortress is yours for the taking should you so desire it. I also realize that you dislike miasma.

However, it is uncouth to mob the bodies of dead dwarves in a frenzy of item claiming only to whine about the miasma that spreads because you were too busy stealing Urist McDeadguy's socks to bury him properly.

Please direct further complaints to the 4 Forgotten Beasts trapped in staffing the Labyrinth of Forgotten Horrors.

[StreetPizza]

Dear Urist McEngineer.

When I tell you to pull the lever to close the floodgate, that means I want you to pull the lever now, not after you have a drink and a mushroom burger with your fellow Urists, at which point the farm room meant to be lightly flooded will be full of fish and completely frickin' useless until the miners dig canals to drain the room.

Signed,
Batman

[Akura]

Dear Rhesus Macaque,
  Congratulations on your successful pilfering of a rough star sapphire! I'm surprised at it, I don't even know how it got out there... While he have located other sapphire deposits, almost all of which have had a star sapphire among them, the theft of even one will cause some consternation once we get our gem cutter/setter trained. So, again, congratulations on your successful heist.

Signed,
Overlord of Oilwashed.

PS. Your family didn't make it. They were all hunted down, slashed, smashed, broken, impaled, and strangled. Including one fiesty little fella who was chased around for several days before being caught up with and a ≡steel sword≡ was driven into him/her. Fortunately, we recovered an emerald-dyed rope reed thread from them.

[cyclotis04]

Dear Elven Merchants:

I appreciate your continued trade over the years, and the exotic animals you bring have always been met with great eagerness, as they make excellent guards and creatures for our zoo. It has come to my attention, however, that this most recent season you brought with and attempted to sell Icemi Ruyavamiceli the Tigerman diagnoser (whom you call "stray" and "tame.") I would like to inform you that we Dwarves here at Imagewhip do not tolerate slavery or the selling of sentient persons, and that we find your suggestions of either butchering him or assigning him as someone's pet appalling

I hope we can continue to do honest business together for many years.

Sincerely,
Urist McKing

[Urist McTaverish]

Dear Urist McMiner

Yes, I realize that warm stone is a good indicator of magma nearby, but for the love of Armok the magma is BELOW you.  Just dig out the obsidian I asked you for!

Yours,
The Voice In All Your Heads

[mr_seeker]

Dear Urist McTransfer,

Please note that the refuse pit is linked to a lever, which causes it to flush the pit. I dont take any responsibility for things that will happen (drowning for example) when you are flushed down into the sewers, because you want to recover some dead animal. To prevent you from getting lost, I installed a safety device. Please know that this is a step-on lever, not some "Sesame open" door.

[Zrk2]

Dear everyone,

Show a little respect and play with that new present you head gave you, it's called a brain.

Sincerely,
Not an idiot, your executioner, benevolent dictator, etc, etc. beloved of all, his royall majisterial, so on and so forth, ad infinitum, Emperor of the Damned, Zrk2

[Vehudur]

Dear Urist McMiner,

I know there is a ramp that heads down into that lava channel, and it's a shorter path than the bridge, that doesn't mean you should try to use it and then cancel your job because you're too dumb to see the bridge right next to it.

[Krath]

Dear Urist McGuard,

I understand you're thirsty. A Dwarf needs his beer. You need to refill your waterskin, and that's okay. What's not okay is you doing this when a goblin siege arrives. When the goblins attack and our most skilled dwarves decide it'd be a great time to eat/sleep/drink/take a break, I can't help but feel angry.

Signed,
Your magma loving overlord.

[Musashi]

Dear Urist McEveryone,

please stop building doors, walls and floodgates while you are on the wrong, dangerous, and fun side.

No love.


Dear Mayor Urist,

you seem to have important needs when it comes to rooms. I had to destroy the office of the more humble, less needy bookkeeper in order to keep you satisfied. Also, twice in a row, you seem to think it is a brilliant idea to forbid the exporting of iron items. Please ignore the digging that is taking place around your brand new hugemongous office. Yes, there is a long tunnel ending in that office, yep. It's an air vent. Really. It would be a shame if you came to lack air because the wrong door happened to be tightly closed. Yes. I'm closing it with a floodgate because it is an extremely pretty floodgate, you can look at it while you are working. I can't wait until you order another ridiculously spacious bedroom again.

Have much fun.


Dear Urist McMilitary,

WILL YOU TRAIN THE **** UP.

Have fun, too.


Sincerely,
the mysterious presence allowing you all to live for an unknown reason.