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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1510970 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2925 on: February 23, 2012, 12:07:35 am »
Quote from: jaxler on February 22, 2012, 11:27:22 pm
I wouldn't correct Armok if I where you. also try the Dwarven Water Reactor for all your power needs.

Armok

Don't worry it was just Armork
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jaxler

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2926 on: February 23, 2012, 12:13:48 am »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on February 23, 2012, 12:07:35 am
Quote from: jaxler on February 22, 2012, 11:27:22 pm
I wouldn't correct Armok if I where you. also try the Dwarven Water Reactor for all your power needs.

Armok

Don't worry it was just Armork

ya sure?
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Quote from: jaxler on February 15, 2012, 10:26:25 pm
I've decided to say "fuck it" and will just implode my fort.

“Ok, Neo ChosenUrist, before you is two levers. Pull the Kimberlite lever -- you wakeup in a random bed and have whatever thoughts you want to think. You pull the Bauxite lever -- you stay in the caverns and I show you how deep the adamantine hole goes.” - psalms

Vehudur

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2927 on: February 23, 2012, 12:42:53 am »
I don't think my elves really listen to armok very well :P

....

Dear ElfMcDrunk

Why can't you drink from the well like the rest of the elves?  The alcohol is supposed to be for trade.

Sincerely,

An increasingly annoyed druid.
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Quote
...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

wierd

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2928 on: February 23, 2012, 12:51:33 am »
Dear Ms Uristine McVampire,

Are you enjoying your new room? I left the roof open so you would get plenty of wholesome Sunlight, and left the floor bare earth, as I seem to recall your kind requiring that for long term survival.  I'm sorry I had to temporarily give you the position of military captain in order to order you to the site where I walled you in. Yes, you did indeed get demoted immediately afterward.

The real reason I am writing you this letter, is to ask what exactly it was you were thinking when you sucked the blood out of Urist McFarmer as he slept in the *only* communal sleeping chamber while surrounded by witnesses. No sooner had you eaten him, than his body was found. You didn't even make a pitiful attempt at hiding the body. Even more curious, said dwarf was also your "friend". How can it be that you are still ecstatic after not only killing him visciously, and then watching as his body rotted as I waited for a coffin to be prepaired, all while being locked inside your ubliette?

Also, I noticed that you filled your backpack with prickleberries after being drafted, but let them go to waste after being placed in your new private suite. Is this a protest about the accomodations? I note that your pref strings say you hate oysters... would you prefer a shipment be dropped in through the skylight?

Remember, your complete and total comfort is my only concern. Afterall, being immortal, you will be spending a *very* long time in there.  Would you enjoy the company of some kitties? It just doesn't seem right to leave you in there all by yourself...

*a concerned citizen of the Grim Casket-Keeper
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Ascimator

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2929 on: February 23, 2012, 04:18:06 am »
Dear Urist McPossessed,
I'd love you to please kindly tell the force that possesses you that we have no ore other that magnetite and no clay, or I will certainly have to wall you in that forge you claimed so no one will be harmed physically or morally after the force will run out of patience.
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There is a finely-engraved image of Ascimator on the wall. Ascimator is slapping himself in the face. The artwork relates to the loss of the only anvil in Perplextombs in the late winter of 6.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2930 on: February 23, 2012, 04:22:45 am »
Quote from: Ascimator on February 23, 2012, 04:18:06 am
Dear Urist McPossessed,
I'd love you to please kindly tell the force that possesses you that we have no ore other that magnetite and no clay, or I will certainly have to wall you in that forge you claimed so no one will be harmed physically or morally after the force will run out of patience.

Trade for what I need so I may craft the item that will bear me into this world

Sincerely;
 Hggrahfgsfghsghsvffsawwfasshjyjj, The Unpronounceable (Currently inhabiting the body of one Urist McPossessed).
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paraxite

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2931 on: February 23, 2012, 04:28:09 am »
Dear Urist McMiner
Why do you keep channeling yourself in the magma pump stockpile? Is it that hard to yourself out of the restricted area?
And when you're hungry and thirsty till death, I think that starting to learn masonry by building a floor is a good start.

