Dear Military Urists.
It is I Durmatagno AKA Lord Hamster, you're humble overseer and master of dark magics.
Fortress Copperscale is thriving. We've had only two major attacks, both of which ended with only a few of our brave grizzlies injured. You have done well in dismembering zombies, and humans on horses who thought you would make easy prey. Unfortunately, I have a few complaints.
First off, which one of you keeps dumping their stew in the entry way? The stew is your rations, I can see your fellow dwarves either have eaten theirs, or still have them. That said, every time a fight finishes, there is a stew left on the ramp leading into the entry hall. Llama Heart stew, blueberry stew, and twice now potato stew. It's only ever one at a time, so which one of you is just dumping it there after a fight? If I don't get an answer soon, you will no longer get days off.
Secondly, could you please stop going to the bridge that seals our dump? There is nothing in that room but a spot to dump garbage, and then you leave to dump it into the pit where it can rot into miasma without bothering anyone. So tell me, why are there three steel morningstars down there? I didn't order any of those dumped, I don't mass dump, and they didn't come from our prisoners. We currently can't retrieve them, on account of the four zombie goblins loitering around down there occasionally getting slapped by falling junk. They are there because you guys didn't want to kill them, just kept slapping them, despite having weapons.
Finally, please do not scare the kobolds. There's only 33 known to be left alive, and six of them are in our zoo. There is a window there, and they aren't hostile, they aren't even the one surviving thief that still shows up every spring. It is only three of you in the Axe Squad, every time you go to the viewing area, you freak out and they scatter to hide in the back. We are trying to domesticate and repopulate them, you scarring them in such a way is not conducive to this. If this does not end, I will send you down to deal with the Iron-skinned monster hanging around in the waterways of the caverns.
PS. Dearest Baroness, you have had your title for one year, and your only mandates have been to ban the exporting of Querns, and the production of helms, which we already export. So I cannot understand why you appear to be one of the only unhappy dwarves in the fort. Thankfully you do not tantrum, but you seem upset that you aren't copying scrolls and codexes anymore. I don't know why, you are still the official scribe of our library, if this continues I will have to remove you from the position and give you a few months to cool down before I let you actually go back to it.
Author
Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves (Read 1553390 times)