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[MrsStick]

Do you have more than one beekeeper, and more than one hive?  There's a well-documented bug that causes multiple beekeepers to attempt to harvest the same wild hive.  When the first one does it, it destroys the hive, but not the second job - so your second beekeeper is eternally stuck with 'no path' cancellations.

I have only a single beekeeper with multiple hives, however it is possible I have had tools stored into bins and that has caused the problem. So if my fortress survives its current civil war, then I will try that.

How do you prevent the storing of tools in bins? I haven't seen that anywhere...

[WoobMonkey]

To prevent the storing of tools in bins, make sure that:

The stockpile you're storing in has disallowed bins (<q>uery the pile, and set # of bins to 0 with <C>);
Other finished goods/furniture piles have disallowed the tool type you're trying to store (<q>uery ----> <s >ettings).

If your tools are already in bins, simply link the pile they're in to a new one that doesn't allow bins, and only allows the tool type(s) you want stored. 

Hope that helps.

[TV4Fun]

Followup Re: Gang War

To all the dwarves who decided to fight each other based on some arbitrary group distinction: Well, I hope you're proud of yourselves. Your constant squabbling has created so much strife, it has opened up a hole in spacetime and crashed the game. So now you all no longer exist. I hope you're happy. See what happens when you don't listen to me?

And no, I am not going to let you have a spot in dwarf heaven either,
The Overseer

[pisskop]

Dear wild polar bear;

Due to your inexcusable sampling of my population I have no choice but to call out the militia for a tactical drill honor killing.  Good news is, in month 06 all qualifying regulars and weekend warriors are on duty and assigned to train in the topside garden.  the masterwork iron bolt that we pulled out of your spine indicates your importance to us.

 Euology, anonymous

Followup Re: Gang War

To all the dwarves who decided to fight each other based on some arbitrary group distinction: Well, I hope you're proud of yourselves. Your constant squabbling has created so much strife, it has opened up a hole in spacetime and crashed the game. So now you all no longer exist. I hope you're happy. See what happens when you don't listen to me?

And no, I am not going to let you have a spot in dwarf heaven either,
The Overseer

you know how to fix. a loyalty cascade, right?

[TV4Fun]

Followup Re: Gang War

To all the dwarves who decided to fight each other based on some arbitrary group distinction: Well, I hope you're proud of yourselves. Your constant squabbling has created so much strife, it has opened up a hole in spacetime and crashed the game. So now you all no longer exist. I hope you're happy. See what happens when you don't listen to me?

And no, I am not going to let you have a spot in dwarf heaven either,
The Overseer

you know how to fix. a loyalty cascade, right?

Yes, I had created separate burrows for three different separatist factions and was in the process of assigning them to militias to repel a goblin ambush when the game crashed.

[TV4Fun]

Dear Urist McMason,

I am very sorry that you were frightened by that big scary owl while contemplating doing some construction on my road. I can understand it was very traumatizing for you, but this is not sufficient reason to permanently suspend construction and go back to drinking and admiring the doors.

R/OS

[TV4Fun]

Dear Nemo O'ElfMerchant,

Please explain to me what technology you have that allows you to detect a single particle of wood in a giant pile of metal and stone merchandise. Do you wear some magical ring that glows blue when it is brought near tree products? Do you travel with trained wood-sniffing honey badgers? I like to consider myself a generous trader. Really, I care more about building our reputation by exporting high-quality goods than any of your paltry offerings. That is why, not only making an offering of goods worth 7,700☼ for your king as a show of good faith, I also offered nearly twice the value of the 7,500☼ worth of goods that comprised everything you brought that was actually worth buying in masterwork gold and silver crafts, prepared foods, and a bunch of worn out clothes that my dwarves had left strewn around the fortress. And being of your extreme sensitivity to wood, and your extreme moral opposition to destroying trees to create wares for sale, I was very careful to check everything I offered to you multiple times to ensure that there was not a single wooden item among them. This is of course why most of your merchandise consisted of things made from wood that I would not have thought possible to make from wood. It is only in your expert hands that I can find wooden harps or wooden cages, or wooden boots, or, somehow, wooden shirts. Yes, clearly you truly hate making things from wood. Well I can only assume that one of the clothing items I offered must have caught a splinter at some point, as you still found cause to take offense in what I offered. I am truly mortified at the traumatic experience I must have given you by forcing you to look at a piece of a dead tree that was not killed by one of your people, and I will certainly understand your desire to leave in a huff after all this. However, while I understand your offense, I cannot allow you to leave with your merchandise. Unfortunately, our irrigation system is still under repair from its previous malfunction, so it will be unable to malfunction for you, but I have provided an alternative in the form of our militia. It will be a traumatic experience for them to slaughter some sanctimonious elves, but I am sure they will recover from the blow in due course. I would ask you to send my regards back to your king, but well, you'll be dead.

