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[pikachu17]

Dear Litast,
I had you pegged as 'Useless Litast' the second you came to our dying fort, as you had no useable skills. I was wrong.
when Tulon(the marksdwarf from the caravan that pretty much single-handedly saved our fort.) was separated from his caravan, and attacked by giant magpie zombies, you rushed to help. you died a heroic death saving Tulon from the same.
Today, my dwarves toast your sacrifice. may, we honor your memory.
love, Pikachu17
P.S. you will be the only dwarf in my fort with the honor of being buried. however the tomb will be locked, in case you turn into a zombie.

[Weizen1988]

Dear 5 (soon to be 6) dead Urists,
Why did you pick up basalt blocks and take a nap (a sixth is currently still alive sleeping under a tree for armok knows why, hasnt been spotted yet) when I ordered you back inside the gates into your burrow to escape the goblin siege? You werent hauling them, you were listed as "no job" so why were you just milling around carrying them? Its your own faults the gate had to be shut when you were 3 squares from safety, you could have dropped those rocks. Instead you stood around until you saw goblins, -then- dropped them and scattered when it was already too late.

[imperium3]

Dear Urist McMilitiaCommander,

I don't know why you decided to do a quick jog to and from the dining room on the other side of the fortress at the very time that cyclops reached our gates. What I do know is that you abandoned your fellow soldier to a horrible death. And if he had still been around, maybe the cyclops wouldn't have proceeded to kill you as well.

Regards,
Your overseer.

P.S. I suppose I should be cross with the marksdwarves who pulled the same stunt, but they at least came back and turned the beast into a pincushion, whereas you came back and died like a sissy.

[spazyak]

Dear Guard dworfs
Look, I get it that vultures scare some of you, especialy when they come back as undead after you kill them. But how the hell did you guys let one get so deep it was harrassing the magma forges, even causing one dwarf to fall into magma! Either you guys are going to do your jobs or I'll see how far into in the black wastes full of undead you can go.


From,
An annoyed overseer

Ps. At least no one had to bury a body.

[imperium3]

If you put an impassable tile of your magma forge over the magma, then it should be impossible for any dwarves to fall in.

[Evonix]

Dear exspidision leader:
You punched an alligator so hard all it's teeth flew out... Can I have your autograph?
An amazed overseer

Dear Clubbing(macing) mum:
I know dwarves are famed for getting the strangest sorts of problems but how in the name of the circus did you get stuck half starved, at the top of a tree, in the middle of a lake, deep underground, WITH YOUR #### KID!?!? I do not even understand how this could have been possible.
An amazed overseer.

[Nep Nep]

Dear Dwarves
Stop keeping an item in a building site and suspending it when the item can be used to build it being the same material, I get that it's a designated item, but come on!

[TheBiggerFish]

Dear Clubbing(macing) mum:
I know dwarves are famed for getting the strangest sorts of problems but how in the name of the circus did you get stuck half starved, at the top of a tree, in the middle of a lake, deep underground, WITH YOUR #### KID!?!? I do not even understand how this could have been possible.
An amazed overseer.

That's...Like...All of the things, at once.

Just watch the tree be load-bearing and magma come in from somewhere.

[spazyak]

Dear Clubbing(macing) mum:
I know dwarves are famed for getting the strangest sorts of problems but how in the name of the circus did you get stuck half starved, at the top of a tree, in the middle of a lake, deep underground, WITH YOUR #### KID!?!? I do not even understand how this could have been possible.
An amazed overseer.

That's...Like...All of the things, at once.

Just watch the tree be load-bearing and magma come in from somewhere.

So the mum dies, babby soon after, dad goes on a tantrum and someone bashes the lever holding the lava back.

[Azereiah]

Dear Urist: Get off the top of that volcano. You do not have wings and the volcano doesn't have stairs that go up the 8 Z-Levels it would take to save you. Thank you.

[Dezzo]

Dear Agudners.

Please stop getting into bar fights with the sergal mercenaries.
I know you think you can take them when you're so heavily intoxicated but... you can't. Stop trying. The hospital isn't even fully finished yet.

Sincerely, Dez.

PS The inverse goes for the nevreans. Bird people are fragile.

[Atarlost]

Dear Iden McParttimesoldier,

When you are called to go into battle you should stop what you're doing and go.  Hint: stopping a hauling job means dropping the heavy object you're carrying.  It will let you get to the fight faster and it will allow someone else to take over the hauling job while you're busy. 

[Fleeting Frames]

Dear Clubbing(macing) mum:
I know dwarves are famed for getting the strangest sorts of problems but how in the name of the circus did you get stuck half starved, at the top of a tree, in the middle of a lake, deep underground, WITH YOUR #### KID!?!? I do not even understand how this could have been possible.
An amazed overseer.

That's...Like...All of the things, at once.

Just watch the tree be load-bearing and magma come in from somewhere.

So the mum dies, babby soon after, dad goes on a tantrum and someone bashes the lever holding the lava back.

Nah. Watch it to be too-thin bottom cavern layer, and when tree is remove the cave-in causes a magma piston effect, spewing magma 10z into your tunnels.

[Thisfox]

Dear Urist McMayor

I realise you were pushed into this job when our old Mayor literally refused to dig himself out of the pit he dug himself into. But you brought your current exile in the Caverns with a werecoyote as your only companion apon yourself. First you mandated ballista bolts we didn't need, then you demanded a sterling silver armour stand in your office. We don't have sterling silver, we don't even have any silver, and your demands were unreasonable. I've dropped a pick in there for you to dig with, and honestly, if the Captain of the Guard turns into a werecoyote again, you're welcome to try digging him with the pick as well. We won't judge.

Looking forward to the next Mayorial election!

--The Populace of Helmsanvils.

[Fleeting Frames]

You know, even if you enabled the justice systems, missed demands won't cause any punishments.