Oh, that reminds me.
Dear Urist McMason
Please stop taking a break and build that god damn floor so that your dear miner friend can escape from his entrapment.
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Ascimator

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2932 on: February 23, 2012, 04:39:04 am »
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on February 23, 2012, 04:22:45 am
Quote from: Ascimator on February 23, 2012, 04:18:06 am
Dear Urist McPossessed,
I'd love you to please kindly tell the force that possesses you that we have no ore other that magnetite and no clay, or I will certainly have to wall you in that forge you claimed so no one will be harmed physically or morally after the force will run out of patience.

Trade for what I need so I may craft the item that will bear me into this world

Sincerely;
 Hggrahfgsfghsghsvffsawwfasshjyjj, The Unpronounceable (Currently inhabiting the body of one Urist McPossessed).
Dear Unpronounceable,
Nevermind, I got you wrong. Lots of thanks for that iron short sword menacing with spikes of iron and granite and some battle image engraved on it. Sorry for underestimating you. Next time you visit though, try to teach him something.
Sincerely,
the satisfied Overseer


Dear Urist McMarksdwarf,
Good job sleeping while some cave monster slaughters your hunting dog and knocks everyone's teeth off.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2012, 04:50:24 am by Ascimator »
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There is a finely-engraved image of Ascimator on the wall. Ascimator is slapping himself in the face. The artwork relates to the loss of the only anvil in Perplextombs in the late winter of 6.

Magma_science

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2933 on: February 23, 2012, 05:27:59 am »
Dear Unpronounceable force that possessed my weaponsmith:

I can understand that you can't teach anything to my only weaponsmith - this is unfortunate but i got a lot of iron lying around so i'll get him to legendary manually.
While you could make better weapon, mace is fine - after all it's artifact.
But was it really necessary to name it "Hairy embrace"?
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Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2934 on: February 23, 2012, 05:53:23 am »
Dear UristMcPikedwarves

Please refrain from doing lone dwarf glory charges. It gets both you and any hope of the fort suriving killed and you waste months of training.

Thank you.
Overseer.
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Ascimator

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2935 on: February 23, 2012, 06:00:13 am »
Dear Urist McFarmer,
Next time you tantrum because the towering webbing pterodon slaughtered your friends use your artifact short sword I gave you to slay that beast. That would be fun at least.
Or just be happy that you are wielding the EFFING ARTIFACT.
Sincerely,
the overseer exhaustedly waiting for all of you to kill each other.
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There is a finely-engraved image of Ascimator on the wall. Ascimator is slapping himself in the face. The artwork relates to the loss of the only anvil in Perplextombs in the late winter of 6.

jamesadelong

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2936 on: February 23, 2012, 06:36:37 am »
To: Urist McTyson
From: Mission Command
RE: Boxing
Yes, we get it. Your an amazing aim. QUIT CARPETING THE FLOOR WITH TEETH!
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Quote from: Oliolli
Quote from: Dohon
Dwarf Fortress: where good advice confuses new players and bad advice makes the Geneva Conventions scream out in pain.

Ascimator

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2937 on: February 23, 2012, 06:43:02 am »
Dear Urist McEngraver,
Instead of making these pictures of some hill titan pay attention to the fact that the FB killed almost everyone and picture that.
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There is a finely-engraved image of Ascimator on the wall. Ascimator is slapping himself in the face. The artwork relates to the loss of the only anvil in Perplextombs in the late winter of 6.

h0lx

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2938 on: February 23, 2012, 08:21:27 am »
Quote from: wierd on February 23, 2012, 12:51:33 am
Dear Ms Uristine McVampire,
-snip-

*a concerned citizen of the Grim Casket-Keeper
Why dont you just assign him to a random burrow?
Vampires never leave burrows.
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captain proof

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2939 on: February 23, 2012, 08:35:23 am »
Dear Urist McVampire,
I killed you once, and buried you. Then I relocated all of the dead to a local crypt, and your corpse decides to disappear...without a trace. Please come back so I can Kill you again and get your murderous spirit away from the mess hall.
Sincerely, Kindrath Hold Vampire Management Squad
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