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[WanderingKid]

Dear Urist McHunter (and your two brothers),

Please, I KNOW I breached the caverns and you can't find the path.  Honest.  Now SHADDUP.  I'm in the middle of building a magma forge and I really don't need the distraction.  There's a Blind Cave Ogre down there anyway, if you COULD find the path, you'd be dead already, I still don't have armor for you.

- Your (rather spamfilled) Overseer.

[Firehawk45]

Dear Urist McHunter (and your two brothers),

Please, I KNOW I breached the caverns and you can't find the path.  Honest.  Now SHADDUP.  I'm in the middle of building a magma forge and I really don't need the distraction.  There's a Blind Cave Ogre down there anyway, if you COULD find the path, you'd be dead already, I still don't have armor for you.

- Your (rather spamfilled) Overseer.

Dear Overseer,

You told us to hunt, and there is something to hunt down there, so WHY DONT YOU LET US DO OUR JOB?

Your Hunters.

[WanderingKid]

Dear Urist McHunter (and your two brothers),

Please, I KNOW I breached the caverns and you can't find the path.  Honest.  Now SHADDUP.  I'm in the middle of building a magma forge and I really don't need the distraction.  There's a Blind Cave Ogre down there anyway, if you COULD find the path, you'd be dead already, I still don't have armor for you.

- Your (rather spamfilled) Overseer.

Dear Overseer,

You told us to hunt, and there is something to hunt down there, so WHY DONT YOU LET US DO OUR JOB?

Your Hunters.

Dear Hunters...

A) Because you're morons and half the time you go hunting you do it without your ammo!
B) Because I hooked you up as a military unit and told you to always wear your armor.  Why are you wearing those socks instead of these nice leather high boots?
C) Because there's a frickin' Ogre down there!

- Your exasperated overlord!

(On a side note, apparently I have no idea how to properly get cages back to animal storage.  Still working that one out.)

[Firehawk45]

Dear Urist McHunter (and your two brothers),

Please, I KNOW I breached the caverns and you can't find the path.  Honest.  Now SHADDUP.  I'm in the middle of building a magma forge and I really don't need the distraction.  There's a Blind Cave Ogre down there anyway, if you COULD find the path, you'd be dead already, I still don't have armor for you.

- Your (rather spamfilled) Overseer.

Dear Overseer,

You told us to hunt, and there is something to hunt down there, so WHY DONT YOU LET US DO OUR JOB?

Your Hunters.

Dear Hunters...

A) Because you're morons and half the time you go hunting you do it without your ammo!
B) Because I hooked you up as a military unit and told you to always wear your armor.  Why are you wearing those socks instead of these nice leather high boots?
C) Because there's a frickin' Ogre down there!

- Your exasperated overlord!

(On a side note, apparently I have no idea how to properly get cages back to animal storage.  Still working that one out.)

Dear Overseer,

A, you dont provide us with ammo, but we are still told to hunt, so we do it.
B, Socks are warm, Leather is cold. Its easy to understand, even for a bloody noble like you.
C, We want to hunt it, thats our job.

Your Hunters.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Dear dwarves, we haven't took any lessons we learned from our last thousand fortresses for granted. If we say something you should do it, period.

Your god.

[Renommer]

Dear Urist McBerserkMason,
Please do everyone a favor and jump off the ledge you're standing by in to the river. That door is not going to open any time soon and you're disturbing daily life and practically all construction projects.
Your Overseer

[Xerillum]

Dear Uvash,

Thank you for showing initiative in dealing with the goblin snatcher attack. Even though you are only 2 years old, you were able to kill the assailant with a single punch to the head. Good Job.

The Overseer.

[Mimodo]

Dear legendary archer

You have a stockpile of quality ammunition sitting right next to the archery range, you do not need to run all the way to the magma forges to collect more ammo

Sincerely,
The one who is always watching you while you sleep

[a_mist_wolf]

Dear Urist McSpeardwarf,

You may have noticed on the journey to our new little fort that you were a bit different than the other six dwarves tapped for this expedition. While they were farmers, crafters, miners, and smiths, you alone were a military dwarf. You had two very specific skills:
1. kill things with a spear
2. teach others to kill things with a spear

Now for six months you performed admirably. There was no call for you to practice your craft, but you did every menial task I asked of you, despite having no skill to speak of in any of them. You mined, chopped, hauled, and gathered without complaint. Finally the day came you had been waiting for - we began forging weapons and armor. Now you could prove your true worth to our fledgling fortress as the core of our future military!

So when I started getting reports that dwarves were abandoning their tasks and fleeing in terror from a kangaroo on the surface, I saw a simple solution: "Hey Urist, grab one of those new spears and kill that kangaroo!" Somehow you skipped the first part of the order and went straight to the second.

By opting to start a fistfight with an territorial animal half again your size, you failed utterly as a Speardwarf. However, you met with some success as a Teacher, as we all now know that kangaroos kick hard enough to crush the skull of an unarmed and unarmored dwarf.

