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[AiresPenlaw]

Dear Broker:

Breaks are important, nobody is arguing otherwise. However, your "break" has lasted long enough to see two caravans come and go. When your break ended, instead of going to the Depot to trade our silver for much-needed lignite, you decided it'd be a great idea to slaughter a goat. If it weren't for the fact that we have barely settled here, I would have you confined to cleaning the Magma Resevoir.
Do not let this happen again.

Yours,
Aires Penlaw, Overseer of Dalehelms.

[Shootandrun]

Dear Urist McSwordmaster

Next time you want to bite the foot of an elephant to death, tell me before trying, ok? It takes a long time to train the soldiers to get at your level, and I don't expect you to die at the first ennemy you encounter. At least you survived, and I hope the fact that you don't have legs won't stop you from killing goblins.

PS: If it does stop you from killing goblins, remember: I know where you live.

[Zdrok]

Dear Sodel McWhateveryourlastnameis,

Yes, I agree that you are justified in not picking up your equipment due to your injuries.  That's not my issue here.  One of your arms has been torn off and your other arm has been severely fractured in multiple places.  For Armok's sake GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL.

Best regards,
Overseer of Glazedragons.

[ExdeathV]

Dear Nobles,

   Stop being a bunch of crybabies because of the bedrooms I gave my legendary workers. You didn't do shit when you came over, so why do you think you should get anything nice.

  From,
  That invisible force that tells you what to do

[ArmokGoB]

Dear UristMcMiner,
Stop trying to surf on caving-in rock and dirt. Even if you live, I don't want you mining with a broken leg, a broken arm, a broken nose, and various mangled organs. If you do, I'll use you as live bait when the cheetah comes back.
Sincerely, AlexaiZ

[arcangelsd]

Dear reclaiming force of Tickwhip:

Could you please, go bring the captain of the expedition force here to the hospital where the good Sergeant-turned Chief medical dwarf could patch him? I want you to remember that this guy has staved off two ogre ambushes, one of them BY BITING THE ATTACKERS TO DEATH WHILE HE WAS LYING ON THE FLOOR!
People, at least stop drinking all the booze and give the guy a sip or two. We need him. We just settled here -again- He has proven to be more efficient than the Soldiers Mc-my-mighty-cat-leather-dress-is-my-armor.

Also, dear Captain, we DID put a booze barrel a few squares from you. You may have a broken foot, but I SWEAR that I have seen you moving. On your own. SO PLEASE WANDER TOWARDS THE BOOZE.

That's all for the first two months of the reclaim.

Your overseer, arcangelsd

[ThatAussieGuy]

Dear Nobles,

   Stop being a bunch of crybabies because of the bedrooms I gave my legendary workers. You didn't do shit when you came over, so why do you think you should get anything nice.

  From,
  That invisible force that tells you what to do

Dear Invisible Force, TTYWTD;

We've heard... rumours from other fortresses of Nobles that make nuisances of themselves having accidents that no-one can seem to find accountable for.  If you can keep them busy for five minutes and point the miners to the nearest source of water, stockpile of trap parts, or even magma, I'm sure we can work out a solution to their grievances.

Sincerely; The dwarves of your fort.

[raptor007]

Dear Urist McScaredycat,

I know you are worried. I too have heard the rumors that our 20 strong military was slaughtered by 8 goblin archers. In hindsight, armor might have helped, or weapons. But that is why we are all safely inside this strong dinning room blocked by six imposing stone doors.

Yes, I hear the goblins coming in through the front door which someone forgot to link to a lever. Yes, they do sound scary and angry. But again, that is why we are all safely inside this room with six doors.

The most important issue right now is someone NEEDS TO CLOSE THE LAST FUCKING DOOR! There is ONE RAT REMAINS blocking the final door from closing. Notice how it has been marked for dumping and a refuse pile is one square away from it.

Now instead of eating, drinking, or sleeping every single one of you 54 dwarves has nothing but hauling labors and the remains are clearly within the burrow. So MOVE THE DAMN RAT BEFORE WE ALL DIE!

No? None of you? Well then you all deserve what is coming.

