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[MasterMorality]

Dear Udil Damutzalis,

You're a trained military woman, a wrestler to be precise. The bowyer, in the dungeons, was chained up. I know he was causing a scene going berserk at his post, but he couldn't do anything, although apparently some carrying things to stockpiles were so shaken up by the noise he was making they dropped their goods all over the floor. Still, we have taken note of this and construction of a wall is going ahead in the future. I know that discipline is necessary for things like this, a swift beating would do wonders on shutting him up.

You did not have to beat him to death. He was the only Bowyer and may well have come in handy later on. Hell, that's just out of proportion. It worries me that after this you are very happy. I suggest you find better targets for your rage. If you do not, I fear I shall have to take steps.

Sincerely,
The Overlord.


Dear Mayor,

I'm unclear about who attacked who first, but it seems you were punching donkeys a little before hand. Eitherway, the peasant with the ice axe was an off duty recruit and despite the fact that you've killed a ghoul, you your arse handed to you. That said, most people would have bled out on the ground with the injuries you sustained from that fight. You are a badass woman to crawl your way to bed after that. I seriously thought you were going to die. \

With respect,
The Overlord.

[Duntada Man]

Dear Urist MsAxedwarf,

You have one eye.
You have one arm.
You wield a copper battle axe AND copper shield, both of which you've named, while your fellow military are decked in steel.
You are my best and most respected warrior with the most kills
Why did you decide to bite that forgotten beast with deadly extract?
How did you tear the HEAD off the forgotten beast with your TEETH?
How come you walked away unscathed, practically flossing with the beasts sinew, smothered in its blood, and are suffering no effects?
Why is that cat melting?

Sincerely,
Your perplexed but amused overseer.

He is all that is dwarf.

[Akura]

Dear Udil Damutzalis,

You're a trained military woman, a wrestler to be precise. The bowyer, in the dungeons, was chained up. I know he was causing a scene going berserk at his post, but he couldn't do anything, although apparently some carrying things to stockpiles were so shaken up by the noise he was making they dropped their goods all over the floor. Still, we have taken note of this and construction of a wall is going ahead in the future. I know that discipline is necessary for things like this, a swift beating would do wonders on shutting him up.

You did not have to beat him to death. He was the only Bowyer and may well have come in handy later on. Hell, that's just out of proportion. It worries me that after this you are very happy. I suggest you find better targets for your rage. If you do not, I fear I shall have to take steps.

Sincerely,
The Overlord.

If he was infact, berserk, then yes, she did have to kill him.

Dear Urist MsAxedwarf,

You have one eye.
You have one arm.
You wield a copper battle axe AND copper shield, both of which you've named, while your fellow military are decked in steel.
You are my best and most respected warrior with the most kills
Why did you decide to bite that forgotten beast with deadly extract?
How did you tear the HEAD off the forgotten beast with your TEETH?
How come you walked away unscathed, practically flossing with the beasts sinew, smothered in its blood, and are suffering no effects?
Why is that cat melting?

Sincerely,
Your perplexed but amused overseer.

He is all that is dwarf.

Dear Urist MsAxedwarf,

[Samuel]

Dear Chief Medical Dwarf,
I hate to interrupt you while you're partying, but do you hear that vague sound of a half dozen dwarfs groaning in agony? Sounds like it's coming from the hospital, doesn't it? Think it has something to do with the Goblin ambushes a few weeks ago? or the giant, living ball of fire that came from underground, maybe?

Have fun at the party. No really, take your time. But if we end up with a hospital full of vegetables slowly dying of infection, I'm going to send you to take care of the Elk Bird infestation in the caverns. Alone. And you'll be naked.

Signed,
An Annoyed Overseer

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Random McMushrooms,

How did you get upstairs from the caverns? Not that I'm complaining, you're rather cute and it's amusing to see you pop up all over. But aren't you supposed to grow in the caverns?  How did you get up here? I assume your happy little spores wafted up and started growing.  this bears further investigation, for Science.

the puzzled and amused overseer

[MasterMorality]

Dear elves,

What's more fun than dropping you four z levels onto hard stone? Watching you survive the initial impact and linger, sometimes attempting to get back to your caravan, passing out and vomiting all the while, until your death. That said at least two of you did manage to survive. I respect that.

Much amused,
The Overseer

[Nekudotayim]

Dear Urist McMiner,

I am really thankful for all the hard work you did down there deep beneath the earth. So I sent you some new miners, to speed up the work and let you have more freetime.

