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[jaxy15]

Dear black bears pastured in a room,

Breed more. We need meat for our meat industry, and making *black bear roast*s.

Sincerely,
Overseer

Why not make them war-bears?

Only grizzlies can be trained. I have black bears.

[Shardok]

Kivish Koganzat, General Labor has created Allas Duthal, a iron statue of elves!

Dearest Kivish,

You are a traitor to your race. Please report to the nearest termination booth immediately.

The Seas of Worth

"The item is a masterfully designed image of elves in iron by Kivish Koganzat. The elves are laughing. The artwork relates to the defeat of The Seal of Gills of The Constructs of Anguish and pillaging of Helmeddead by The Sister of Ashes in the early autumn of 120 during The Fifteenth Pillaging of Helmeddead.
It is encircled with bands of reindeer bone."

Though I must say, the reindeer bone is a nice touch. But again, termination booth. Now.

Sincerely,
   Your Friend and Overseer,
            Shardok, Servant of Xom.

[Deus Machina]

Dear Urist McSheriff,

I know we didn't have any hammers when I recruited you, because we're just now managing to ramp up production and you are this fortress' first sheriff. But when I buy a few, you can't dive headlong into the mountainhome's cart to dig the near-masterwork steel one out of the pile of bolts and swords, when out military needs it. That cheap copper one was for you.

I just wish I could figure out how to assign you a specific one, so I won't have to drop you into the magma the first time you club a useful dwarf to death.

Sincerely,
the frustrated overseer.


Dear animal trainer,

We have more interesting animals than these dogs. Train some bears. Get those horses shod in iron. Make some war-water-buffalo. Put a helmet on the new leopard, hand a shield to the chimpanzee. Anything.

You have got to get bored after the forty-seventh wardog.

[Niccolo]

Dear Urist, Urist, Urist and Urist;

Kindly stop eating all the Goddamn plump helmets. Thanks to you lot, you'll have no booze until the next caravan arrives. Which, I might remind you, is several months away. And we're expecting a wave of migrants soon. Good luck!

[Korva]

You can specify the material for each item in the uniform list. There's a way to assign specific items too but I never do that so I don't rememeber.  Specify a copper hammer for your sheriff's uniform, or just leave it weaponless to be even more on the safe side?

[jaxy15]

Dear Elite Marksdwarf,

Whoa, cool it there, buddy.
Don't run close to the GCS to shoot.
You're lucky it didn't inject venom into you.

[Ahrimahn]

Kivish Koganzat, General Labor has created Allas Duthal, a iron statue of elves!

Dearest Kivish,

You are a traitor to your race. Please report to the nearest termination booth immediately.

The Seas of Worth

"The item is a masterfully designed image of elves in iron by Kivish Koganzat. The elves are laughing. The artwork relates to the defeat of The Seal of Gills of The Constructs of Anguish and pillaging of Helmeddead by The Sister of Ashes in the early autumn of 120 during The Fifteenth Pillaging of Helmeddead.
It is encircled with bands of reindeer bone."

Though I must say, the reindeer bone is a nice touch. But again, termination booth. Now.

Sincerely,
   Your Friend and Overseer,
            Shardok, Servant of Xom.
[/quote\
was that a dwarven defeat?

[Shardok]

I haven't checked, because I didn't want to leave my game and check, but I'll definitely check right now.

Just looked at my coins and noticed they depict The Constructs of Anguish, a Dwarven civilization... Something tells me he made a statue depicting his Own civilization being pillaged.

Yep, those are OUR ancestral mountain homes being pillaged too. Though thankfully he didn't depict the destruction of them 400 years later. Or the horribly failed attempt to reclaim them 200 years after that.

In the early spring of 5706, The Hammer of Genius of The Constructs of Anguish founded Minedrock. (My current fortress) Now I feel that I might be doing some great evil against all of Dwarven civilization by sticking that elven statue in my Baron's house. Hehe.

[The_Final_Stand]

Dear Children of the Fortress.

You know how that room is marked "DANGER!"? The one that another child just walked in to, then crawled out of and suffocated from numerous stab related wounds?

Yeah, don't go in that room.

Your Benevolent Overseer.

[Ahrimahn]

I haven't checked, because I didn't want to leave my game and check, but I'll definitely check right now.

