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[Shockwave07]

Dwarves of the Coast,

I realize I might not be the best at providing goods for you yet, but if you must hunt vermin, please do not form conga lines through the stockpiles!

Spread out and find your own vermin to catch...

Again,

A mysterious voice in your heads.

[brewer bob]

Dear Horses,

I know you like to hide and think it's funny, but please stop climbing up the citron trees. You know perfectly well that you can't find your way down from there, and will starve to death. Despite what you may think, I am not planning to murder you, though, I might change my mind soon, since my sensitive fruit gathering dwarf was spooked by your skeletal remains.

Signed, your not-at-all-amused Overseer

[Craftsdwarf boi]

Dear Urist Mcfarmboy(s)
Please stop planting plump helmets due to our seed shortage.
Signed,
an unknown entity

[Imic]

Dear Urist.
COOK THE FUCKING FOOD YOU ABSOLUTE PILLOCK!
Yours, Imic.

[Naturegirl1999]

Dear Urnst

If you need surgery, please remain in the hospital. Please do not cancel your surgery

Dear surgeon
Do the surgeries on those who need it, you have a hospital to work at now

[pikachu17]

Dear Urist Mcfarmboy(s)
Please stop planting plump helmets due to our seed shortage.
Signed,
an unknown entity

You want them to not plant them, because you don't have plump helmet spawn? Or are you saying you want them to plant seeds you don't have much of?

[Craftsdwarf boi]

Since I then did not know that one is able to produce seeds by brewing, there was a seed shortage and they still attempted to plant them.

[Splint]

Dear Urist McBabyCarrier

Just because the armored militia is swarming around the corner to kill that wearbeast does not make it okay to render that 4 year old's sacrifice void by risking you and your infant's unarmored lives by trying to "help" kill it. Just take your kid and run. it's not that hard, especially not when someone else's kid was brave enough to slow it down so you could get to safety. You only got in the militia's way it was only blind luck that the axe recruit took the thing's head off before it could bite you or your daughter.

Signed, overseer.

[TD1]

But the fact is that there is a difference between trying to save a child and killing a child simply because you have reason to suspect that they may be involved in some wrongdoing. You do not have to kill children out of pity. We are in great danger from our own government, and for your family to be harmed while you are in some trouble because they had no idea you might be in some trouble is disgusting

_{Just a generator, nothing to see here.}

[Dunamisdeos]

I asked that talk to text generator thingamajig to generate a note to Urist by giving it "Dear Urist" as a base. It was surprisingly DF-appropriate.

Dear Urist"

I guess you're right. It's a bit embarrassing, but I don't want to be known as the man who didn't think twice about posting a picture of our heads.

[JEB Davis]

Dear all Urist McDorfs in the military,

Please wear the metal footwear as prescribed by your uniform.

Thank you.

(yes, I know this is a known issue)

[《monty》]

Queen Urist von Armorstand III,



When this stockpile is full I am dropping you and and your collection into the volcano.

[Superdorf]

Ahhahaha. Spoken like a true Bay12er... but why kill her off? You'll just get another mandating monarch in replacement, no?

[《monty》]

Ahhahaha. Spoken like a true Bay12er... but why kill her off? You'll just get another mandating monarch in replacement, no?

I just need one who likes menacing spikes and nothing else. So I guess Vlad the Impaler is the ideal DF monarch.

[Deus Machina]

I dunno, I'm usually pretty happy with the ones that like shields, or hammers, or swords.
Had a military that kept equipped with shields solely because of one baron's military spending plan.