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[TD1]

These rock puns are coal, man.

They're to dia-mond for.

[the1337doofus]

These rock puns are coal, man.

They're to dia-mond for.

I beg to differ; they're quite the borax.

____
A note to the Carpenter of Ican'tbearsedtolookatthename:
You are a carpenter/lumberjack. Now, I understand that yes, that Tiger is quite scary. However, for once, I don't want you to hit it with your axe; I want you to run the fuck away. This, however, is not what you did. Instead, you decided to try and take the tiger on.

Thanks for losing the axe and dying- The Overseer.

[Bumber]

Truly a marble to behold.

(I think we may be in for some pumicement if these puns continue.)

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Random McMarksman,

You came in with the merchants, all well and good.  But then I get a combat report and see that you successfully hit and then dodged yourself?  WTH?  I blame Obama the Elves for this weirdness.

Stop hitting yourself,

Me

[krg]

Truly a marble to behold.

(I think we may be in for some pumicement if these puns continue.)

They are gniess and all, but we should be adamantine about staying on topic.

[Dunamisdeos]

Truly a marble to behold.

(I think we may be in for some pumicement if these puns continue.)

They are gniess and all, but we should be adamantine about staying on topic.

This thread rocks. My pun-making skills simply shale in comparison.

[Ornstein]

Note to Urist McHauler; Re: Suicidal practices

I understand you want to get the dead cat off the mine tracks. I forbade it for a reason. That means you should not go and get it. Especially after seeing the tracks as restricted. And to those that followed, I understand you want to retrieve Urist McMiner's corpse and belongings, but in jumping into path of the minecart rocking back and forth over two spaces, you are only COMPOUNDING THE CORPSE PILE.

Thank you for not killing yourselves.

[pisskop]

Note to Urist McHauler; Re: Suicidal practices

I understand you want to get the dead cat off the mine tracks. I forbade it for a reason. That means you should not go and get it. Especially after seeing the tracks as restricted. And to those that followed, I understand you want to retrieve Urist McMiner's corpse and belongings, but in jumping into path of the minecart rocking back and forth over two spaces, you are only COMPOUNDING THE CORPSE PILE.

Thank you for not killing yourselves.

yea no, restricted doesn't work if the object they want is in the restricted zone.

Traffic zones work by artificially inflating the distance between the goal and the dwarf.  by default, the 'restricted' zone makes every 1 tile into 25 for the purpose of pathing.  So, only if the dwarf could save 25 steps by walking into 1 tile of restricted area would they consider it.  Since all paths lead into the restricted zone there is no way to avoid it.  And they will still go.  Gotta lock the area away or shut off the track.

[ptb_ptb]

Note to Urist,

Congratulations on your ability to push a wheelbarrow full of stones at a commendable speed to the rock stockpile. However, I wonder if it has occurred to you that when placing a surplus wheelbarrow to be stored itself you do not need to carry it over your shoulders? In future please imagine it contains an 'invisible stone' and push it in your usual fashion.

[Foxite]

Dear dwarves, and all the members of this forum,

Please explain the gneiss pun... I honestly don't get it.

No really, I don't.

[Minnakht]

Dear dwarves, and all the members of this forum,

Please explain the gneiss pun... I honestly don't get it.

No really, I don't.

http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1082:_Geology

[WordsandChaos]

Dear Tsivit,

So one of friends died of dehydration. You threw a tantrum because there's nothing to drink and, quite literally, ripped the head from a cavy sow.

One should point out, at this juncture, that you are the brewer and the cook.

The death of your friend is on your head, and you don't get to decapitate the local pets because you're too lazy to do your job.

Thanks again,
The Overseer.

[TacoSundae84]

Dear Urist McRambos,

I appreciate the fact that your 9 man squad was able to tear through the 80 goblin/troll force that marched on our fort. You'll all be hailed as heroes, with new rooms and your own personal war bears (once they grow up anyway). However, did you really have to do it be severing every possible limb of each of the invaders?

What could have been about 80 hauling jobs has turned into far more than I want to count. There's not enough dwarf power in the world to haul all those heads, torsos, legs and arms (upper and lower) to the refuse stockpile before the miamsa starts to spread. I better not hear any complaints about it from any of you, or those new rooms might come installed with magma pipes.

With warm regards,
Your Overseer

[escondida]

Dear dwarves, and all the members of this forum,

Please explain the gneiss pun... I honestly don't get it.

No really, I don't.

I'll take you at your word. It's a homophone for "nice," or at least spelled in a way that you could choose to pronounce it that way (could really be pronounced "niece," I suppose).

[Minnakht]

Dear Urist McRambos,

I appreciate the fact that your 9 man squad was able to tear through the 80 goblin/troll force that marched on our fort. You'll all be hailed as heroes, with new rooms and your own personal war bears (once they grow up anyway). However, did you really have to do it be severing every possible limb of each of the invaders?

What could have been about 80 hauling jobs has turned into far more than I want to count. There's not enough dwarf power in the world to haul all those heads, torsos, legs and arms (upper and lower) to the refuse stockpile before the miamsa starts to spread. I better not hear any complaints about it from any of you, or those new rooms might come installed with magma pipes.

With warm regards,
Your Overseer

That is just conjecture from someone who updated the wiki page.

Can't you just set their bodies out until they rot and use the bones anyway? Either way it should just be a quick edit of the ethics file and back to merbutchery.

In that case, why not just alter all creatures' raw entries to have arbitrarily high value value modifiers?

They decompose into an unbutcherable skeleton.  To get bones (of anything that leaves a skeleton) without butchering, you need to kill them in a way that guarantees dismemberment.  Then only the body will become a skeleton while the limbs and head decompose into a skull and indivdual "bones."  This is how you can get the occasional goblin bone crafts/bolts.

And yeah, if you want to do this, add value multipliers in the raws.

I'd consider this an upside myself.