Best regards,
A dwarven overseer

P.S. How the hell do you make mail out of wood, anyway?

[TV4Fun]

Followup to Nemo O'ElfMerchant in Re: Proposed slaughter

Dear Nemo O'ElfMerchant,

While I realize I promised to brutally slaughter your caravan last time, and I know this will come as a great disappointment to you, I have decided on reflection to discontinue the wholesale slaughter of you and your fellow elves. Please do not misunderstand, I still believe that you and your kind are all stuck up and hypocritical bastards who have as much business coming inside a real fortress as a dwarf does working at a beach resort. However, after further consideration, I have come to the determination that there is absolutely nothing you are carrying that is actually worth stealing, and your wares would only serve to uselessly clutter my stockpiles. Really, it was only out of pity that I was offering to buy any of your ridiculously worthless merchandise at all. Therefore, instead of completely slaughtering you, I will kill only a few members of your party, and ask the rest of you to quickly leave and take all of your junk with you before it begins to contaminate my fortress with smug. I'm sure you have many things you would like to get back to at home, like hugging some trees, or coming up with new ways to act superior, so I will not delay and let you get back there quickly.

Some kind of regards that are definitely not best,
Every dwarf everywhere

[sal880612m]

P.S. How the hell do you make mail out of wood, anyway?

I thought elves sung to trees and wood items sort of fell out of, or off of the trees.

[Larix]

That's what they tell us, but i have a hard time believing them.

If i really want the elven trade goods i specified in trade, i simply stay in the trade interaction screen and "s"eize the desired stuff. The merchants will just complain again and you get everything you wanted for free. In theory, the relations with their civilisation will suffer, but messing with caravans has so little impact that there's no realistic chance of triggering hostilities this way.

I've occasionally killed caravans when i was seriously ticked off, but that causes so much garbage hauling and disposal that i find it a net loss to my fort.

[pisskop]

I would love to see them gain the ability to 'whisper' to the wildlife, both above and, to a lesser extent, below.  All of a sudden a fluffy wambler attacks your hippie-dwarf's head.  Its like two wins in one.

When you mess with them, essentially they influence the wildlife of your region in some way.  Even just convincing them to not appear or more savage versions to move in.  they could be like the Aquaman of the civs!

[Urist McShire]

@ healthcare troubles - is the recruit actually showing the "Rest" job? Wounded military dwarfs often fail to properly go into rest mode when injured; i've no good recipe to fix such blockages, but activating/deactivating the dwarf's miltary status or saving/restoring the game sometimes helps. Do you have a hospital and chief medical dwarf? If you lack medical infrastructure, healthcare tends to stall without notice. That said, yes, healthcare jobs are generated annoyingly slowly and sometimes, treatment can hiccup and get stuck, so that a spate of necessary jobs are listed but just don't get generated.

