To the citizens of Bridgethunders,
Yes, I know there are Giant Flies up in the air above our fortress. There have been Giant Flies flying over our fortress regularly for the past ten years. They are both harmless and edible, and the barracks for the Marksdwarf squad is situated on the roof for this very reason. Furthermore, every last one of you is wearing your militia-issued steel mail shirt and short sword. There is no conceivable way for them to harm you. Please, for the love of the gods, stop panicking at the sight of them, abandoning your work, and running around atop our walls in full view of the besieging army. Unlike the aforementioned insects, they are both willing and able to cause you significant bodily injury.
Your overseer.
To Vicira Quicoyemeni, Queen of the Elves of Fevumina,
We regret to inform you that Mame Nedumeyi, the diplomat your dispatched to our fortress of Bridgethunders, capital of the Creative Dyes, has passed away following a spectacular lapse in judgement. As you may be aware, we bear you no particular animus, as evidenced by the past ten years of peaceful trade. Your merchants' cargoes of exotic animals and unusual musical instruments have always been welcome and appreciated here, and in return we have complied with your requests to limit our woodcutting. However, this year, your diplomat's arrival was significantly delayed, presumably due to the recent attack on our fortress by the Nakashim. As a result, he did not arrive at Bridgethunders until mid-Summer, coinciding with the arrival of the human merchant caravan and their accompanying diplomatic mission. Upon concluding his meeting and retiring to the tavern, Mame Nedumeyi suffered his bout of temporary insanity, as he proceeded to attack the bodyguard of the human Guild Representative with his bare hands, in full view of his well-armed companions and multiple visiting mercenaries, with predictable results.
We would like to repeat that he brought his death upon himself, and that we of Bridgethunders were in no way responsible for his passing. However, should you blame us for his misadventure, please take note of the condition of the landscape outside of our front gates. Pay particular attention to the hundreds of skeletons, amid thousands of shattered bolts and pools of blood. We hope you draw the proper conclusions. We also suggest that you take greater care in the selection and training of your diplomatic personnel in the future.
Limul Lederar, Queen of the Creative Dyes
P.S. We also regret to inform you that we are presently unable to return Mr. Nedumeyi's remains to his family. Frankly, there were a lot of pieces, and we have no idea where they all went.
To the Smiths' Guild of Bridgethunders,
As part of efforts to improve our standard of living and commemorate the tenth anniversary of our founding, we recently commissioned a series of fine statues from you all. We required only that their subject matter relate to our fortress in some way, but left the specific details up to your discretion. We recently took delivery of your works, and while we are satisfied overall, we do have a question. Most of you produced fine depictions of our glorious history, notable citizens, or our gods. However, we would like to ask Catten Edtulbomrek as to why she saw fit to produce no fewer than five gold statues of Etur Logemmegom being hit by a feather wood minecart when she was one year old? Etur suffered almost no injuries from the event, nor was it in any way notable or memorable.
Regards, the civic council of Bridgethunders.
This is an exceptional gold statue of Etur Paintednature.
The item is an exceptionally designed image of Etur Paintednature the dwarf in gold by Catten Edtubomrek. Etur Paintednature is falling. The artwork relates to the collision of the dwarf Etur Paintednature with an obstacle in Bridgethunders in the midspring of 103.
Author
Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves (Read 1554861 times)