Just looked at my coins and noticed they depict The Constructs of Anguish, a Dwarven civilization... Something tells me he made a statue depicting his Own civilization being pillaged.

Yep, those are OUR ancestral mountain homes being pillaged too. Though thankfully he didn't depict the destruction of them 400 years later. Or the horribly failed attempt to reclaim them 200 years after that.

In the early spring of 5706, The Hammer of Genius of The Constructs of Anguish founded Minedrock. (My current fortress) Now I feel that I might be doing some great evil against all of Dwarven civilization by sticking that elven statue in my Baron's house. Hehe.

DUMP IT IN THE MAGMA SEA!
do it its magma safe so you wont have bad thoughts from destroying it

Dear Mayor

ever since the unfortunate incident of a slade loving mayor demanding we make stuff out of it I investigate everything about our mayors likes and dislikes. This is why im very disturbed at you liking slaves! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?! Why would your political party nominate someone who finds slavery acceptable? Who voted for you? WHAT THE HELL
-The Man Who Hunts Down Goblin Spies

[jaxy15]

Dear Urist McMayor,

I was thinking about saving you, but no, it just turns out that you want cotton candy for your armor.
Fuck you, you're not getting the metal. Go stark raving mad, melancholy, berserk, I don't care.

[ledgekindred]

Dear Mayor Urist McFrisky

That was your thirteenth kid just now.  Cut it out.  It's not a clown car.  You keep doing that and I'll show you what a clown car is.

Yrs
Finitely Patient Overlord

P.S.

Dear Urist McIdiot

We just built that trough because of a forgotten beast with deadly blood.  Do you see the dwarf right next to you filling it with a bucket?  You do? Then why in the name of Armok are you fishing in it?!  It's a puddle of blood and muck!  What do you expect to catch?!  Other than a syndrome, that is.

Yrs
Incredibly Baffled Overseer

[Eric Blank]

Sounds like your fisherdwarf is either suicidal, homicidal, or crazy. But since they're a dwarf it's guaranteed they're all three.
Your entire fortress will fall to the horrifying effects of the disease, if that dwarf had their way.

Dear Autotroph McCavemoss,

Please stop growing all over my beautiful golden-yellow sand.

Go back to YOUR cave,
Your epileptic host

[Manae]

Dear Urist McSheriff,

I know we didn't have any hammers when I recruited you, because we're just now managing to ramp up production and you are this fortress' first sheriff. But when I buy a few, you can't dive headlong into the mountainhome's cart to dig the near-masterwork steel one out of the pile of bolts and swords, when out military needs it. That cheap copper one was for you.

I just wish I could figure out how to assign you a specific one, so I won't have to drop you into the magma the first time you club a useful dwarf to death.

Sincerely,
the frustrated overseer.

Well now, this just requires me to dig up this one:

Dear Urist McNewSheriff

I assigned you, some weak, worthless nobody, to this position just so you could go up, punch the legendary glassmaker who threw a tantrum earlier and hit somebody, and have justice be done without any major incident. Instead, you decided to bash her face through her brain on the second swing. I swear to Armok, if it weren't for the lack of sand in this fortress--and the two other glassmakers withdrawing from society to make some worthless baubles right after that first now-dead dwarf--you would either be swimming in the magma sea, looking for a forgotten beast in the caverns, or trying to chase off the next goblin siege wearing the same equipment you have on now: you tattered clothes and fists.

Eye-twitchingly yours,
The Overseer

[krenshala]

You can specify the material for each item in the uniform list. There's a way to assign specific items too but I never do that so I don't rememeber.  Specify a copper hammer for your sheriff's uniform, or just leave it weaponless to be even more on the safe side?

m -> e -> select the dwarf in question -> W -> specific weapon -> the weapon you want hir to use

I have to do this so my noob spear dwarves grab training spears without having to try and figure out if you can automagically change the uniform for a squad without disbanding the squad. (Well, I don't pick 'specific weapon' but you get the idea.)  Once they also have real spears (copper in my current fortress) I go back in and remove the training spear entry so they unload them (and then I sell them to the humans).

BTW, you can actually kill badgers (non-giant) and macaques with training spears ... it just requires a lot of pounding to get them unconscious so you can take the head shot that actually finishes them off.