The recruit in question was showing the "Rest" job, and I did have a Chief Medical Dwarf as well as several accomplished doctors on staff who had no other labours active besides their healthcare ones. The recruit languished in her bed in the hospital for nearly a month before a diagnosis was done, and then several more weeks before they started treating her. Eventually after six-eight months she succumbed to her wounds due to infection from them not getting around to diagnosing her and cleaning her wounds with the ample amount of soap I had, but the fact that she survived for so long with such extensive injuries just went to show me that she was a true dwarf even if she never attained a kill. After they hauled her body away for burial there were still five iron arrows on the bed along with all of her equipment, and she was a melee dwarf.

[TheFlame52]

Dear Ralur McVampire

As you are well aware, you were imprisoned about a year ago because someone caught you drinking blood. Due to this, you survived the FB-related cataclysm that claimed the rest of the fortress. You are due for release, and I have taken the liberty of making the last remaining sane imp in the fortress captain of the guard just to free you. He is miserable, and will likely go insane soon, so feel free to kill him. However, do not become unhappy yourself, as I need you to bury the dead. You also might want to watch out for that ghostly implet. Good luck!

[TV4Fun]

Dear All Urist McCommoners,

We all know how amusing it is to watch nobles suffer, and when the queen moved into the fortress and turned out to be a vampire, well it was as if Armok had sent us a reward for the many lives we had sent His way. Of course, we did lose the lives of a few dwarves, but I think you will agree it was worth it to indict the queen of the realm on four counts of murder and sentence her to 400 days of confinement and 100 hammer strikes. Well, her confinement is finally at an end, and she has received her hammer strikes, and I know you were all watching as intently as I was to hear the report of every single major injury she suffered.

As you know, we are not soft on crime in this fortress, and we take any infraction very seriously. That is why our hammerer carries a masterwork steel warhammer for just these sorts of events. Now I was quite certain that there was no dwarf alive who could survive 100 strikes from such a heavy instrument, but I was proved wrong. While it does not appear that there are any bones remaining in the queen's body that are not broken, so that she is now in a state which I believe the medical community refers to as a "blob," she is still technically alive, even if she is totally unable to move in any significant way.

Now I know you have all quite enjoyed seeing this, which is why you have frequently gone into the jail to take food from her barrel in sit in her chair eating it while pointing at her and laughing, and for obvious reasons it has not occurred to any of you that it may be a good idea to take her to the hospital, despite every single one of you having the recover wounded labor enabled and many of you having no other jobs. Indeed, quite a few of you seem content to sit totally idle while standing right next to the queen and do nothing to help her. I can certainly understand why you would want to act that way, however, I have a greater vision.

You may notice the glass doors and windows I have had installed on the outside of her royal quarters. These do serve a purpose which I will illustrate. Let us turn her over to the ministrations of our inept, and largely self-taught medical staff. There she may be covered head to toe in plaster, placed in traction for months, have one or two extremities surgically removed, be victim of all manner of infections, and when she is finally released, be something that less resembles a dwarf than a monstrous freak of nature wishing for death every moment but unable to die due to her unholy nature.

Then, I shall confine her to her royal suite, where she shall remain, in relative comfort, for the remainder of her natural life, to be gawked at and mocked by all dwarves who pass by. I have also dug a pit in the ceiling of these quarters, so that we may toss in the occasional wild animal or captured goblin, and observe with great enjoyment as the two battle each other. I hope you can see that as amusing as the current situation is, this new plan would offer a whole new level to the entertainment we could draw from this most noble of all nobles.

However, none of this can happen if she does not make it to the hospital. So perhaps, one of you, if it isn't too much trouble, can do your fucking job and drag her up there so that the healing process can begin.

R/OS

[sal880612m]

Dear Urist McSurvivors,

You want to live and I do understand that but after sending a significant chunk of unarmed to battle a Water Buffalo Cow and neglecting you for a year do you not understand that I want you dead.

Dear Urist McDeadins,

I neglected you and you died, however it has been a year since the first of you died in my quest to leave this fort and you have done nothing but rot. You have not caused anyone to go postal from grief nor have you made anyone go insane. The one person who did become a ghost is the only who did not die in an attempt to destabilize this fortress.

  Hopefully my new friends the goblin invanders will kill you do I can move on without abandoning yet another fortress.