Sincerely,
Your Invisible Overlord

[Eric Blank]

Dear Invisible Overlord,

From my previous experience in the military, I must say that it is most unwise to ask a soldier to go kill something when they have been off-duty. If you do so, they will not have their equipment ready, and an army of hundreds may line up one-at-a-time to get their heads lopped off instead of marching in unison.

Please refrain from giving kill or station orders that would ask the militia to engage the enemy prematurely. DO ask them to station at a reasonably safe location, still forward of civilian fallback points, and allow the squad to grab their gear and form up before asking them to engage the enemy. This way, they will usually engage with most of their gear, and most of the squad will be present for the fight, instead of trickling in one-at-a-time and unarmed and unarmored.

Sincerely, Urist McSpeardwarf, well-trained military advisor you hired to teach people how to fight.



This is actually a very serious problem I've run into a lot. Tired of losing military dwarves, and realizing they are unable to plan ahead, I opted to do the planning ahead and have them form up before giving them orders to roll out. Yes, it increases response time and you could lose a few civies and let the enemy get close before the engagement, but it increases effectiveness and decreases casualties incurred during the actual fight.

[Jake]

This is actually a very serious problem I've run into a lot. Tired of losing military dwarves, and realizing they are unable to plan ahead, I opted to do the planning ahead and have them form up before giving them orders to roll out. Yes, it increases response time and you could lose a few civies and let the enemy get close before the engagement, but it increases effectiveness and decreases casualties incurred during the actual fight.

You might also try keeping a squad stationed near the main entrance to the fortress at all times. I tend to form twelve squads of marksdwarves and give them one month of training followed by one month of sentry duty. A few strategically-placed weapon traps can help buy time as well.

[Oaktree]

Dear Urist McAxeLord (deceased)

Yes, you and your steel armor have been kicking armor all around the fortress for three years now.  However, a goblin has just pointed out that at close range a crossbow bolt *will* penetrate that helm and scramble your brain.  So, a few pieces of advice for the next life:

1. If your two dwarf squad splits up while mopping up stragglers do not ignore an order to rally.  Otherwise, you end up trying to take on five crossbow goblins single-handed and risk the chance of a flank shot hitting your hand and making you drop your axe.

2. Speaking of said axe.  We note that you have ignored repeated orders to upgrade from that iron relic to something made here in the fortress.  Perhaps better quality construction out of steel... or this wonderful blue metal the miners discovered a vein of.  We note from your last combat log that multiple axe strikes failed to penetrate the crossbow goblin's iron mail.  If you had used better quality weaponry like we asked you we think you might have possibly prevailed in that 5-on-1 skirmish you insisted in trying to fight.

3.  Yes, yes, you did kill three of them and wound a fourth.  But you're dead and Legendary Axe dwarves are not that easily generated here.  We will try though.

We look forward to inscribing something appropriate on your tomb.

[Mimodo]

Dear Urist McAxeLord (deceased)

Yes, you and your steel armor have been kicking armor all around the fortress for three years now.  However, a goblin has just pointed out that at close range a crossbow bolt *will* penetrate that helm and scramble your brain.  So, a few pieces of advice for the next life:

1. If your two dwarf squad splits up while mopping up stragglers do not ignore an order to rally.  Otherwise, you end up trying to take on five crossbow goblins single-handed and risk the chance of a flank shot hitting your hand and making you drop your axe.

...

The number of times I've experienced number 1.
"Hey, Marksdwarf! You're out of ammunition, go get some more. No, don't run at him, he's fully armoured, and you've got leather and a crossbow. Dammit, I've stationed you inside, GO INSIDE!"
*Urist McMarksdwarf has been struck down*

[Firehawk45]

This is actually a very serious problem I've run into a lot. Tired of losing military dwarves, and realizing they are unable to plan ahead, I opted to do the planning ahead and have them form up before giving them orders to roll out. Yes, it increases response time and you could lose a few civies and let the enemy get close before the engagement, but it increases effectiveness and decreases casualties incurred during the actual fight.

You might also try keeping a squad stationed near the main entrance to the fortress at all times. I tend to form twelve squads of marksdwarves and give them one month of training followed by one month of sentry duty. A few strategically-placed weapon traps can help buy time as well.

Althought this is off topic (topic? At Bay12?), i just keep my military squads training all time and have a "defend burrow" order ready for the case of greenskinned goodiness. This way, they keep their armour and weapons on and dont rush into their slayers.

[Jake]

The number of times I've experienced number 1.
"Hey, Marksdwarf! You're out of ammunition, go get some more. No, don't run at him, he's fully armoured, and you've got leather and a crossbow. Dammit, I've stationed you inside, GO INSIDE!"
*Urist McMarksdwarf has been struck down*

If you can't make sure your marksdwarves can't path to the enemy at all, try modding crossbows to be more useful as a melee weapon. I ended up giving them a bayonet.