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[strongrudder]

Spoiler:  reply to Sutremaine re: accents (click to show/hide)

I like phonetic accents because I like accents in general, and there's something about having it written out that helps me hear it in my head.

What about when it's your accent?

I can understand how someone with the accent in question could see it as a ridiculous (and perhaps offensive) caricature, though.

Though I would also be interested to see how someone would transcribe the standard broadcast American accent from their perspective, since I've never seen it done.

Dear Dwarves of Towerjoy:

Thank you for your cooperation in taking positions so quickly at the outdoor Dwarf Washer burrow. This post-seige rain ritual may be a nuisance, but it allows for divine forces to remove the blood/vomit/pus sludge from our grand home. While you're at it, shoot a quick prayer to Lam for these regular rains that allow us to forget seiges and our gangrenous brethren so quickly.

Yours,
The Management.

[billybobfred]

To: Urist McHunter
re: Hunting

Your job is to hunt large animals so the fort does not starve.

Don't interrupt that to hunt small animals so you don't starve.

It's just silly.

[Boes]

To the former dwarves of [region 7] All 70 of you deciding to take a nap before the bridges that are securing the entrances are finished... Thank you.. You managed to save yourselves many hours of work while that goblin raiding party strolled through our fort...


68 dead, 2 throwing a fit..
I think this site is cursed..  this the second reclaim.. the first one died when a piece of the cavern collapsed onto my dwarves just as i unpaused. No time or warning to do anything about it..

[krenshala]

Dear Urist McChild,
FUCK YOU.
I understand you had to wait while I set up the butchers to get you the bone you needed for your crappy craft item, but did you really have to go and grab a piece of magnetite and a platinum nugget right after? We both know you are going to just atomsmash them while trying to figure out how to put them on a completely boring donkey bone ring.

Hope you dont mind starving to death.

Sincerely the management.

Edit: Interesting. It seems if you forbid the non-bone items after the begun construction message they dont get used and the dwarf doesnt go mad. you still get a lame descriptionless artifact tho But at least you get to keep the useful materials.

If you are running .22 you would have gotten the extra bells and whistles spikes and hanging rings. Of course, that might require starting from scratch, which can be annoying, so I understand if thats why you didn't.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Urist McBonecarver,

seriously, it took ALL 16 bones from a baby yak to make that ring?  Are you sure it isn't a Hula Hoop?  Whatever, you're legendary now at least.  Just next time, please make something useful.

The Management

[dieffenbachj]

Dear Urist McUnknownForces,

While I do sincerely appreciate the frequent, massive jumps in my fortress's wealth due to your bi-yearly possessions of my minions, I would kindly request that you cease creating artifacts which only depict the dragon Lusnub Brandpearls the Glow of Heat burning elves alive.

It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment! The statues and clothing you have provided us depicting these wonderful and hilarious events is surely appreciated! However, I wouldn't mind artifacts depicting something else once in a while. Perhaps a nice statue depicting the dwarven slaughter of Thudel the Vice of Soaking, the forgotten beast whom my dwarves cleverly killed by swarming it with sheer numbers and goblinite weaponry? That would surely make a rousing decoration for our item hall!

The final note is more of a humble request. That is, please take a break from possessing my dwarves. Give us a chance to enjoy a fey mood once in a while instead of mere possession; our lack of legendary anything but miners is an embarrassment to our fort, and unfortunately the blame falls squarely on your non-corporeal shoulders. And don't try to act like it's not you every time you possess my dwarves; your style and, particularly, TOPIC (the aforementioned dragon eating elves) is well known to me.

Thank you for your time. Please feel free to relax, spend some time in our lovely dining room, and enjoy our goblin catapulting competitions. The next time you possess my dwarves trying to sculpt a dragon sock made of clay or something, I'm going to put that dwarf under an atom smasher; let's see you escape from that.

-The Management

[dieffenbachj]

))Ignore this, I meant to hit "Modify" not "Quote"

[jaxy15]

Dear Urist McWhoeverItWas,

Please, when you dump a goblin in the execution pit, dump him legs-first.
It is better to see him get killed by the bear and giant scorpion rather than a simple bump to the head.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Urist McButcher,
Butcher the rotten corpse without complaining or don't dawdle so much in constructing the butcher's shop (finally) and butchering the beachfall. Ugh.

[Burritango]

Dear Urist McLoyal.

You've just killed your own wife.


-Puppeteer

[Boes]

Dear Urist McLoyal.

You've just killed your own wife.


-Puppeteer

Well Perhaps she had it coming... I know i've been tempted a few times... 

[GreatWyrmGold]

Spoiler:  reply to Sutremaine re: accents (click to show/hide)

I like phonetic accents because I like accents in general, and there's something about having it written out that helps me hear it in my head.

What about when it's your accent?

I can understand how someone with the accent in question could see it as a ridiculous (and perhaps offensive) caricature, though.

Though I would also be interested to see how someone would transcribe the standard broadcast American accent from their perspective, since I've never seen it done.

I would actually be more interested in seeing a Brit or Australian trying to transcribe an American accent. I feel like I'm transcribing my (lack of an) accent right now, even though an Englishman or somethingone would likely disagree.



Dear Urist McCarpenter,
Please do not go on break. We need you to build those floors and walls and such.

Dear Urist McFisher,
Please do not go on break. We need you to build those floors and walls and such since the normal carpenter is on break. You're the only one left who does nothing useful and is not on break.
P.S. If you get relieved from carpentry duty, and start to fish, actually catch something. There has been nonstop fish or whales in the ocean since a few days after we arrived.

[Shook]

Dear Urist McDumbfuck

Waddling around the edges of a deep pit isn't very smart to begin with, but what on Earth (or whatever planet you live on) made you do it while water was flowing into it? You're lucky that i dug away a wall down there so you could get up, though i mainly did it for the elf loot. Don't count on getting dug out if you fall in without accompanying loot, though there is a slight chance that i might be nice enough to do it regardless.

With utmost sincerity,
Human McPlayer

[TolyK]

Dear Urist McPotashMaker.

Don't come near me with that fist of yours.

~The overseer.

P.S. 15 kills with your bare hands? Really?

[Necro910]

FROM THE DESK OF NECRO

Dear Urist:
It has come to my attention that you refuse to place a stray dog inside the caverns. If you do not proceed with aforementioned task, you will be terminated. Have a nice day!

-Necro