I didn't expect you to take this so serious. Why do you only dig away one tile and let the others also dig away one tile? You may enjoy the walk up and down all the time but that is not, what I had in mind.


Regards,
The Overlord

[ZeroSumHappiness]

Dear Urist McLegendaryMiner,

When I assigned the dangerous task of carving holes into the warm rock I didn't mean you.  I know that you were doing engraving-duty since we are not currently expanding, but couldn't you have taken time off to drink or something?  I will have to be more clear in the future which, unfortunately, you are not a part of.

Your Illustrious Overseer

Dear Usist McOtherLegendaryMiner,

After seeing the first legendary miner put holes into the teat of Hell, releasing its awesome milk all over his Armok-damned self perhaps you should not have done the exact same thing seconds later.  Seriously, people, I put you on temp duty and you think you can do the most dangerous job in the fort.

Your Disappointed Overseer

Also, facepalm at myself for doing that twice in a row.  One miner slow enough to be eaten by magma, sure, it sucks.  TWO IN A ROW...

[Greiger]

Dear egg laying fortress citizens,

No that nest box is not for you it's for the birds in the pen.

Why the hell did you carry your offspring to the food stockpile?  That's disturbing.

Dammit no!  I wanted that chocobo egg kept in the nest box!  I want them to breed dammit!

I told you people to stop laying yer eggs in the chocobo pens!

I needed a new food stockpile, the split second that it allowed eggs was not reason for you to all universally take your eggs out of your nest boxes!  Are you that insistent on disturbing omlettes?

Why are you claiming a nest box!  You aren't even married!  And it's in the chocobo pens at any rate!

Sincerely with raising stress levels,
The administration

[Joshua IX]

Dear Urist McThresher,

Next time you go to pull a lever, thus securing our fortress from severe flooding, try to avoid falling 4 z-levels down a well, getting caught in the current (or swimming towards the light - we'll never know) and then falling a further 12 z-levels into our bottom-of-gorge statue garden/drinking area.

Your skills will not be missed, nor will your company - the mayor hated you. Though it was severely inconvenient to clear up all those body parts from our beautiful recreation space.

Enjoy the crypt!

Your benevolent (?) overseer

[Mantonio]

Dear Mountainhome

While the site chosen for PraiseHelms is pleasant enough (the downy grass and bubble bulbs are soft and lovely underfoot, and there are Fluffy Wamblers everywhere! And Unicorns! Oh my Armok it's so magical!) and the the hematite deposits are very welcome, I can't help but criticise your prospectors for the lack of information given when we were setting out. You knew there was metal, so presumably you knew what type it was, yet you didn't think we needed to know?

If I didn't know better, I'd say the King was trying to scam people into setting up shop above less attractive (yet admittedly useful to the Dwarfen Empire) metals like tin or bismuth, rather than iron or gold that so many seek! Not that I'm personally complaining, but perhaps letting them know beforehand would result in less cases of unprepared outposts being pillaged by Goblins. Just a thought.

-Watching pixies Awaiting your reply
Administrator of Praisehelms

- To Urist McAnimaltrainer

We need a petting zoo. Chop chop!

- Administrator

[jaxy15]

Dear Urist McWeaver

What the hell is your problem? Why did you have to kill the dog and miner?
You have serious freaking issues. Everyone was happy when you died.
See you in hell.
You will not be missed.

Signed,
Person who likes justice.

Dear new people who joined the military squad,

You will replace the warriors that were defeated in a fight against goblins.
The barracks are 2 Z-levels below the fort.
Your training gear and fighting gear are on stockpiles in the dining room.

Signed,
A person.

[Nekudotayim]

Dear UristMcFrigginDuke,

are you friggin nuts or something??!? Stop mandating friggin bismuth items! We have no friggin bismuth! Or let's say it's friggin rare!

You may have some friggin accident with some friggin magma one friggin day!

Also: friggin!


Signed
An annoyed Overseer.

PS: friggin!!!

[ivze]

Dear Urist McHammerdwarf,

the nice blue hammer is not for you, it's for the justice system.

Signed,
overseer.

[winner22580]

Dear entire 3 squads of militia,

You should not drop all the things that will keep you alive such as weapons and armor when i send you to defend the fort from a hoard of crossbow wielding goblins, punching them to death might seem like as awesome idea at the time but you got 6 of your squad members killed.

yours truly, overseer