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[StagnantSoul]

Dear Uristmcanimaltrainer...

Not only did you fail to tame the giant rhinoceros I spent ten minutes micro managing military dwarves to heard into the cage traps, but you also fell asleep in the door, allowing it to go free... And then, when told to pasture it, you spent twenty minutes chasing it, only to stop for a drink when you were a few squares from it... It has now left the map, after killing the outpost liaison. Can you please give me one single reason why I shouldn't give you a bronze short sword and send you to the caverns?

[Derro]

Dear Uristmcanimaltrainer...

Not only did you fail to tame the giant rhinoceros I spent ten minutes micro managing military dwarves to heard into the cage traps, but you also fell asleep in the door, allowing it to go free... And then, when told to pasture it, you spent twenty minutes chasing it, only to stop for a drink when you were a few squares from it... It has now left the map, after killing the outpost liaison. Can you please give me one single reason why I shouldn't give you a bronze short sword and send you to the caverns?

Oh! I can! I can!

It'd be a waste of the short sword. Send him unarmed instead.

[TheFlame52]

Dear Uristmcanimaltrainer...

Not only did you fail to tame the giant rhinoceros I spent ten minutes micro managing military dwarves to heard into the cage traps, but you also fell asleep in the door, allowing it to go free... And then, when told to pasture it, you spent twenty minutes chasing it, only to stop for a drink when you were a few squares from it... It has now left the map, after killing the outpost liaison. Can you please give me one single reason why I shouldn't give you a bronze short sword and send you to the caverns?

Dear Overseer McStagnantSoul

I would have trained it if you had put it in a zone with animal training allowed! But you didn't, so I couldn't train it, and it went wild. This is your fault.

Sincerely, Urist McAnimalTrainer

[Bumber]

Dear Uristmcanimaltrainer...

Not only did you fail to tame the giant rhinoceros I spent ten minutes micro managing military dwarves to heard into the cage traps, but you also fell asleep in the door, allowing it to go free... And then, when told to pasture it, you spent twenty minutes chasing it, only to stop for a drink when you were a few squares from it... It has now left the map, after killing the outpost liaison. Can you please give me one single reason why I shouldn't give you a bronze short sword and send you to the caverns?

Dear Overseer McStagnantSoul

I would have trained it if you had put it in a zone with animal training allowed! But you didn't, so I couldn't train it, and it went wild. This is your fault.

Sincerely, Urist McAnimalTrainer

Preferably, you should tame it while it's still in a cage in a stockpile in a training zone. Trying to train a wild animal in a pasture before taming is asking for trouble.

[scourge728]

Dear Urist Mcsoldier's
Please stop sparring with the stray war dogs, it's just asking for someone to get hurt

Dear Wardogs
Please stop attacking the unicorns

Dear Urist McFarmer
Please expand the farm like I have designated, we need more beer and we don't have enough plants growing for it

Dear Urist Mchauler
Why won't you use the dumping zones I have set for the giant pile of corpses outside our fortress

Sincerely to all, The magic voice in your heads

[StagnantSoul]

Dear Uristmcanimaltrainer...

Not only did you fail to tame the giant rhinoceros I spent ten minutes micro managing military dwarves to heard into the cage traps, but you also fell asleep in the door, allowing it to go free... And then, when told to pasture it, you spent twenty minutes chasing it, only to stop for a drink when you were a few squares from it... It has now left the map, after killing the outpost liaison. Can you please give me one single reason why I shouldn't give you a bronze short sword and send you to the caverns?

Dear Overseer McStagnantSoul

I would have trained it if you had put it in a zone with animal training allowed! But you didn't, so I couldn't train it, and it went wild. This is your fault.

Sincerely, Urist McAnimalTrainer

Preferably, you should tame it while it's still in a cage in a stockpile in a training zone. Trying to train a wild animal in a pasture before taming is asking for trouble.

