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[Firehawk45]

Dear Urist McSmeltalot,

Your ambitions to instantly smelt down all the presents our greenskinned friends brought is definitly apreciated. But to run into the friend of said greenskinned friend to get the armour and weapon in the field isnt a smart idea. Maybe the fact that you will get a cooper-sarcophagus out of your own smelted ores will help you rest in peace.

Sincerely,
A truly shocked and confused overseer ("How did this guy managed to go out their without the goblins coming in?")

[hops]

Dear gobbos,

Surely you have a better adventurer to ambush than a necromancer with over over 500 corpses following him?

An adventurer to would have stormed your fort if not for this version's nonexistence of other races except humans.

[misko27]

Dear Urist McMason,
I ask you to build a simple outdoor wall. Just a wall. Nothing special. You constructed that wall, and managed to trap your self on the top of it. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?! YOU SHOULD'NT EVEN BE ON THAT Z-LEVEL. Frankly, I'm more confused as to how you accomplished this. There aren't any ramps that could allow it. What. The. Fuck. Frankly, You should be glad I noticed your pitiful cries, cause otherwise no one would ever have found your body.  Seriously, Stop it.
Yours Confusedly,
Overseer

[WriterX]

Dear Urist McMilitiaCommander,

 I admire your toughness, but you really do not have to walk around with that arrow stuck in your arm. We have doctors, you know? They can actually help you! None of our patients died yet.

So please, please go to the hospital.

Yours kindly,

Overseer

[GreatWyrmGold]

To invisible overlord.

You ever get down here real close and study one of these walls?  The bookeepers always say it's a cube for the paperworks sake, but to make those walls they just hammer it really really really thin.  It looks solid enough with just a glance over, nobody ever really notices it's only a few nanometers thick so the gobbos never bother to try knocking it down.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Besides you ever see one of those goblins with a whip?  They are like bloody lightsabers, they impart so much blunt force on such a small point yer going to need candy to have even a hope of resisting that.  Me armor is only as good as the metal it's made out of mate.  Get me some metal capable of taking a velocity multiplier five times that of a shortsword on a point a 50th of a shortsword's blade tip and I might be able to do something for ye.

Urist McArmorer

Dear Urist McArmorer,

Are those thin walls somehow managing to fool the volcano? Because iron walls and floodgates are currently holding back a few million Urists of magma that would otherwise be flooding your forges. Maybe the walls are thin, but they stop flying boulders, ballista bolts, giants, collossi, and the aforementioned dragons. Urist McBlacksmith can be making them out of tin foil for all I care, he gets results.

And it's not just the whips, poor Urist McMarksdwarf was crippled by a kobold with a dagger while wearing steel chain. Made by you.

One more thing... Yet another axedwarf is yelling at the mayor right now about being "embarrassed to be uncovered lately." He is wearing, among other things, a steel breastplate, a steel mail shirt, steel mail leggings, steel greaves, steel boots, steel gauntlets, and a steel cap and steel helm. I shouldn't have to ask you if you are making crotchless armor!

Sincerely,
Your invisible overlord

Dear idiot-visible overlord,
Dude! Have you ever worn any kind of armor, period? The chainmail pinches! I need some padding!
Sincerely,
Urist McDisrespectfulMilitiaDorf.

[Phillammon]

Dear Urist McFarmer:

I know you're hungry. This is no reason to go back and forth between canceling harvesting the plump helmet due to going and eating and canceling eating because there is no food.

Sincerely,
The Overseer.

[khearn]

misko27: check your combat reports to see if the wall-sitting mason happened to dodge a passing badger or something. Sometimes a dwarf will change z-levels when he/she dodges.

[misko27]

misko27: check your combat reports to see if the wall-sitting mason happened to dodge a passing badger or something. Sometimes a dwarf will change z-levels when he/she dodges.

It wasn't a badger, as I'm in a savage biome, which means giant aniamls. If it was a giant badger, then he wouldnt be on the wall, he'd be smeared all over it. However, there were a variety of animals in the area which could be responsible, so I'll see what happened.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Savage biomes can have normal animals. And any creature's attack can be dodged.

[misko27]

Its hard to tell, A vile force of darkness showed up . Now theres both too many combat reports, and too much blood to deal with. All over my nice clean walls too. Oh well.

[Darkening Kaos]

Dear Urist McTrader,
Don't be goin' up them ramps as my teams are carvin' 'em out, you'll get stuck......

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

oh, you've figured that out, well, let's see what happens when Urist McMiner gets around to carving out that ramp under the single tile your parked on.

Good luck!

Signed,
The Ever-Present Force.

Fake-Edit: Upon checking more carefully, I see that you are already levitating - this will get very interesting.

[Mr Frog]

[Found carved into the wall near a small, circular cart track covered in multicoloured bloodstains:]

The Overseer would like to remind his personnel that attempting to clean the cyclotron while it is in use is counterproductive for multiple reasons.

[Corai]

Dear wolves,


Stop bugging me. I HAVE A BAG OF WOLF SKULLS!


Love, kobold overseer.

[GreatWyrmGold]

[Found carved into the wall near a small, circular cart track covered in multicoloured bloodstains:]

The Overseer would like to remind his personnel that attempting to clean the cyclotron while it is in use is counterproductive for multiple reasons.

[Found scrawled in blood next to a dwarven corpse and the above note:]

I can't think of any reasons for that. If you don't clean this place with water or magma, I need to clean it by hand. Hey, is that a minecar

[Dunamisdeos]

Dear Urist Mcbrokerdwarf,

It seems you did not recieve my last letter. I think we can handle this like adults. Please view my revised reactions to your wacky hijinx.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbcctWbC8Q0. That is all.

Sincerely, The Overseer