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[Corai]

Dear UristMcFriendtoAllWoodlandCritters

Despite how nice a stroll in the forest picking berries sounds, it can be pretty dangerous as well. You also shouldn't mess with the critters no matter how cute they are, lest a swarm of giant badgers decide to maul your feet off and leave you for dead. You should be very grateful to our brave captain who dragged your screaming (but not quite kicking, heh) butt home and was totally not ordered to locate and drag you back due to you being the only brewery worker in our tiny fledgling fort. We don't have any qualified doctors, so we had the blacksmith put ya back together since he's good at fixing stuff. Sorry (not really) if he was a bit rough.

Your friend the carpenter also handcrafted some lovely crutches as a get-well soon present. And by get well soon, I mean right now. We're getting low on the booze stocks. Just cause you don't have any feet, doesn't mean you're gonna be a freeloader.

Dear Overseer

ARE. YOU. SERIOUS.


-Sincerly, UristMcFriendtoAllWoodlandCrittersWhoHasNoFeetAnymore

[malroth]

Dear Overseer
Can i have UristMcFriendtoAllWoodlandCrittersWhoHasNoFeetAnymore's job since anybody can make booze?

Signed Ursit Mc Hauler migrant.

[Greiger]

To Dracon lancer

It was very brave of you to attack that giant tick the hunter scared into the fortress, I can only imagine how terrifying that thing must have looked. And the fact that you still managed to stab it through the brain after it ripped off 2 of your extremities is worthy of very shiny metals and a fully paid retirement.

However, I would appreciate it if you would come collect your tail.  It is still twitching and it's creeping out the traders.

The administration.

[WillowLuman]

To Dracon lancer

It was very brave of you to attack that giant tick the hunter scared into the fortress, I can only imagine how terrifying that thing must have looked. And the fact that you still managed to stab it through the brain after it ripped off 2 of your extremities is worthy of very shiny metals and a fully paid retirement.

However, I would appreciate it if you would come collect your tail.  It is still twitching and it's creeping out the traders.

The administration.

Well, that's a nasty mental image

[Teneb]

Dear Urist McBroker

I know you are a legendary appraiser, but the traders are here and I need you to get the best possible bargain. We need that metal. This is no time for breaks. Failure to report to the depot will result in more than your contract to be terminated.

Sincerly,
            Your Glorious Leader.

[tahujdt]

@ Greiger: What mod is that?

[Reudh]

It's his self made 'dracon' mod I think.

[tahujdt]

Please post NAO!!!

[Greiger]

Yea a homebrew.  I throw it up on the DFFD every so often, but I'm not very good at doing it consistently, because I'm rarely happy enough with it to feel it is fit for public consumption.  I think the latest version I posted was for DF 31. under the name Greiger's Mod.  I guess I'll try to get together the files to update it this week, but it's too late at night to do it now.

P.S. Well since you said Nao,  I suppose I can throw together a zip file...  I'll post an edit with the link in a bit.

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=1695  <-  Enjoy

[Jake]

Dear Captain of the Guard,

I gave you a crossbow with the soul purpose of beating people. Killing a guy by shooting him in the head is not part of a "beating". I know that he was throwing stuff at you, but now we have 3 little kids randomly throwing tantrums all over the place... - The Mayor

Mr Mayor,

I was well within my use-of-force guidelines with regards to people who are throwing heavy objects at my head. If you wish to take this complaint further, I advise you to take it up with the Independent Fortress Guard Complaints Commission. I will however be deploying the Fortress Guard to provide a force-appropriate response to any further disturbances of the peace, and formally authorisation to deploy ballistas is granted forthwith lest the situation further deteriorate.

Yours, the Captain of the Guard.

[TheeBaconman]

Dear children, parents, and captain of the guard

I don't give flip about you. I wish you were never born, you block the hallways, and are a nuisance. Stop tantruming, I thought children were supposed to enjoy streaking naked. Perhaps that's just humans....

Parents, I wish there was a dwarf option to stop your spore spreading so seasonally. I don't care if you have a girl, I have important mining to handle to find a cavern so no one will die of dehydration in  the hospital (unless the brook unfreezes).

Captain!! Stop tantruming, every now and then 20-30 dwarves want to report a crime, I don't want you ending up punching one of them. In fact, I think you are the one committing the crime, and conveniently leave yourself off the list!

Sincerely,
The angry man

[redwallzyl]

Dear half my fortress please don't go to get a drink IN THE RIVER and than continually try to drink as your drowning!

[oldark]

Dear founders to be,
I know this area is scary and full of monsters but please stop dragging your starting wagon to the small island. The monsters can fly and the undead WILL cross the river(s). All you're doing is trapping yourself.

[Corai]

Dear Cutebolds,


I know your stupid, but really? You cant drop a Cow Intestine down a hole to feed a nonbeliever of the KodKod Cult, I know he doesnt deserve to live, but KodKod needs sacrifices, not deaths. Now his wife and eight pups have gone beserk and are killing cultists.



Love, Preacher of KodKod

[caddybear]

Dear Gem Setter,

Good work on that Diamond throne you made. It's so expensive we could probably buy out the stock market. You are going to get buried along with our legends and I've just signed the papers that give you a luxurious villa in the nobles sector. Don't worry about the throne getting lost if we fail to defend ourselves, which is a possibility now that we're getting besieged every other week, we've installed a system that will flood the entrances to the vaults ( and probably everything else if our calculations are wrong ) with that lake over there.

Also please explain how you managed to make a full sized throne out of a small diamond, even if you used several I'm pretty sure there wasn't enough diamonds for that since I asked the bookkeeper. She said we had only a few left after our weaponsmith was finished with her spoilerite sword that she adorned with ridiculous amounts of diamonds. She called it "The Blue Violator". She'll be your neighbor so I think you shouldn't go out at night or something.

Lots of love, kisses and hugs
Duchess Caddyb