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[ElenaRoan]

Dear Urist McMoodyExpiditionLeader

While I can understand the lure of creating something, and I appreciate it was armour that you created, however couldn't you have waited until AFTER the outpost liason had left?

- annoyed

[Roostre]

Dear Refuse Haulers,

I've written a song for you guys:

Guess what makes that little old dwarf
think he'll move that megabeast corpse
Anyone knows a dwarf can't
move a megabeast corpse

But he's got high hopes
He's got high hopes
He's got high-apple-pie in the
sky hopes

He disregarded thirst, wanted the job done first
Took just barely too long
Oops, there goes another little old dwarf
Oops, there goes another little old dwarf

It's a nice song, huh? I just thought I'd put it out there. Who knows? Maybe one or two of you will take the hint.

-- Your Manager

[LoneChipmunk]

Dear Urist McFuckingEveryone,

     There is a perfectly good stockpile for booze not 20 urist away from where that pile of booze was dumped. Would one of you mind explaining to me why you hauled the entire load back to the previous stockpile some 200 Urist away from where it was dumped? That stockpile is what we load the minecart with in the first place. All this means is that you are going to have to haul that booze yet again.

Your annoyed overseer,
     The Lonely Chipmunk



Dear Urist McCooks and Urist McBrewers,

     We are low on food and booze. Would the four of you kindly get off your asses and do your job before I use you for !!!SCIENCE!!!?

Your overseer who thinks water and mushrooms might just do,
     Lone Chipmunk

[Ki11aGhost]

Dear Urist McBrewer,

Maybe don't randomly stop brewing randomly when I'm preoccupied with goblins. Urist McRambo fought off 7 goblins single-handedly, only to fall to your careless inability to pull one of the dozens of plump helmets from the stockpile not 10 urists away, and brew the damn thing. Fifty deaths in a month from dehydration, not to mention the tantrums. You didn't deserve to live, so my last act before abandoning the place was to make sure you didn't, and you shan't.

 ~Sincerely, your very ticked off overlord.

[itisnotlogical]

Dear Urist McStartingSeven,

Keas are small, small birds. You could probably wring one's neck just by looking at it funny. Why does our only pick now belong to the bastards?

- Urist McOverseer, vowing never to pick "play now" ever again.

[WillowLuman]

Dear Urist McStartingSeven,

Keas are small, small birds. You could probably wring one's neck just by looking at it funny. Why does our only pick now belong to the bastards?

- Urist McOverseer, vowing never to pick "play now" ever again.

You, sir, just earned a guilt-free use of "slayrace"

[PainRack]

Why in Urist name are a throng of children swarming into my fort? Our dwarves are regularly drinking WATER because this place been swarmed by leaches and parasites. Which self respecting dwarf brings a child through the mountains and not the father anyway?

Overseer grumbling as he opens the lever to ask more dwarves to go foraging.

Notice to foraging party
A recent case of the dead rising has led to speculation that a necromancer is about. If you should see one,don't die.

[LoneChipmunk]

Dear Urist McHaulers,
     Please, next time you roll your wheelbarrow over our once loved Legendary Miner, toss his body into the wheelbarrow and drop him in the correct pile outside next to the other 30 dead dwarves.
     Hoping for a migrant wave
          LoneChipmunk

[Lielac]

Dear Erush Hameclobber,

You're a jackass. And hilarious. Unfortunately, I do not currently need the services of a legendary stonecrafter, so you're still on hauling duty.

Sincerely,

Your giggling overseer.

(Context: I didn't know dwarves were capable of sarcasm!)

