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[reteip9]

Dear Urist McHunter

Could you please stop having the wonderful idea of hunting that pissed of alligator 5 mins after embark?

Sincerely your overseeer

[ClkWrkJester]

EDIT: ClkWrkJester cancels Not Looking Like An Idiot: Interrupted by posting in wrong thread and not realizing.

[YetAnotherStupidDorf]

Dear ClkWrkJester,

You are supposed to write it in form of mail.

Regards, yet another stupid dorf.

[Alternatecash]

Dear Dorfs of Gemtower;
Run into the fortress when I give the order!

[MadocComadrin]

Dear Alternatecash,

Write reply cancelled: interrupted by Carp.

[krg]

Dear Urist Mcwoodcutter

please report to my office immediatly

krg

Urist McWoodcutter/Axedwarf, i called you in here to tell you to keep your axe in hand
and go kill the stupid ogre that is currently being held down by two dogs. yes, dogs.
they are doing a better job of killing that ogre that is stopping work then you, someone
with an axe. now go kill the ogre or i will have to take measures. that is all.



TAKE YOUR FRIGGIN AXE WITH YOU ARMOKDAMMIT!!!

[Shinotsa]

Dear Krg

I'm sorry that YOU aren't out there fighting, because maybe then you'd realize that this is my woodcutting axe and not my ogre killing axe. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go put my axe down and pick it back up.

Sincerely,
Urist McWoodcutter McRecruit McGhost

P.S. A coffin would be nice

[ThatAussieGuy]

Dear Dorfs of Gemtower;
Run into the fortress when I give the order!

Gemtower Dwarf cancels flee into safety of the fortress:  Stealing socks from fallen brethern.

[Alternatecash]

And the crackling red and yellow stuff just makes that !!pig tail sock!! even more alluring.

[Theifofdreams]

Dear Urist Mcmurderednoble's Friend

Yes, it was a terrible tragedy that cut us all deeply. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and pulling of beards.
However, gnashing your teeth on another dorf, and pulling their beard, is abit much, don't you think? Please for the love of all that shines in the deep places, calm down, remove your tooth from Urist Mcmineronbreak's arm, and stop trying to put his beard in a headlock.
Besides, we had none of what was mandated, and I wasn't having you or one of the other hard workers who actually do shit maimed and/or killed just to satisfy a noble throwing a hissy fit. If you don't stop throwing your tantrums around, I will be throwing you. Into the pit. Right next to Urist Mcmurderednoble. And the three dead goblins, a somehow not-yet-dead elf trader, and the decaying corpses of a great many FB Syndrom victims.

-The Overseer about to go into melancholy

PS: We've got piles of memorial slabs, still. Don't think we don't.

[Martholomule]

Dearest Urist McGourmet

That's a food stockpile you're sitting in.  You're hungry.  F___ing eat something. 

Yes, I know there's a barrel of food somewhere in a deep cavern, and I know it's not forbidden to eat from it.  I also don't know where the f__k it is.

There's no way to get to it.  I know it, and you obviously know it.



Now that I think about it, hurry up and starve to death. 



Sincerely,
The Sign Painter The Overseer

[Theifofdreams]

Dear Sign Painter Overseer

Aye, I've no clue where the barrel o' food is, but it's got the tastiest food ye'll ever have, I jes know it!
I'll find it yet, or starve and die!

Urist McGourmet

PS: Have ye tried the stockpile lists? Ye should be able to find it from there.

[Jacob/Lee]

Dear Urist McAquanaut,

Please step out of the airlock before I eject you out of it with the refuse.

With lovedon'tdoubtIwon'ttrainanotheraquanauttotakeyourplace,
The Omnipresent Overseer.

[krg]

Dear Skeletal McGiantMooseCow,

Please explain to me how my dog was able to tear your muscle. you are a skeleton, skeletons shouldnt HAVE muscles.
the same goes for your tendons. ?? tendons?

Confused,
krg

p.s. thank you for bashing in that dogs head with little to no trouble, she was valuable to the fort.

p.p.s. thank you for being so easy to kill. fight lasted almost no time once my hammerers showed up.

[BullDog]

Dear Urist McMiner,

Did you want a dramatic entrance?
You got it, falling through the dining room ceiling and injuring everyone inside and killing yourself.

I hope your happy in hell the afterlife.

 -- The facepalming overload