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[Sarda]

Hair gel. Aka blood.

[TolyK]

Dear Urist McInCrossbowSquad,

I find it amusing that you hitting a goblin with your crossbow once earned you the title of Hammerdwarf.

Must say a lot about your crossbow skill, eh?

~Overseer

Dear Overseer,

but, but my crossbow is red now and i like fancy red things *gets good mood*
.
..
...
... a sock!!! out there just behind those goblinish looking thingies with bows!!! ... gotta go, sire!

~Urist McInCrossbowSquad

Dear Urist McInCrossbowSquad,

You are on fire.

~ Overseer.

EDIT: No, really. He is on fire. He is in a burrow and is assigned to defend it. Still fighting fires...

[jaxy15]

Dear Urist McAxedorf,

I know you have that masterwork adamantine 2handed sword from demonic fortress,
but that doesn't mean a bunch of goblin lashers won't kill you.

Sincerely, angry overseer.

[imperium3]

Dear Urist McAxedorf,

I know you have that masterwork adamantine 2handed sword from demonic fortress,
but that doesn't mean a bunch of goblin lashers won't kill you.

Sincerely, angry overseer.

I think I see your problem...

Dear Urist McGuardCaptain,

Okay, so you've been handing out beatings on the orders of a long-dead mayor. Fine, I can live with that. Bud did you have to punch the head off Urist McLegendaryMechanic like that? The poor dorf was the last of the founding seven, and you killed him. I advise you to be more careful in future, as if Urist McLegendaryMetalcrafter comes to harm in jail, you're next...

The Management

[jaxy15]

Dear Urist McNewOwnerOfSword,

It's not polite to decapitate an unconscious goblin while a marksdwarf is shooting at him.
Please refrain from doing that.

Sincerely,
An overseer.

[TolyK]

Dear Urist McWasInACrossbowSquadButIsNowInTheI'mOnFireSquad

Follow your orders, a.k.a. just stand right there, outside.

~Overseer.

[Byakugan01]

Dear Urist McMiningUnion

  I know the trogloydytes that came up from the caverns we deliberately breached right after embark were annoying. Hell, we have a dozen filling up cages until I can teach you how to tame them. That's a damn waste of cages. Quite rage inducing, really. I had to draft you two and the other five dwarves to kill the first lot quickly. Which you did. What I want to know is: WHY, WHY did you drop your copper picks and forbid them?! Not only would they have helped kill those trogs faster, but we wouldn't have been stuck above ground for a whole year! Furthermore, we wouldn't have lost two dwarves, including a weapon smith, if you hadn't done that! On the other hand, they were both possesions, and the second one gave my tame GCS in their scenic pasture a chance to peacefully resolve the berserk dwarf incident with the help of ten burly, manly dwarves who just happened to be stationed next to said craftsman. So I forgive you, for you gave me good entertainment.

Sincerely,
Your amused overseer
On another note...

Dear Migrant Ragtag military:
 What. The. HELL. I saw some elkbirds down there, so I sent you to take them on for training. You followed my order to kill in the name of armok. That was good. But how the HELL do three of you get rolled around like rags dolls, and the rest of you can't even CATCH them?!?
You're lucky you got exxperience out of there, and you know it.

[Vorthon]

Dear Urist McMiningUnion

  I know the trogloydytes that came up from the caverns we deliberately breached right after embark were annoying. Hell, we have a dozen filling up cages until I can teach you how to tame them. That's a damn waste of cages. Quite rage inducing, really. I had to draft you two and the other five dwarves to kill the first lot quickly. Which you did. What I want to know is: WHY, WHY did you drop your copper picks and forbid them?! Not only would they have helped kill those trogs faster, but we wouldn't have been stuck above ground for a whole year! Furthermore, we wouldn't have lost two dwarves, including a weapon smith, if you hadn't done that! On the other hand, they were both possesions, and the second one gave my tame GCS in their scenic pasture a chance to peacefully resolve the berserk dwarf incident with the help of ten burly, manly dwarves who just happened to be stationed next to said craftsman. So I forgive you, for you gave me good entertainment.

Pit the trogloydytes (Make sure the fall's short enough not to hurt them) into a sealed-off arena carved into the rock. Then, whenever you capture any gobbos, drop one into the arena, wait until it's dead, then drop the next in, and repeat until you're out of gobbos. (Note: Make sure the gobbos are unarmed and unarmoured, first. Otherwise you lose your execution squad.)

[schussel]

Dear Urist. McWasInACrossbowSquadButIsNowInTheI'mOnFireSquad

Follow your orders, a.k.a. just stand right there, outside.

~Overseer.

damn you really hate him, don't you? 

[TolyK]

what can I do, he's on fire!

pumping water on him is too risky - he'll likely ignite the pumps.
him going inside is a no-no.
he won't station himself in a safe (read: ramped-walled) murky pool.

he's doomed, might as well get some burning goblins out of it. 

[b_boy_212]

Dear Urist McBarelyHurt you are not than injured so stop laying there in bed being pathetic and get to work!!!

[DoctorMonch]

Dear Urist McOnBreakAndSeeminglySuicidal,

Whenever I lower the gate to let merchants in, please don't go running outside the gates just to stand there and be goblin bait.

We lost most of our militia trying to save you from a siege, you know. We killed them all, yeah, but we lost a LOT of good men.

All because you wanted to sit outside with your thumb up your ass.

There are burrows for a reason, you stupid bastard.

[Dutchling]

Me; YAY! New version

Me; Oh wait, it's the deleted cookis that makes the download links all shiny...

*facepaml*

*spelling facepalm*

[Bo-Rufus CMVII]

So...what's your note to your dwarves?

Would you bums get off your asses and start performing some of the tasks I've ordered?

(Probably best that I'm not a supervisor in the real world; I spend lots of time hollering profanities at my $%$%$@ dwarves.)

And the trade negotiators... do these guys deliberately snub the merchants by going off for a drink and a nap when they show up? They're the worst slackers of the lot!

[ZCM]

What I want to know is: WHY, WHY did you drop your copper picks and forbid them?!

There is a bug where weapons that are embedded in an enemy when it dies gets forbidden. They don't get dropped because of it, but if the dwarf drops them for some other reason, they won't get picked up again.