I can tame them in a cage? I tamed my cave and non-cave dragons in open stone rooms, and tamed the rocs I used for a three adult rock strong roc hatchery in the dining room.

[TheDarkStar]

Dear Atoms (that were my appraiser):

Please don't walk over a bridge immediately after pulling the lever for it. Yes, most of the time you'll be only flung at the wall, but if you are on the tile that becomes a wall, you are atomsmashed.

Sincerely, TheDarkStar

(note to self: forbid all items in the room if a bridge is used as a door before allowing the lever to be pulled.

[scourge728]

Dear Urist Mcmirgrants
We do not need fishery workers... we will NEVER need fishery workers, we will ALSO never need more then 1 milker or any beekeepers, gelders or dyers... or millers or small animal dissectors, we won't need more woodcutters for the forseeable future we also don't need bone carvers or pressers or glassmakers, we do however need more miners so you all have been re-assigned

[Bumber]

I can tame them in a cage? I tamed my cave and non-cave dragons in open stone rooms, and tamed the rocs I used for a three adult rock strong roc hatchery in the dining room.

Yes. Seeds taming tend to get stuck in the cage, though, and have to be dumped. Small price to pay to avoid disaster whenever trainers get interrupted somehow.

[Derro]

Dear dwarves,

Please remember that if blood-colored muck falls from the sky, it's a bad thing, and you should stay away from it. If you'd come to this simple realization, you wouldn't be about to be locked in because I'm not letting your broken, rotting, useless bodies crawl over to the meeting hall then die and reanimate.

Because I'm not completely heartless, though, I may send a few trained military dwarves into your room to end your corpse's miserable attempt at living in a few years, after which you'll receive a honorless lava burial.

Sincerely, Derro

[StarWars1981]

Dear Urist McMiner,
You're a Legendary miner. You worked your way from Skilled on up as the fortress's only embarked miner. From then, no miners migrated. You survived drilling 5 aquifer layers, walling off the last one enough to penetrate into the stone beneath, and then, when you hit lower layers of aquifer around yourself, and I ordered you to dig exploratory down-staircases to find a dry spot ...
You drowned. Five layers of aquifer, yet this one LAST staircase is too much? You weren't even working in the double-slit setup with the potential for disaster should the operator tire!!!
So, McMiner, savescummed as I packed no extra picks and have no metal. Also, because screw you. I'm gonna go find a more dangerous biome, this one's getting boring. Because I can't even anger the goblins - I need more metals for that, and I can't get the shallow or deep metals if you won't get PAST THE AQUIFER.

Thank you for nothing, you useless nonswimmer,
Overseer

[vekar]

Dear Urist McButcher,

     For the love of Armor when the alarm sounds quit trying to lead the pig inside to be butchered while a werecoatl slaughters two other dwarves around you. Drop the pig and run for it, it might buy you some... Oh never mind, masons! More coffins!

From: Overseer

[scourge728]

Dear UristMcmilitary
I know I said stop sparring with the war dogs, but that DOESN'T mean spar with the CATS.. why did you do that and why did the cat even let you

[Pirate Santa]

Dear UristMcmasterPotter,

Your custom job title is Master Potter because you are my best potter. It is your highest skill.
So why in Armok's good name when you went fey would did you go to a craftsdwarf's shop and produce a wooden toy axe and shoot up to legendary woodcrafter?
I already have a legendary woodcrafter, I don't need another. Also I was looking forward to a sweet clay artifact.

Signed,
The incredibly disappointed overseer of Skullmines.

[Fleeting Frames]

Dear UristMcmasterPotter,

Your custom job title is Master Potter because you are my best potter. It is your highest skill.
So why in Armok's good name when you went fey would did you go to a craftsdwarf's shop and produce a wooden toy axe and shoot up to legendary woodcrafter?
I already have a legendary woodcrafter, I don't need another. Also I was looking forward to a sweet clay artifact.

Signed,
The incredibly disappointed overseer of Skullmines.

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Strange_mood