Sincerely, slightly worried overseen,
Dalgren

[RAKninja]

dear goblins:

GO AWAY!  i can build a second (and likely a third) fort from all of the bones of your fellow goblins.  you see the corpses piled across at least a full third of the surface?  those are your fellow goblins.  i do not need any more copper or silver.  i definitely do not need any more of your stinking rags.  your stupid demon left years ago... go look for him or something.  you dorks make more hauling jobs than i can keep up with, and the kobolds loot the battlefield and get it into their think skills that THEY should try to "siege".  i feel kind of bad for the kobolds, but not you blighters.  go away or i shall give serious thought to flooding the surface with magma.

with love:
overseer of Bronzetools.

[eataTREE]

To Urist McLegendarySpearDwarf

You killed the damn FB, why the hell are you and your squad STANDING IN THE *CENSORED* *CENSORED*'ing *VERY CENSORED* FIRE?  Three of your squad have titles and multiple FB kills each, for Armok's sake!

It appears that your fortress is staffed by dwarves left over from a World of Warcraft raid. In addition to standing in the fire, do they also refuse to attack the designated kill target?

[krenshala]

Dear Urist McScaredycat,

I know you are worried. I too have heard the rumors that our 20 strong military was slaughtered by 8 goblin archers. In hindsight, armor might have helped, or weapons. But that is why we are all safely inside this strong dinning room blocked by six imposing stone doors.

Yes, I hear the goblins coming in through the front door which someone forgot to link to a lever. Yes, they do sound scary and angry. But again, that is why we are all safely inside this room with six doors.

The most important issue right now is someone NEEDS TO CLOSE THE LAST FUCKING DOOR! There is ONE RAT REMAINS blocking the final door from closing. Notice how it has been marked for dumping and a refuse pile is one square away from it.

Now instead of eating, drinking, or sleeping every single one of you 54 dwarves has nothing but hauling labors and the remains are clearly within the burrow. So MOVE THE DAMN RAT BEFORE WE ALL DIE!

No? None of you? Well then you all deserve what is coming.

Sincerely, slightly worried overseen,
Dalgren

I have to ask ... did they every close that last door? 

[arzzult]

To Urist McLegendarySpearDwarf

You killed the damn FB, why the hell are you and your squad STANDING IN THE *CENSORED* *CENSORED*'ing *VERY CENSORED* FIRE?  Three of your squad have titles and multiple FB kills each, for Armok's sake!

It appears that your fortress is staffed by dwarves left over from a World of Warcraft raid. In addition to standing in the fire, do they also refuse to attack the designated kill target?

Dear Overseer,

http://shadeofaranchant.ytmnd.com/

Sincerely !!Urist McFlammable!!

[Alestom]

Dear all Millitary Urists of The Creative Plains


      You outnumbered those goblins by 20, you were wearing steel armour.......... YOU WERE TRAINED FOR 3 YEARS IN A ROW FOR THIS VERY ENGAGEMENT! HOW DID YOU LOSE TO 10 GOD DAMNED GOBLIN SWORDSMEN?!..........


Your very agitated and surprised Overlord, Alestorm.

[ThatAussieGuy]

To Urist McLegendarySpearDwarf

You killed the damn FB, why the hell are you and your squad STANDING IN THE *CENSORED* *CENSORED*'ing *VERY CENSORED* FIRE?  Three of your squad have titles and multiple FB kills each, for Armok's sake!

It appears that your fortress is staffed by dwarves left over from a World of Warcraft raid. In addition to standing in the fire, do they also refuse to attack the designated kill target?

Only if it's an elf ambush.  Any other time that go right after it and murder the poor bastard.

[Baron Baconeer]

Dear citizenry of Bronzestrike

I understand that burying the dead is an ancient tradition and should be honored. But, there's a squad of swordgoblins currently walking over the corpses. This is not a problem, since they are slow bastards. However, captain of the guard and his posse are moving in to confront the attackers. Yes, he's the feathered demonic bison guy with his other demon pals. You are going to rot away if you happen to be standing there when they fight. Yes, this exactly same thing happened during the last ambush where we lost 30 idiots AND my best soldiers. Thank you.

Ever slightly annoyed,
Overseer

Dear goblins of the civilization with bucket as their symbol (How do you get the trolls work for you?)

I know, Bronzestrike is THE mountainhome, and a hoard to assorted craft worth millions. However, we have very lazy smiths, who have to be coaxed with great effort to do particularly anything. So, I have to thank you for all those iron breastplates and silver flails/whips/whatever you are hauling here, but next time, will you please stop bringing that copper crap and silver edged weapons here? I can't be assed to smelt all of that crap. Also, donations of clothing have kept the fort from becoming a nudist camp, which I also thank you of.

Grateful,
Overseer