Dear Urist McHammerdwarf and comrades, my adamantine wearing military friends.
I appreciate the fact that you have been training hard, I appreciate the fact that you have been quick and eager to learn the way of 'Hammer Meet Head' and I thought you would appreciate the alternating training/leave pattern I have set up for you.
However, I have one tiny bone to pick with you, the bone of a titan.
When I, in all my divine wisdom did speak to you "Kill the great jungle titan", I was glad to see you run gloriously to battle, you had your uniform on, you had all the supplies you needed, yet for some reason you all decided that you should run to the military holdings to seek the glory of battle.
I regret to inform you that the glory of battle is seldom found under beds.
You did not sleep, you did not go gather supplies, you stood there doing nothing, you were apparently very happy.
I gave you the command to attack again, I was extremely happy to note that you reacted vigorously, up till you started attacking the plump helmet at the dining room table with an anger unbeknownst to all.
With your appetite and thirst quenched I could only assume that you would now charge to battle...And charge you did, straight back to your comfy barracks.
You attacked the few foxes that posed a little annoyance to the base with no problem whatsoever, so i can only assume this was deliberate, You should know that if this happens again when I have trained spearmen you will be used to test numerous devices.
I am only glad that one brave warrior stood against the titan and was victorious.
Your Appalled and quite Amused Administrator.
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Dear Catten Avuzunib, dog and pet of UristMchammerdwarf,
We are writing to inform you that we are indeed aware of your great heroic acts.
Knowing that your master was busy elsewhere, you ferociously retaliated to the attack of the jungle titan.
Not only did you defend the ENTIRE fort, felling the Titan without being notably damaged at all.
The way that the titan's attempts to gouge you glanced off whenever they hit was astounding.
If it were possible, i would award you the position of militia commander, however the powers that see would not see this as a productive idea.
Your reward shall be that i will not kill your bumbling oaf of a master for at least another year.
Once more, thankyou for the great deed that you have done for the fort.
Your Master's Appalled and quite Amused Administrator.
P.S Good boy!
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Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves (Read 1554396 times)