[LoneChipmunk]

Dear Brewer Vampire,
     While your services as head brewer have been greatly appreciated here at Deerbasements, we feel that the cost of your services are too high to continue to employ you. However, we feel that, instead of the normal banishment we would inflict on one such as yourself, we have decided to instead promote you to the office of Head Manager and Head Book Keeper. As Head Paper Pusher, you will find your job comes with several new benefits. Of these, you will now have:
A) A snazzy new office. As Head Paper Pusher, you will be in charge of pushing papers around on your desk, and because of this your office will be furnished with as good of a table as we can aquire, and with a chair that is as good as we can make.
B) A fancy bedroom. As Head Paper Pusher, we feel that you will need your rest and because of this we will provide you with a fancy bedroom that you could take all of the dwarf ladies to, if you were ever likely to interact with any of them from here on out.
C) A fancy dining room. Again, as Head Paper Pusher, we feel you need a place where you can go eat as needed. While we don't know what you might choose to eat, we feel sure that you will need to have some place to eat it.
D) A crypt. Since you are dead, we thought it would be nice if you have a more traditional place to rest your unhead head, should you be in the mood to recreate your death.

We hope you will continue to serve us with the same zeal and vigor you have shown up to this point, and will offer us your services until death parts you and the fort.

Your slightly miffed overseer,
      Lone Chipmunk

P.S. Just so you know, this is not an attempt to wall you into a location because you ate our best planter. Not even close.

[jhuizinga]

Dearest Urist MissMason,

It is of course completely understandable that you repeatedly had to cancel the construction of our much-needed defensive wall because a creature was occupying the building site. I wasn't even *very* surprised when I investigated and found that creature to be yourself. I learned to work around it. I didn't say anything either, when you insisted on bringing your newborn to work, which kept crawling all over the designations, resulting in the same error. I only got a minor twitching in my left eye. It did, however, prolong the construction maybe a bit too much. Maybe you'd agree with me after the Goblins got in on their fierce cave crocodiles. But this memorial slab is not for idle speculation. You and your baby are at peace now, I guess, unlike the rest of us -- although the giant sponge situation is a topic for another memorial...

Yours,
Urist McMayor/Engraver

[squidgen]

Dear Urist McAnimaltrainer

I appreciate your help with the cleanup after that forgotten beast attack. But next time, don't drag all the dogs through the deadly blood, or you will be used as cave croc bait.

[jcochran]

Dear Urist McMayor,

You've made your love of anvils quite evident. Now would you mind telling me what we're going to do with a dozen anvils? Right now, the forge we have setup is the deeps is temporary for use only until the magma pump stack is up and running. Meanwhile, the glass furnaces down there have priority. But even after the permanent forge level is constructed at a more accessible local, there is no need for a dozen forges. Perhaps a dozen furnaces if things go well, but not that many forges. Meanwhile, your fascination with anvils is costing materials and time that's better spent else where. Such as armor and weapons. You have noticed the various undead creatures outside haven't you? If the anvil fascination continues, perhaps you'll make an ideal diplomat to speak to them about not overrunning us until we've built up a decent military. At the very least, such a negotiation ought to provide some amusement and a lesson for your successor.
 

[Pinstar]

Dear Urist McShepard

Yes, I realize you cannot milk a creature without any empty buckets. Why don't you put the milk in the bucket you are holding into a stockpile first before looking for a new creature to milk? That way I don't need to build a bucket for every single milk producing animal just to keep you working efficiently.

While you're at it: please stop using up the whole damn stack of wool when spinning it into yarn. I might actually be able to build a clothing industry that is animal based rather than plant based if you'd actually use what our herds produce properly.

[Larix]

Dear Overseer,

you gave me a 'milk creature' order and put it on repeat. By the rules enforced by your very own management, that means i am on pain of death forbidden to interlace milking jobs with _anything_ else, and that unfortunately includes moving the milk to a stockpile, which is a hauling job.

If you allowed me to convert the milk into cheese right away, I could simply free up the bucket right after milking. It would make single cheeses instead of cheese wheels worth five meals, but it'd spare us all the annoying milk-juggling, hauling interruptions and bucket spam.

<I think it's mostly the same with manager-issued 'milk creature x30' assignments; milking is not intrinsically linked to a stockpiling job like harvesting/plant gathering, so the assignment of such jobs is completely random, and milkers on repeat _cannot_ haul the milk to a stockpile, because sticking with the repeat job has precedence.>

<I'm afraid you'll have to wait for another version if you want a barely sensible wool industry. I'm not aware of a fix for the stack-burning bug.>